Boyfriend is angry when I shared details about a Ronan Keating concert

[Kitty234]

I (35F) and my boyfriend (41M) have been together for the past two years. We plan to get married mid-next year. Currently, we’re in a long-distance relationship and plan to reunite next year.

Last week, I went to a Ronan Keating concert, and when my boyfriend asked me how it was, I told him it was great, that he made me blush, and that Keating even threw his shirt to the audience, causing all the women to swoon. From the tone of my boyfriend's voice, I could tell he wasn’t too happy about it. For context, he once got upset when I mentioned that I found a celebrity sportsman attractive.

The next day, I posted pictures from the concert on Instagram with the caption: "90s kid was happy, send help, I’m still blushing." Later that evening, my boyfriend sent a long text saying that my post was very disrespectful. We had a long, heated conversation on WhatsApp, and I finally told him that I was just sharing a moment. I added that I shouldn’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I talk to him; I should feel safe discussing anything with him. He responded by saying he’s never made me feel unsafe in the relationship and accused me of trying to gaslight him.

At that point, I lost my temper and broke up with him over text. He never replied, and it’s been a week. I miss him so much, but I’m scared of giving him another opportunity to hurt me.

Is he the red flag here, or am I?

You both sound immature - arguing over WhatsApp and breaking up by text instead of speaking to each other like adults??

But his behaviour is a red flag. Stay broken up.

This. Ok to find people attractive but a bit icky to publicly letch.

This is a completely harmless thing to write, I don't know why everyone is trying to embarrass the OP.

OP you're well rid, this kind of jealousy is not on.

I don’t think the OP gets embarrassed, she posted about swooning over Ronan keating on Facebook, and she’s not ten

I remember my exs friend telling me my ex liked Cheryl Cole. He'd never said this to me. She was gorgeous, I was 2 kids in at the time, feeling shit about myself and there he is drooling over someone in the opposite position to me. He may have low self esteem and you've kicked him when he's down. Not to say his reaction was called for but try and se from his side. If he's otherwise a good guy I think you've been tone deaf a bit perhaps.

He feels unsafe becuase you fancy a celebrity. If you were swooning over his brother it'd be different, but he doesn't actually think you're going to cheat on him with ronan keating does he?

Gross, blushing over Ronan Keating - you know he cheated on his wife of 12 years and had an affair with his backing dancer?
I think you need to grow up. How would you feel if he put up pictures of a female celeb and was saying she made him blush - it would be weird and creepy surely?
If he's desperately jealous of you liking Ronan Keating though then that's equally ridiculous/pathetic. Maybe you're perfect for each other?

Major red flag.

Also I can't believe people would pay to see Ronan Keating. Major ick

Hi OP...you're getting quite a mixed bag of responses on here. I'd say you've definitely done the right thing. There was nothing wrong with what you posted...as someone else posted, Ronan has definitely aged well like a fine wine (I enjoy hearing his voice on Magic radio in the mornings...sucker for an Irish accent!)
I left my ex due to coercive control and emotional abuse and even he didn't say anything about my crush on Hugh Jackman (I hear he's single now BTW!) He had a crush on Oti Mabuse (the Strictly Pro) but we weren't so insecure that we couldn't talk about them.

I do think it’s strange that you have an argument and break up over what’s app. Surely at the point it starts getting heated, you phone or FaceTime and have a proper conversation about the disagreement?

But yes, he’s the red flag. Ridiculous thing to get upset about and as pp say, if he’s like this with an unobtainable celebrity, what would he be like with men/people you associate with in real life.

Has he ever shown a jealousy/controlling tendency before?

With so many of these ‘Rewind’ concert things on now, lots of us go and see pop stars we had crushes on.
It’s a bit of fun. If you put up a post about blushing, so what? It wasn’t intentionally to hurt anyone, just a nod to your fun crush as a teenager.
The distance isn’t helping. He’s reading all sorts into things because he’s not there. In an everyday relationship, he’d have packed you off to the concert and then been there when you’d got home.
I used to get wound up about this stuff myself.
This is my theory - when women meet their actual crush, they go to bits and go bright red.
Men - balding, overweight, bad clothes, the world think when they meet the girl on their posters, they are in with a real chance. I am not kidding.
My OP took me to see the other love of my life for my 50th Birthday and said to the fella next to him..
I am but being funny mate but if we’re in middle aged Love Island, and he walked in, I’d be bang in trouble right now.
Personally, the worst thing you could do is marry this man. You have your own life, freedoms and tastes right now. Marry this one, and your life as you know it will be over.

It's never a good idea to marry a 10 year old man............

This is very petty and not even living together. Next time he has to exert more manliness and self control, he will gaslighting you again by telling you , that you gaslight him

Why was it left to drag on for so long being long distance?!!!!

Then the issue is the low self esteem that the person should work on rather than expecting other people to ‘protect them??

Oh you sound like my teenage self. A story to make you jealous... Ronan Keating saved my life (well not literally but back then we thought so haha)

Was at a concert full of boy bands in the Mayfair Newcastle circa 1994 (we were coming to the end of our teeny bopper phase) and we were on the upstairs balcony and I thought I was clever standing on the railing, one of those that had a pattern in the middle, to stop being so crushed by people behind. I stuck the heels of my favorite red shoes in the railing to steady myself and there was a surge forward and I went half over the railings with my heels still stuck in the railing. My friends were panicked trying to pull me back up and Ronan spotted it and stopped singing and told security to come and help me!
We did get to meet them afterwards when they were signing autographs, but they did give me a telling off for being dangerous 😳

Yes but surely a loving partner would be considerate and help to boost the self esteem of the person they love? It’s not “protecting”
just being caring. You don’t have to rub your partner’s nose in it if you’re lusting like an idiot after someone else.

I wouldn't like it if my DH made an Instagram post gushing about fancying someone else tbh 😂

You clearly shouldn't be thinking about getting married. Any relationship that ends over something like this was never meant to be, and ending an engagement over text is pretty wild!

How would 'male friends' wife feel about that? I agree OP should be aware of red flags here regarding control but this analogy is pushing boundaries especially if the 'male friend' is in a committed relationship. It's a no go in my marriage on both sides and neither of us are jealous or controlling.We do have agreed boundaries though.

This. DH and I were watching Vikings the other day, everyone kept getting their kit off except Harald. DH jokingly sympathised with me. He also occasionally tags me in half naked photos of Chris Hemsworth

I agree there’s no analogy. I go for drinks with male friends, married and unmarried, on a regular basis, and DH sees female friends likewise, but I’d be horrified if he was made to ‘blush’ by — struggling to think of female equivalent of Ronan K, to be honest…

Going against the grain here.

I’d find it really weird if my other half posted about blushing or getting romantically turned on by a celebrity. Are you a bloody teenager?

Why do you tell him who you are attracted to? You can like who you like but why be so insensitive if you know he doesn’t like it. You sound immature. Break up by text >> I mean where do we even start on this one. He’s had a lucky escape.

This sounds like something that would happen in high school, not from two adults entering midlife.

@Kitty234 he is the red flag. You’ve had a lucky escape.

No one want to be with a stick-up-their-arse misery guts either but there you go,😂

Wow I had no idea of just how many people are riddled with such insecurities that a partners silly teenage crush would upset them. I've never known someone in real life to be even remotely bothered by this.