Marrying my non EU partner good idea?

[K900]

Hi all,

My girlfriends visa expires soon and the only way for her to stay in the country will be to get married. I do love this girl but marriage does scare me as I never thought I'd get married this young. However if I don't marry her I will likely never see her again. Also marriage would open up a lot of doors for her in the future and give her the chance at a much better life. I enjoy spending time with her and feel I would miss her a lot if she was to leave. I think I'd be willing to give marriage a go with her as I'd really like to spend more time with her and give her a much better quality of life. If it didn't work out after a few years we could always separate I guess? Has anyone ever been in this situation or have any experience like this. We have been together 6 months. It seems a bit surreal to me but I don't want to lose this girl from my life forever. She is from Chile and I live in Ireland. Thanks

I think I'd be willing to give marriage a go with her as I'd really like to spend more time with her and give her a much better quality of life

That's not a good enough reason to marry someone and not a firm enough basis - willing to give it a go??

She said it is up to me to get married or not so she's not really pressuring me
She doesn't sound that bothered to be honest.

If it didn't work out after a few years we could always separate I guess?
As if it's as easy as you make it sound. What if there are children involved? You'll need to agree a fair divorce settlement and also custody of children and child maintenance.

Somebody who is talking the way you are absolutely shouldn't be getting married. Also you made out you were so young etc but you are early 30s which is not that young for marriage and by your early 30s you should have enough experience to know for sure whether a person is right for you and you want to spend the rest of your life with them and whether you are ready for marriage.

So no, you shouldn't marry her.

All of this.

To be entirely practical, you absolutely could marry and it’s not a mad idea if you think this COULD be the relationship for you. But do some things to protect yourself if so. Do not have children for a long time - 4-5 years at least. Divorce is possible, but if you have kids, you’re tied for life. Also think through finances. I wouldn’t make big financial commitments together that you don’t need, or especially DON’T make a commitment with your money only - if you buy property, be very clear about inputs and financial fairness.

But to be honest, after 6 months and unless you earn very well, it just may not be possible anyway.

I met my DH while studying at uni. We dated for a year and then I graduated and has to go home. He flew to my home country to propose to me a few months later and then I moved to Europe where he was studying to marry him. I was 22 and he was 24. We moved back to London 1 year later where we lived with his family, found jobs and bought our own place 3 years later.

We are still together , celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary last year, very happy together. No kids due to fertility issues.

Are you sure you’re not being manipulated ?
Of she truly loved you she’d find a way to see you again or you could visit he.
You don’t know her. Why marry a stranger ? It’s asking for trouble.

Instead, see this as a test of your love for each other. If it’s true love you will both find a way.
If she’s not going to see you again unless you marry her it says it all really !

She is definitely trying to pressure you with what you've said here! Also at 6 months in you really cannot decide if you want to be with her long term. If it werent for this issue, Im sure you wouldnt be considering marriage at all at this stage

If your best mate came to you and told you he was considering marrying someone he'd only known for 6 months so they could get a visa what would you say?

Really, why can't she get a work visa?

She can only get a student visa I think, but each time she would do that she has to spend 2-3 thousand euro. Also, she has begun to tire of having to attend classes all the time because she also works during the week and she is very tired from having to do both.

She should have thought about that before she came. Her plan was to find a mug to marry her after 6 months. That's you.

True

UK spousal visas require you to have been together for minimum two years. I assume Ireland would be similar but I don't know.

My honest opinion. This is not an internet question. No one here knows the dynamics of the both of you but you and her. Only you know what to do. Tune in and listen to your intuition.

There are people that get married after two weeks and make it and some that land flat on their face. Only you will know…

I checked and it's the same for Ireland.

You have to prove you've lived together for two years.

Could you both move to another country where it's possible for you to stay and get visas? At least for long enough to determine if you truly want to marry her, other than for a visa?

Gone are the days when you just need to get married to ensure a non-EU partner can stay in the country! It’s just as hard for her to stay when you’re married - you need to be earning enough money, you need to do a long and expensive application process … it’s definitely not as simple as just getting married!

Please don't get married. You are around d the same age as my son and I would be advising him to do long distance relationship for at least a year before even considering marriage. She came on a student visa but is sick of attending classes because she's also working, what else did she expect to happen?? You do not know each other fully, she wants to stay in Europe and you are her ticket to do so, if she loves you she will accept that you are not ready for marriage and will be willing to try continue the relationship long distance but I fear you know deep down that she will not accept that and will probably move on very quickly

No don’t

She is using you to get herself out of Chile. Also even attempting this after 6 months will flag something up to the authorities and get you in massive trouble. She didn't really think through her student visa very well did she? She's tired and fed up of studying and working? How did she think she was going to pay for her food and accommodation?She playing you unfortunately.

Sorry I think she's worried her visa will run out and she doesn't want to return to her home country
After 6 months you hardly know her, let alone plan a future with
It's not that as simple to prove you are a couple as you seem to think
So No, do not marry her

If you can’t be arsed to fly to Chile to visit her, you dont love her enough to marry her.

Six months is too short to know each other although it's worked in many other cases. But it may also count again her in the visa application since they look at how long you've been together before marrying then applying for a visa. Am non EU and faced such intense scrutiny in my relationship when applying for visa here though I had been with my partner for 13 years (married for 6) and had lived in an EU country before. Also consider the cost: at least £4000 to £5000 with additional ±2000 for an immigration lawyer. And in all likelihood she will be asked to return to Chile and apply from there if her visa category will change significantly. This will add to costs.
Does she work? Could she apply for a work visa? Student visa if she's (interested in) studying. Could you move to Chile for a year or so? Easier for you visa and work wise, then you can see how your relationship goes.

And please don't marry her because you feel you can make her life economically better.

This. And every couple of years you have to pay shitloads of money and submit a ridiculous amount of documentation to stay. It's cost me over £10,000 in 5.5 years to stay with my husband and kids. And that's with a man I have been with for 19 years!

You poor gullible fool.

You need to get better at spotting manipulation.

When the inevitable 'surprise' baby makes an appearance soon you will be truly screwed.