@K900
It's absolutely no wonder you are so upset, you have every right to be.
You have had a very tough few days, lots of different opinions and some things I've no doubt you didn't want or expect to hear includng from me. As I said previously, I feel for you, from some of the PP here, many of us do. It has been a difficult situation for you to have been in and to your endless credit you have given this situation way more consideration than most would have.
In every post and every thought you have put someone else first, many focus on their own woe or what they want, but not you. The only thing you wanted for yourself was to help. If only more people were like you, putting others first, trying to see things from all angles even though they have been hard to consider. You have not once reacted in anger at anything anyone has said here, in fact you have been incredibly accommodating and tolerant.
All anyone can ask of you is that you try your very best and I can tell you that you have categorically done just that. No one could have done more given what you have to work with and within the time frame you have, many would have been happy to have done a lot less. There is positively nothing more you can do.
Now you are incredibly vulnerable, you have exhausted all the possibilities, you have made a choice that has been very hard to make. I want to ask that you now put you first, and take care of your wellbeing. It is so easy for men to try and tough it out, be a protector, and stand up to things rather than allowing yourself to feel all the emotions that are now coming to the fore. You will be better for it too.
Please K900 take a step back from this situation and give yourself a chance to breathe, and give yourself room to feel. And take big deep breaths the clear air is cold, but it is always healing, always.
You are important, you need time. When you come through the other side of this, you will have more confidence, you will feel better and you will forge ahead with your life. You will come to love the experience for what it was, a relationship you treasure, and you will realise that sometimes you can only do so much before you have to let it go. Some relationships are not for us but they pave the way for the relationships that are.
You have done all you can and you have done the right thing, no one can ask you to do more than that.
Remember you are a wonderful, generous, and caring man, thats a real rarity, some of us would die for that. You deserve to be happy, cared for, and loved and K900 you very much will be when she comes along.