Partner moved in now wants to bring cat

[Alyssah2]

So my partner moved in about a month ago after living with his parents. He has a pet cat. He moved in without the cat and things were going really well. Now his parents and he is saying he has to bring his cat because it’s not his parents responsibility to look after his cat. However I didn’t agree to having his cat stay with us and I wanted a pet free home. I had no intention to have a pet cat and I thought he understood that after he moved in without it. Now they’re saying they come as a package and I have to let his cat in, which I really don’t want to do. I feel that since it’s my house that I bought as a solo homebuyer that I should surely get a say in who I allow into my home. What would you do?

I would say no.

I'd have had the conversation before he moved in!

Nothing really works. You don't want the cat, the parents don't want the cat. If he rehomes the cat he's a shit person so I wouldn't want him. He moves somewhere cat-friendly, you don't get to live together. Sometimes there is no right answer. Which is the least worst for you?

If I was him I'd find my own place with my cat.

Tell him no.

it’s dead in the water op

the relationship

so save yourself the time and bother and use as an opportunity to end it

Yeah, he needs to move somewhere with his cat.

Accept the cat on license for a month and re-evaluate. You may grow fond of him/her.

Or ask your BF to find cat friendly accommodation.

I suppose it depends how much of a deal breaker it is for you. You knew he had a cat when he moved in. Did you think the cat was just going to stay indefinitely at his parents even though it’s his cat? That was never very likely so I think you were a bit naive to not discuss it first. Unless of course he told the cat definitely wouldn’t be coming and he’s now changed his mind. I don’t blame the parents for not wanting it, it’s not their cat so why should they have the expense or responsibility.

Then he moves back with his parents.

bet he will soon change his mind about him and the cat being a package

2 things that stand out here;
1 - why wasn't this discussed before he moved in?
2 - it's my house. It's fine you feel that way, but that's not a great attitude to have when you want someone to live with you - it's supposed to be their home too....

I'd sack it all off now.

You can't just make someone abandon their pet! You knew he had a cat and you didn't want a pet, so why let him move in??

It would be pretty tough on the cat though, living somewhere it wasn’t wanted.

The only responsible thing the partner can do is find a new home for himself & the cat. Shelters are all full to the brim at the moment.

Is it his home now or is he a guest?

I let him move in because he is my baby’s father. He pretty much moved in by accident as he was just stopping over to support with our child and just sort of stayed.

Tell him he needs to go and live with his cat elsewhere. I love cats, but if you don't then living with one is a terrible idea.

Unless you and he are about 19, I wouldn't date a man incapable of housing himself. Not appealing. Living with his parents then expecting his girlfriend to house him and his pet? Yuck.

I'm not a cat owner, but isn't it usually considered to be a careful process to move house with a cat - especially if they are allowed outside? Not a decision to be taken lightly.

He has scammed you. He was never a proper single man. He has responsibilities and a commitment.. He lied. Send him back. . If he was genuine he would have discussed it before getting his feet under your table and his knob in your bed...

Poor cat. I'd be looking for somewhere else if I were him, you knew he had a cat, now the parents don't want it either, did he know you didn't want a pet in your home.

You can't just make someone abandon their pet!

Shes not making him do anything.

This is his problem to solve, keep saying you don’t want it living in your home.

Jeepers.
The cat is the least of your problems.

Team Cat.

Didn’t you talk about this beforehand? What was the original plan for the cat?

If he'd abandon a cat... just saying.

Christ, that was bit of a drip feed. 😳

Yes. The cat would have to stay inside for at least the first couple of weeks, & if the OP’s baby is mobile that’s a whole other problem.

This is not going to work.