Sleeping with someone on the first date

[LegalAlienated]

Has this ever developed into a relationship?
I’ve never done this myself, and I consider it ‘cheap’ or desperate to try to get a man. Am I right or is it a thing?
(Debate ongoing between my friend and I.)

It's not that likely to lead to a relationship
If only as most first dates don't lead to relationship. If a man judges you harshly for doing what he just did then he's not a good man and has insecurity or misogyny issues so it's a lucky escape.

Yeah this. Thankfully I've never really experienced it but I do know of men who "go off" a woman for having sex on the first date. When they've just done the exact same thing 😂In which case I would be glad to have weeded the loser out straight away because if a man has views like this then I wouldn't have wanted to waste any more dates on him!

Yes. Together 11 years married 3.

Sleeping with a man on the first date has never been for me - I like to know a bit about them first. But I do not judge those who make a different choice.

Uugggh, you don't hear men being called 'cheap' do you?

Well said and could not agree more 👍.

Sex between consenting adults is not a transaction, it's not possible for it to be 'cheap' any more than it is possible for it to be 'expensive'. You sound like you have a deeply immature and emotionally unsophisticated approach to sex.

I’m pretty old so I was socialising a lot with my best friend at the time. We went out met 2 guys who were friends in a bar in 1981 she slept with hers first night, I didn’t I ended up dating mine about 18 months, she married hers. They were together at least 10yrs, I lost touch after they moved, so they could still be together. So judging by this, admittedly small sample size, if you want your relationship to last definitely have sex the first night you meet them, and it’s nothing new it was going on in the 80’s.

In fact I've just been reminded of a bloke my mate went on a date with around 20 years ago. They slept together, she really liked him and kept saying how compatible they were. Then he turned around and told her he couldn't have a relationship with her because she clearly didn't have any respect for herself if she was willing to have sex on a first date. Absolutely brilliant😂

Aaaaah I wonder what happened to him.... 😂🤔

Every relationship I've ever had has started with sex including two marriages. I am very pro having sex as early as possible. You either have a good time and know it's worth pursuing a relationship, or you have a good time for it's own sake which doesn't turn into a relationship, or you don't have a good time and know not to bother pursuing a relationship. Any man who judges me for doing exactly what he did is not worth my time or attention.

Me too! Less “sleeping with someone on the first date” more “drunkenly shagging after meeting at a party and 15 years later we’re happily married with children.” Can’t say I felt cheap or desperate (thanks OP!), but I was definitely more interested in seeing him again once I knew we were physically compatible. And if having sex was going to make him “lose respect” for me I’d rather know that before I wasted any time getting to know him.

Each to their own.
In my experience of having friends that do both.
The ones that do are in their 30's and still single 🙄

Sex on first date, married six months later, just celebrated our 28th anniversary.

So we've basically established:

Men wanting sex = normal and healthy
Women wanting sex = cheap and desperate

😂

Good to know misogyny is still alive and well though 👌

Maybe they’re just lucky enough to realise at the culmination of date number one that the guy wasn’t that great in bed and call things off immediately, saving them a lot of wasted time and frustration in the future?

@ComtesseDeSpair
Who knows 🤷‍♀️
Anything is possible.
Could be a complete coincidence.

As I said, each to their own.

The ones that do are in their 30's and still single 🙄

So what?

I am not good at ONS but decided to have sex early on with my now DH. Because I wanted to know if we were compatible, I didn’t have time to mess around for ages and then find out we didn’t get on sexually 😄.
It went well. We were both chuffed.

I had this ‘cheap if you put out’ shit thrown at me all my youth. Grew up in a little Scandi Bible belt. It was fucking awful and messed people up no end. I am so pleased to read about those of you who never were made to feel that shame. Took me years to ditch it, and many crap decisions inbetween.

I never needed or wanted to 'get a man'.
When I was young and full of hormones I often wanted sex though.
Sometimes I liked them enough to have a relationship with them afterwards.

There's nothing wrong with it morally, but it's a good idea to work out if you genuinely like someone before you sleep with them.

Otherwise you'll have chemical/hormonal responses that might cloud matters and mean you waste your time and get confused, basically.

I was single for part of my 30s too. Because I wasn't willing to settle for someone who was selfish and / or shit in bed and who I didn't fancy. Nothing wrong with being single until you meet the right person.

I met DP in my late 30s, had an amazing one night stand with him and now I get to have sex with him every single night.

Your comment is extremely judgmental and snobbish.

I worked with a doctor who said they’d had sex on the first date and happily married 10 years on.

WTF 😂

Same for me, 2nd date, together 12 years, married 2 years ago. We still talk about that date!

I moved in on the second date with DH (and obviously slept with him too).

First date we went out for dinner and stayed out until 5 am. Then we met again after work at 5 pm and I never left.

That was 24 years ago.