Boyfriend is angry when I shared details about a Ronan Keating concert

[Kitty234]

I (35F) and my boyfriend (41M) have been together for the past two years. We plan to get married mid-next year. Currently, we’re in a long-distance relationship and plan to reunite next year.

Last week, I went to a Ronan Keating concert, and when my boyfriend asked me how it was, I told him it was great, that he made me blush, and that Keating even threw his shirt to the audience, causing all the women to swoon. From the tone of my boyfriend's voice, I could tell he wasn’t too happy about it. For context, he once got upset when I mentioned that I found a celebrity sportsman attractive.

The next day, I posted pictures from the concert on Instagram with the caption: "90s kid was happy, send help, I’m still blushing." Later that evening, my boyfriend sent a long text saying that my post was very disrespectful. We had a long, heated conversation on WhatsApp, and I finally told him that I was just sharing a moment. I added that I shouldn’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I talk to him; I should feel safe discussing anything with him. He responded by saying he’s never made me feel unsafe in the relationship and accused me of trying to gaslight him.

At that point, I lost my temper and broke up with him over text. He never replied, and it’s been a week. I miss him so much, but I’m scared of giving him another opportunity to hurt me.

Is he the red flag here, or am I?

Massive red flag. I was once involved with a man who's face went very dark whenever I mentioned someone I thought looked great celeb wise. He would go quiet on me.

I dumped him. Then he started stalking me on the internet and made tons of new email addresses and social media accounts to try and contact me. I had to go to the police. He was dangerous.

Never ever stay with someone who reacts to things like that. They're counting on you going back. Don't.

Don't go back, he's jealous and sounds controlling
Block his number

I think it was disrespectful

To whom?

To the relationship

LOL

Found the whiny manchild.

Bollocks. He's behaving like an angry toddler. She does right to be rid of him.

At that point, I lost my temper and broke up with him over text. He never replied, and it’s been a week. I miss him so much, but I’m scared of giving him another opportunity to hurt me.

There isn't another opportunity for him to hurt you though? It's over and that sounds like it's for the best.

If my other half was swooning over a singer, I would find it very cringey and inappropriate. If he then broke up with me for pointing that out then I'd be relieved it was over if I'm honest.

Don't be ridiculous. Do you expect them to stare at the floor when they're outside in case they accidentally look at someone too? Most people have celeb crushes, especially from their teens and reminiscing at gigs is totally normal. 🙄

Looking is one thing, repeatedly talking about it would be another.

It does all just sound a really silly reason to break up

And I feel sorry for Ronan Keating as well he was probably ordered to take his shirt off

Swooning over ronan kearing at 35? It's a bit pathetic. Would you be happy if he was listing over a woman?

You’ve made the right decision. Being with a jealous man is going to make your life a misery. Pathetic he’s jealous of a celeb at a concert. Does he really expect you to not find men attractive now you’re in a relationship?

I think the red flag here is the word “disrespectful”. We all should be respected by our partners. But people who demand respect - over something as trivial as this - rarely deserve it.

Just to give the other side of it, my dh is going to see Megan Moroney tonight- she’s an American Country singer and looks like a human Barbie doll. I’m in my forties and look like the back end of a bus. For months I have had to listen to him obsess over her and people telling him how lucky he is to see her. I am already quite depressed about how I look (old and plain) and this feels like having it all confirmed. I can’t compete with someone half my age with better genes but once he’s seen her in the flesh he’ll be even worse and I won’t be good enough. Perhaps I’m controlling too but I just wish he didn’t have to go.

Oh don’t be silly.

I'm not being.

Genuine question with him being abroad - does he actually know who Ronan is? He's not thinking it's someone down the local who you might actually meet?

Do not get married if something so trivial can cause such a heated argument.

You've dodged a bullet.

I think you've made your decision so stick with it. If you're thinking of someone as making you walk on eggshells and unsafe in the relationship then stand by that and remain apart from them.

Blushing?

wtf?

Swop the sexes.

if a man told his girlfriend that he was so attracted to a celebrity that he wa shouting an swooning in public, it would be considered disrespectful to his partner, and a bit gross and unattractive. Even more disrespectful would be a man posting about how much he fancies said celebrity on Facebook.

This is one of those threads that is swimming in double standards.