Sleeping with someone on the first date

[LegalAlienated]

Has this ever developed into a relationship?
I’ve never done this myself, and I consider it ‘cheap’ or desperate to try to get a man. Am I right or is it a thing?
(Debate ongoing between my friend and I.)

There's no right or wrong tbh.
As long as all the adults involved are consenting and necessary precautions are taken then it's nobody else's business when folk sleep together. Some one night stands to turn into more, some don't.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I would feel too awkward to do this, and I think afterward would be even worse and I wouldn't want to see them again

I think the OP is judging herself and setting herself standards she thinks she should be adhering to. Just wanted to give her my perspective, for what it is worth.
For me wanting to tear someone's clothes off was a bit of a prerequisite for going on a date in the first place but that's just me. I wouldn't settle for anything less and if and when you are in that situation it is very difficult to stop and why would you want to, crack on, life is short.
As said on the Vicar of Dibley by an elderly Liz Smith 'Snog em all, or better still sleep with them!' 🤣🤣🤣

Yes, married 18 years now and been together 23!

If that makes me cheap then stack me on a shelf in Poundland and call me a bargain because I don't give a shit!

Well we had sex before we even had a date 😂so I must be the epitome of cheap!

Hit it off on a drunken night out, woke up together the next morning, had a few days of hangover fueled anxiety and regret 😂then a week later he turned up at my house one night with a massive steak, bottle of red wine and some flowers, told me he was in love with me, cooked, stayed the night and never left!

Is your sense of your own value really related to how long you withhold sex? Do you think men 'do' sex to women if allowed, and women's job is to withhold it for some specific amount of time, or for some specific purpose? Are men who sleep with women on a first date 'cheap' too?

I usually slept with men, if not on the first date, then very soon after. Mostly they didn't develop into a relationship, but I didn't want them to -- I was a student enjoying myself. When I was looking for a relationship I still slept with them early on, because I'd hate to discover later on I was completely sexually incompatible with someone I liked, or had invested a lot of time in.

I slept with DH on our first date. In 1992.

Same here! A better way round of doing it in my opinion as I already knew I fancied him and that he was great in bed 😃

I've had sex on most of my first dates! Including DP, and we're getting married. I didn't with late-DH but more because the opportunity wasn't there. I like sex, and I think sexual compatibility is important. So if I'm attracted to someone, and they're attracted to me, and I feel safe, I'm happy to have sex.

Yep. Together ever since the first date. Together for 8 years and married for 5 this year.

I don't have sex with someone on the first date if I want a long term relationship with them, but that's not the same thing.

I also believe that people often choose the route of, well if I sleep with him that seals the deal and means he's interested in me, and are then surprised when it's just a one night stand.

So yes if someone is choosing it thinking it's more likely to mean a relationship that's a stupid thing to do.

If they're choosing it because they want to have sex and haven't considered anything after and just want to see where it goes at most, cool.

See when I was single, I would rather see those flags straightaway than string it out for a few weeks / months and then they end up being a dud in bed 😂

Perfectly acceptable to have sex on first date and i dont think it is cheap or makes a relationship more or less likely.

The word cheap sounds very judgy.

Always. It helped weed out the ones who were only interested in sex.

I think it's just, too intimate, and kind of sets the relationship off funny

Although I'm not judging

"sets the relationship off funny"

What are you on about?!?!

I slept with my now DH on the first date.

22 years later he's still here so I guess I did something right?!

I married him.

But I also slept with men that I never even had a date with because I wanted sex, not a relationship at that time. My body, my choice.

You kind of are though....

I'm not, I'm just saying I think it makes things weird, and I've been there when I was younger

This!!!

Sometimes you just fancied a shag! Especially when it had been a while! Not sure why some people think that women are "cheap" for just wanting to have sex yet it's fine for men?!

It might make things weird for you. Never did for me though.

Yes. Nearly 30 years and still happy.

It's like, you've done this very intimate thing with someone, that you don't really know, but then act normal like this didn't just happen or diminish it. And then you get too invested too quickly