Boyfriend is angry when I shared details about a Ronan Keating concert

[Kitty234]

I (35F) and my boyfriend (41M) have been together for the past two years. We plan to get married mid-next year. Currently, we’re in a long-distance relationship and plan to reunite next year.

Last week, I went to a Ronan Keating concert, and when my boyfriend asked me how it was, I told him it was great, that he made me blush, and that Keating even threw his shirt to the audience, causing all the women to swoon. From the tone of my boyfriend's voice, I could tell he wasn’t too happy about it. For context, he once got upset when I mentioned that I found a celebrity sportsman attractive.

The next day, I posted pictures from the concert on Instagram with the caption: "90s kid was happy, send help, I’m still blushing." Later that evening, my boyfriend sent a long text saying that my post was very disrespectful. We had a long, heated conversation on WhatsApp, and I finally told him that I was just sharing a moment. I added that I shouldn’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I talk to him; I should feel safe discussing anything with him. He responded by saying he’s never made me feel unsafe in the relationship and accused me of trying to gaslight him.

At that point, I lost my temper and broke up with him over text. He never replied, and it’s been a week. I miss him so much, but I’m scared of giving him another opportunity to hurt me.

Is he the red flag here, or am I?

Well, life is a rollercoaster, OP.

Thank goodness you didn't get married.

I took my husband to see Little Mix and he literally shouted “Jade notice me” I laughed at him.

Your BF is being ridiculous, lucky escape!

There are two types of women, those that simply don’t get the whole swooning over celebrities thing, and those that have been doing it since they were teenagers and haven’t stopped. He sounds like he would prefer to be with the first type. I don’t get the whole swooning over celebrities things either, and as you get older I find it strange grown women do this. I can see why he’d feel weird about it, but he probably doesn’t get it either, and is now comparing himself wondering if you ever swoon over him. It’s perfectly valid for him to feel funny about it, you are just different types of people. You’d need to be with a man that swoons over female celebs and updates his Facebook with it, and sounds like he needs to be with a woman that doesn’t.

Ah I love Ronan - all good though, so does my dh 😍😍

He is the problem here. I'll never forget my (ex)husband's fuming face when I asked him to hold my coat and take a photo of me with a celebrity that he knew I fancied, rather than seeing the funny side.

Keep running OP. You've made a good decision leaving him. Block his number and don't look back. You deserve better.

Well done for breaking up with him. He sounds like a jealous control freak. You can't go through the rest of your life being told off at massive length if you so much as look at a good-looking man anywhere.

Please make sure this is a permanent break and block this idiot from all contact with you.

Some of you may think he is the problem, but I’d also be seriously turned off by a man that acted this way about a celebrity, so there are all types of people and some just aren’t compatible. Just because he considers it immature and disrespectful, doesn’t make him wrong- they are likely just not compatible

Stay away from him, block him and don't get back with him and certainly don't marry him

I added that I shouldn’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I talk to him; I should feel safe discussing anything with him. He responded by saying he’s never made me feel unsafe in the relationship and accused me of trying to gaslight him.

Well do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells when you talk to him? or was it just over this one topic? It does sound kind of gaslighty if he was expressing that he felt disrespected and then it all got turned around on him. Should he not feel safe discussing that he felt disrespected?

More context is needed!

We had a long, heated conversation on WhatsApp

How and why did it turn heated? Were you instantly defensive? Or was he just berating you?

You didn’t divorce him?? I’m not sure I could ever look at him again without laughing

Don’t go back OP, not even when you’re 85F.

😂

No one is really coming off great here. Probably best to move on from this.

He wasn't upset you went to the concert or even necessarily that you think this celebrity is attractive - he didn't like that that was the primary aspect of the concert you chose to talk to him about. And then when he expressed that he was unhappy hearing you gush about finding someone besides him attractive you doubled down by doing it publicly.

Is he being insecure? Probably. Obviously you weren't going to be acting on your feelings towards a celebrity. But the "making me feel unsafe" line was manipulative, and he wasn't being controlling. No, your monogamous partner does not need to be happy to listen to you dish about finding another man attractive (and vice versa of course).

Plenty of people in good elationships are happy joking around or casually discussing other people being attractive, but plenty also just don't find that enjoyable or respectful. Find someone who is compatable with you in that regard.

Exactly it's all a bit of light hearted fun. Anything else is jealousy and misery!

It’s him.

have you met each other ?
if so, how often.

I found your comment ' and plan to reunite next year. ' what did you mean by this ?

anyway, do not unblock him, make sure it is over - there are plenty more in the sea so just throw this one back.

Excellent! 😄

They're in a long distance relationship if they're going to argue it'd have to be over WhatsApp, the phone or FaceTime. Not sure why that's embarrassing.

I think he had a lucky escape, I’m shocked the sheer number of women that are backing this up. Nobody wants to be with a woman baby. It’s extremely cringeworthy and pathetic to be swooning over celebrities at any age, never mind past the age of 15. You breaking up with him over text because of your swooning over ronan keating no doubt confirmed to him he wasn’t on to a winner. What would there honestly be to respond to? Did you want a response? Better have these conversations early on about what you expect in a relationship etc. it just sounds like you are of a completely different mindset, and it would be as tedious for him watching you swoon over celebrities as it would for you having to appease him over it.

I disagree with this. If he was posting a picture of a female friend on social media with the same caption how would you feel?

this kind of behaviour isn’t ok just because the persons “famous”. Its still disrespectful

To some other guys you may well be a winner, the two of you just aren’t compatible. It’s the early signs of disconnect which should not be taken lightly. I’m sure you are a lovely person, just these types of things can trip up a relationship in the early days, and for him, it’s a massive turn off. So I don’t consider he’s done anything wrong- as for him it’s about respect and having your desire, and women here who are demonising him, you just don’t get it- it doesn’t make him wrong. Big word- compatibility. I was blunt in my message above, but just sharing the other side of this. The break up bit sealed the deal, he was already feeling pushed aside, and you literally broke up with him over it, which speaks volumes I’m afraid.

Well neither of you sounds especially mature, but he's worse.

I went to see Harry Styles last year. DH not only came me, but he managed not to have a temper tantrum when I casually mentioned that if the occasion arose and I was single, and 10 years younger, and looked like Kendall Jenner then I'd ride him like a pony 🤷🏻‍♀️

Classy

I have given my DP permission to shag Scarlett Johansson if the opportunity ever presents itself.

You have a harmless celebrity crush, (though to be fair, Ronan has a reputation for spreading the love so you never know your luck 😉) and if your BF is acting like a jealous lover then you’re better off out of it.