Boyfriend is angry when I shared details about a Ronan Keating concert

[Kitty234]

I (35F) and my boyfriend (41M) have been together for the past two years. We plan to get married mid-next year. Currently, we’re in a long-distance relationship and plan to reunite next year.

Last week, I went to a Ronan Keating concert, and when my boyfriend asked me how it was, I told him it was great, that he made me blush, and that Keating even threw his shirt to the audience, causing all the women to swoon. From the tone of my boyfriend's voice, I could tell he wasn’t too happy about it. For context, he once got upset when I mentioned that I found a celebrity sportsman attractive.

The next day, I posted pictures from the concert on Instagram with the caption: "90s kid was happy, send help, I’m still blushing." Later that evening, my boyfriend sent a long text saying that my post was very disrespectful. We had a long, heated conversation on WhatsApp, and I finally told him that I was just sharing a moment. I added that I shouldn’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I talk to him; I should feel safe discussing anything with him. He responded by saying he’s never made me feel unsafe in the relationship and accused me of trying to gaslight him.

At that point, I lost my temper and broke up with him over text. He never replied, and it’s been a week. I miss him so much, but I’m scared of giving him another opportunity to hurt me.

Is he the red flag here, or am I?

Each to their own. Personally I can't see myself sitting at home after work & receiving a call from DH saying 'won't be long I'm off to the pub for drinks with Katie' or watching TV then he suddenly stands up puts his jacket on & says oops forgot I'd promised Katie I'd meet her for drinks at 7 o'clock. It's just not happening 😂

I reckon Ronan Keating was bored, feeling old and wrote this for a laugh.

OP?

I don’t do a lot of sitting at home after work or tv watching. Last time I had a drink with a male friend, it was after a film, DH was out for dinner with other people, and came to say hi afterwards on his way home. When he had lunch with one of his female friends a couple of weeks ago, I was away for the weekend. I’m going climbing with a different male friend, weather permitting, on Saturday. DH will have just got off a transatlantic flight so will be napping and hanging out with DS. We’ll have dinner together after I get home.

You could tell he wasn't happy and then you posted on Instagram? Did you think that he would like that?

I'm 39 and even my mum & her friends wouldn't be talking about blushing at a Ronan Keaton concert

Only 50,000 or so fans at the concert, and he picked you. Lol
Must be what long distance BF was thinking.
Move on. Enjoy your life and your concerts.

I would never mention another man in any similar light in front of my husband (or then boyfriend), because he is my idol and I won't have another one I fancy better than him.

If your boyfriend is not the person or only person that make you blushing, then maybe you should rethink your love for him?

Or I get that you may fancy a star that is only spiritual or as a dream, but the least you can do is not to mention it to him to hurt his feelings. Don't do it again!

Plus, it's natural to feel insecure in a long distance relationship. If you still don't get it, then he is not for you, you should find someone who is okay with it.

Sounds like a very individualistic approach to family life but as I mentioned each to their own.

I'm getting flashbacks to Mizz magazine.

Whilst some people might consider Ronan Keating's music criminal, getting huffy over you liking him is a much worse offense in my book. He should stay dumped.

This happened to me over a poster of Ronan I had on my wall in my university bedroom...in 1995... when my boyfriend and I were 18... He didn't like it at all but I recall it was fine for him to have various scantily clad girls on his wall from Loaded. Perhaps Ronan is a particular threat to other men.

I hope your husband never falls off the pedestal you've put him on.

I find other men attractive, not just my DH. I would never in a million years leave him for someone else/ cheat etc.

Chuck him. He is controlling and has bad taste in music.

😂

I find it's the accent. He has a lovely Irish lilt.

Your husband is your idol? Sorry but that's an incredibly unhealthy dynamic, to have him so far beyond reproach or criticism. Does he fart rose smelling glitter too?

A couple of instances over a period of a few months when op and her dp weren't joint at the hip is an individualistic approach??

Why are you especially barred from seeing married men alone Vs single? Who don't you trust in this situation? I'm off out to Manchester with a male friend next month for the full day, DH will stay home with the kids. I couldn't imagine him banning me because he happens to have a penis

Quite frankly, if he's jealous over a celebrity crush, then he's bonkers.

The last thing you want is to be tied to a pathologically jealous twat.

Rinse him off your phone and memory and find a man, not a silly spiteful boy.

He’s actually a bit too blonde and boyish for me. In some photos I almost get Bart Simpson vibes. Maybe it’s the slightly spiked hair ones .

You can Thank Ronan for showing you what a Knob he is before you decided to marry him.
lucky Escape
NOW BLOCK

😂😂 Has to have been Ronan.

Finding others attractive is one thing, blushing occasionally is okay too, but to post it publicly and let a boyfriend know is not wise, as it will surely be misunderstood.

I’m with you. The only time I’ve gone gaga over someone or idolised them was two guys in my life that I’ve been in love with, and fancied so much, and they were all that I could see. Nobody else would hold a candle to them. But I’m not someone that has ever stuck posters on my wall or fancied people I don’t know. It’s clear when someone is conventionally attractive, but it doesn’t mean they light a spark in me or that I would want anything with them. However, we are in the minority here, so you aren’t going to get a lot of understanding here.

I personally would find being with someone like this a massive turn off. This whole “it’s not like she’s going to get a chance with Ronan is it” is nonsense, if that’s all that’s stopping her jumping his bones, she’s not a woman worth being with at all. I think perhaps her boyfriend is more on the page that to be feeling all these things for a stranger takes something away from what she feels for him, and I would agree. If you don’t feel everything for someone to the exclusion of all others, you don’t have the real deal, you are settling, even if many here would be outraged for me to say it, just maybe they’ve never truly experienced all in love and desire for someone before. I totally get his perspective that it is disrespectful, and crass and just horrible to be talking sexually or romantically in any way, about another man, whoever he is.

The fact she dumps him show exactly where her priorities are and who she is as a person, she didn’t even care about how he feels about it, and in his eyes their relationship is now a joke- as that’s how I would feel about it for sure

I can't quite word this perfectly but there's something off about both sides hence saying maintain the split.

The sustained talk of 'blushing' is both twee and somewhat needling the partner when he's made clear he doesn't find this funny. Is it controlling to veto a teenage crush being revived? Well maybe. However, they then both turn very quickly to accusatory therapeutic language, feeling unsafe in the relationship, gaslighting etc. All seems very histrionic on both sides. I think this had been brewing. Maybe looking for a no-blame way out of a long distance engagement?

I really think this has nothing to do with fancying Ronan Keating.

That’s good for you but we’re all a product of our experiences. I was told every day at secondary school how ugly I am, my first boyfriend constantly compared me unfavourably to gorgeous pop stars and dh had all the lads mags and pics of naked random women on his phone for most of our early years together. So forgive me if I have never felt good enough and for not being as secure and happy as yourself. For me, dh lusting after other women, whether they’re available to him or not, triggers self hatred in me. Yes it’s my problem not his but sometimes we just need our partners to just think about their words and actions a little bit.

He’d love me then . I have a couple of paintings of my crushes up in the living room. Mind you one’s been dead 30 years and the other even longer. My husband put them up for me. He’s nonplussed. We’ve been married 30 years.

This is just beyond daft.