Sleeping with someone on the first date

[LegalAlienated]

Has this ever developed into a relationship?
I’ve never done this myself, and I consider it ‘cheap’ or desperate to try to get a man. Am I right or is it a thing?
(Debate ongoing between my friend and I.)

This!

It's incredibly shocking to me that she has such insight.

I'm almost wondering if she's a religious counselor because I can't quite fathom her judgments any other way.

I look at it from a psychological perspective, case studies, scientific fact, real people, and my own standards.

using someone as an example of why I would never date people who treat sex casually is a tiny part of it….I had these views long before I met him, so your analysis doesn’t quite work out.

A tiny part of it? You’ve done nothing but talk about your ex for pages.

The guy was a lot older than me, he was punching above his weight, I liked what I thought was his personality and was then attracted to him. I did know the women, we moved in the same social circles, these women were dull, desperate and unnattractive, in their personalities and their looks. It was offensive to me, and put me right off him. A high quality man doesn’t fancy all and sundry, they are selective who they shag, it’s evolutionary, same for women. Studies have been done to that effect. It’s extremely off putting when you see someone that has everthing respond to desperation the way he did and woke me up to the fact that those women were not only more his level, but also his generation and that I could as he so often told me “do better”

With all due respect you've gone on and on about him and the women he hit on.

That or so called clients that confess their casual sex troubles to you while you judge them.

What kind of counselor are you?

The sad thing is that in many ways we were like two peas in a pod, we never ran out of things to talk about and were on the same page with 95% of things. Made each other laugh and had passion. He was very stupid and according to his own words cries himself to sleep every night thinking about it. I couldn’t care less if that’s true or not anymore. I’ve done my own tears over it, and the longer you’re away from someone like that; the more pathetic they seem! I’m sure he’s cried on the shoulders of Mrs M&S incontinece pants, and I’m sure she was salivating at the opportunity 🤣

Some men being dicks doesn’t mean my whole assessment is based on a man from my past being a dick, purely used as an example why promiscuous men aren’t worth a shot

People keep bringing it up,…I’ve no issue seeing that he taught me many lessons about shallow people. He’s a good example of what to avoid

It's takes a lot to offend me, but taking the piss out of older women's continence issues because your ex cheated with an older woman really turns my stomach.

I may be a syphilitic pox-ridden whore in your head, but you are not a nice person. And I know which I'd rather be.

Over and over and over again.

People don’t keep bringing it up at all. You’ve just posted twice more about him.

At length.

Bizarre.

I'm not understanding why their age and level of attractiveness matters?

My partner has dated all different women. I'm a former model but I don't think my looks are important to our relationship. Being attractive isn't a flex.

Some of my favourite women aren't necessarily societies vision of beautiful but my gosh these women are gorgeous. They shine with wit and intelligence and kindness.

I'm more attractive than my partner in terms of beauty standards but I'm the lucky one. He's a gem of a person.

It's odd your decent upbringing didn't teach you modesty and kindness.

Without those you aren't the catch you think you are. Physical beauty is meaningless. It's not something you earn.

I met my now H on an operational tour. Not many dating opportunities, although we did have NAAFI breaks together, although rarely just the two of us. Neither of us had room mates though so I went round to his to watch TV after work one evening. Not much on TV that night. That was that.
We had an official first date when we got back from tour, got engaged a few weeks later. Been together coming up 25 years now.

In my student days, I had plenty of casual flings. Friends who would go home with each other at the end of the night type things, no intention to actually have a relationship. In fact, the more I think about it, most of my relationships started with sex fairly early on and then we have decided if there was any more depth to it than physical pleasure.

I don't believe you but if that is in fact true so what? You'll be old too one day.

Sadly your youth and beauty seem to be the only things you offer and those things disappear.

I personally wouldn't but I don't care what anybody else does. It's not my business. I wouldn't date a man who slept with partners on a first date either, but thats my preference.

Except you have gone to great lengths to describe what a great catch you are and how pathetic and unattractive the other women are. In fact you have offered very little 'from a psychological perspective, case studies, scientific fact' but rather biased opinion via the lens of vitriol, bitterness and moral judgement.

To me it’s all waffle with no meaning behind it other than to engage others regardless of the outcome. Good or bad

You are obsessed with this man and it is incredibly sad. I hope you find some peace, because this isn’t normal and your anger and bitterness about this, combined with your hatred of any woman who might have been within 20 metres is him, is eating you up inside and making you extremely unhappy.

No it wasn’t.

Unless that was your ex’s fetish.

So sorry for your loss

It might well have been 🤣

I think not…

🥱