Marrying my non EU partner good idea?

[K900]

Hi all,

My girlfriends visa expires soon and the only way for her to stay in the country will be to get married. I do love this girl but marriage does scare me as I never thought I'd get married this young. However if I don't marry her I will likely never see her again. Also marriage would open up a lot of doors for her in the future and give her the chance at a much better life. I enjoy spending time with her and feel I would miss her a lot if she was to leave. I think I'd be willing to give marriage a go with her as I'd really like to spend more time with her and give her a much better quality of life. If it didn't work out after a few years we could always separate I guess? Has anyone ever been in this situation or have any experience like this. We have been together 6 months. It seems a bit surreal to me but I don't want to lose this girl from my life forever. She is from Chile and I live in Ireland. Thanks

Surely if you are asking the question you know it's not a good idea??

Are you sure that the only thing you need to do is marry her? Not sure how things work in Ireland but in the uk you would still have to apply for a visa (which can be expensive) and then prove you earn over a certain amount or have enough savings ect. You really need to look into things more, apart from that marrying someone you have known for 6 months is crazy to be honest

Please don’t. And make sure you are taking full responsibility for contraception, or you may end up with an anchor baby and parental ( financial) responsibility for the next eighteen years when you are very young.

No. My dad married someone because her visa expired and it was the only way for her to stay. What a lifetime of fuck ups and pain that brought. Not just his lifetime - he is dead now, but the fuck ups and pain are still ongoing.

No don’t do it. At six months in you barely know her.

If it is meant to be, she/you will find a way to get back together. My brother and his now wife had two periods of two years where they were on different continents.

Also divorce is so long and complicated in Ireland I wouldn’t.

What’s stopping you learning Spanish and moving to Ushuaia.

This is crazy frankly at this early stage. You hardly know each other and on top of which she could well be using you as some sort of ticket into staying in Ireland permanently.

You have been together 6 months, you barely know her.
And if you have to ask a load of strangers on the internet if its a good idea then its probably not

Surely if it‘s a solid relationship the distance can be navigated (literally and metaphorically) for a while to really be sure?!

If you think you’ll never see her again after she goes, doesn’t that tell you what you need to know?

Don't.

Think forward a few years. You have had children. It doesn’t work out and she desperately misses home. Neither of you can be a good parent to a child on a different continent.

In a word
No.

So long distance for a bit test the relationship to see if it survives that - That gives you time to save up to go to Chile for a bit? Get to know her culture and then even live somewhere neutral together while you see if you can go the distance? When you know you know but it does sound like you do atm.

What's to stop you both going to Chile for a few years? Get to know each other better and then return to settle in Ireland if that's what you want?

Absolutely not. 6 months is not enough time to decide a lifetime commitment. Going into a marriage thinking up can divorce is not the way to go into it. Do long distance, go visit Chile and see how it goes.

Six months? Um, no.

No.
Full stop.

Who bought up the idea of marriage?

I would be suspicious if it was her so early in a relationship.

What is her situation back in her home country.

If you are serious about each other, you will find a way to make it work, whatever the distance without having to get married.

Absolutely not. How old are you both?

Chile is one of the most prosperous countries in South America, you don't need to rescue her. Can you go and spend some time with her there when her visa runs out?

Have you earned 30k for two years? You need to check the rules but it’s nowhere as easy as ‘get married she can live here’. That’s just practicalities. For the other stuff, it’s way too soon and you can’t know her well enough. If she is pushing for a visa the next thing will be an ‘accidental’ baby to strengthen her case. Then what happens if you split up and she takes the child back to child with her?

The rules are here
<a class="break-all" href="https://www.irishimmigration.ie/coming-to-join-family-in-ireland/joining-an-irish-national/join-family-visa#guidewww.irishimmigration.ie/coming-to-join-family-in-ireland/joining-an-irish-national/de-facto-partner-of-an-irish-national/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.irishimmigration.ie/coming-to-join-family-in-ireland/joining-an-irish-national/join-family-visa/#guidewww.irishimmigration.ie/coming-to-join-family-in-ireland/joining-an-irish-national/de-facto-partner-of-an-irish-national/

And you need to be making over €40k pa.

I know a couple who were in a similar situation. They met when they were both studying in Denmark. He is from the UK, she is from China. Not sure how long they were actually a couple for but they had only know each other for one year when they both had to return to their home countries.

They gave it a go long distance. Due to the cost of travel and the visa application process they did not see each other for a year. Then they decided to get married so she could join him in the UK as it was obvious that continuing a long distance relationship wasn't an option. So they got married with quite a pragmatic approach knowing that if they didn't get married it would be the end of the relationship but also unsure about if a marriage would last.

In their case it turned out well and they are still married 10 years later.

In my opinion they did the right thing waiting to get married so they could get to know each other a bit better before committing to marriage.
Nowadays staying in contact with people on the other side of the globe is so much easier than it used to be so it doesn't necessarily spend the end of a relationship but it obviously doesn't work as a long term thing.

I think the first 6 months of a relationship is too soon to to decide on marriage, especially when you are young. There is still so much to see and experience and you are still finding out who you are. I would suggest you try it long distance for a while and see how it goes and make a decision about marriage further down the line.

I don't feel that "I think I'd be willing to give marriage a go with her" is a good starting point for what ought to be a life-time commitment.

This would be a good idea. We are both in our early 30s, I don't know though that I could get time off work to travel over there as her visa expires next month. She said it is up to me to get married or not so she's not really pressuring me. I don't know if she could ever get another visa again, she said she probably couldn't.

When we first dated she mentioned she was only here for 6 months. She says she does not like Chile and would like to live in Europe with me. Earlier on she said maybe we should separate as she thought it would be too painful when her visa expired. I wasn't ready to separate at the time because I feel great love for her then and still do now

Do not marry this woman.