Sleeping with someone on the first date

[LegalAlienated]

Has this ever developed into a relationship?
I’ve never done this myself, and I consider it ‘cheap’ or desperate to try to get a man. Am I right or is it a thing?
(Debate ongoing between my friend and I.)

Yep, DH. 20 years later and still all good.

You’re only as cheap as you feel. I enjoy sex. It strikes me as very odd to deny yourself something enjoyable.

I'm male, and have had a few relationships where a one night stand or sex on a first date has turned into a relationship afterwards.

I didn't feel "cheap" afterwards, and I never thought any less for the person I'd done it with either. Why would I, I'd just done exactly the same thing!

How are you posting on mumsnet from 1950?

Why are you assuming that the woman wants a relationship?

Is sex on date number 2 any less cheap? I married this date 2 years ago. I fancied him like mad when we first met and our first date lasted 8 hours...I was very keen to sleep with him!

Same.

I am not going to say what I think as I will get slated by the women on here who think sex isn't for being enjoyed (I know hard to believe these attitudes still exist). Please see another thread on Mumsnet about at what age did you give up on sex. Seriously it sounds like some women never started!
OP you do what feels right for you, there is no right or wrong in these situations.
I have slept with men on the first date (shock horror) and with others I have waited. Some developed into a relationship some didn't.

It's nobody else's business or choice other than mine but there is no such thing as feeling 'cheap'.

I have been in a fantastic relationship for many years which is monogynous. However I often look back on those days of being single and smile, they were hedonistic and great fun and I don't regret any of it.
It isn't for anyone else to judge you, or your actions, or your decisions. You have to live your life and enjoy it.

What a bizarre question! The answer is yes, of course.

Does 42 years count as ‘a relationship’?

@DBD1975

I don't think you read the it's correctly. SHES the one doing the judging!

@LegalAlienated

1950 is missing you.

We weren’t even on a date. Met at an event organised by a mutual friend, got hammered, spent night together, happily married 10 years and counting.

18 years later and still very happy. Technically we didn't have our first date until a month after our first shag, so I guess I must be from the £1 bargain bin.

I did because it felt right and it was me that instigated it, still together 2.5 years later and laugh about it now 😊

I did and we’ve just celebrated 20 years together. But if we hadn’t I don’t think that’s ‘cheap’ given it was my choice to enjoy sex with someone I’d spent the day with and fancied.

If someone’s only pursuing you because they haven’t ’made the conquest’ yet isn’t that worse than shagging someone early and them wanting to see you for a second date because they enjoy your company?!

It’s a lot more fun having a date when you already know you find each other physically attractive!

🤣🤣 Same here, sex first date later, happily married now.

To say it's 'cheap' is steeped in misogyny and presuming that women have to guard their sexuality. None of which is true.

People should abide by their own moral standards, but women should not be judging or labelling other women whose standards differ from their own.

Well, he never really left. Now we have 2 dc and a mortgage!

People should abide by their own moral standards, but women should not be judging or labelling other women whose standards differ from their own.
Nor should they torture themselves about not conforming. (to anything)

Slept with a lot of men on the first date that didn't turn into relationships (nor did I want them to). Slept with DP a few hours after meeting him thinking he'd be another of those, had our first date the following week, he's still here 12 years later.

Never thought of myself as cheap. Didn't think of any of those men as cheap either - presumably your judgment extends to them sleeping with women on the first date too?

haha same here! Together 12 years. But why does it really matter? If you want to, and it's mutual and safe, why is it 'cheap'?

There's nothing wrong with any decision that is right for you, and you should stick with whatever you think.

But your op sounds too judgemental.

Yes, now have a mortgage, child and engaged. It felt right ! I have also had sex on the first date and it hasn't progressed and that's okay aswell.

personally i don't because i want to see those red or green flags first 😂 but i would never judge and i have seen it turn into relationships