Partner moved in now wants to bring cat

[Alyssah2]

So my partner moved in about a month ago after living with his parents. He has a pet cat. He moved in without the cat and things were going really well. Now his parents and he is saying he has to bring his cat because it’s not his parents responsibility to look after his cat. However I didn’t agree to having his cat stay with us and I wanted a pet free home. I had no intention to have a pet cat and I thought he understood that after he moved in without it. Now they’re saying they come as a package and I have to let his cat in, which I really don’t want to do. I feel that since it’s my house that I bought as a solo homebuyer that I should surely get a say in who I allow into my home. What would you do?

Your home, your rules.
No way would I do this.

@Alyssah2 Are you the one who posted a couple of weeks ago about the new boyf not showing up to meet your family? And then drip fed that he was actually your baby's father?

This all has a ring of familiarity to it.

If they come as a package he can go back to his parents.

He can’t insist on anything, it’s your home, just tell him to go

You have posted about this piss taker before I think?

He is taking you for an absolute mug. Tell him to fuck off back to his parents. Set up a formal contact schedule where he takes baby out, he doesn’t set foot into your home.

My final say is that he can stay but the cat stays at his parents, not with me. He won’t be contributing more financially as he said he’s not paying my mortgage unless his name is on the house, which I am not going to do

From your updates I'd move the cat IN and him OUT

Absolutely, they are a package - he goes back to his parents and the cat.

You didn’t plan to live together..I’m wondering after reading all the updates - did either of you plan the baby btw? Did you see him as father material?

It sounds as if you’re both really winging it with important decisions and there’s a lack of serious communication and planning 😬

I think you need to take a step back and consider your future a bit more carefully and the decisions you take which will affect not only you but your child.

So that £200 he gives you covers half the bills excluding the mortgage, all his food, and his contribution to his child's needs? Nappies, etc? Quite apart from the fact that he should be paying you rent.

Cocklodger. Get rid, immediately.

It should have been discussed properly before he moved in although sounds like he was evasive and planned this .

When I met my now DH he had got a puppy 7 months previously, I’m really allergic to dogs and also really scared of them plus have sensory issues due to the dog smell due to ASD. I told him from the outset I didn’t like dogs - I made it clear that if that was a deal breaker for him then so be it .

He is taking you for a mug.

The cat is a red herring in all this.

The problem is you are funding his (partner not the cat) board and lodging. He is paying 200 per month maintenance.

You need to give your head a wobble and woman-up to this freeloader

£200 doesn't cover baby costs let alone his share of bills, council tax and so on. Just tell him it's not working him staying with you and sending him back to mummy

That was a poster named Maisie - but if you are her OP, and have namechanged - pleeeeease run a mile from this man!

He needs to live somewhere else with his cat.

You had a baby with this man, without living with him, and not even realising he came with a cat. Jesus!

Jeez. £200 won’t rent you a room anywhere. It’s the equivalent of a token rent very young adults pay to their parents when they get their first job.

He needs to contribute more than £200 and you’re an absolute mug if you let him get away with this, cat or no cat.

Oh come on 🤣

All I'm hearing is .....he say he says.....

Its your house, you get to call the shots. Kick the fucker back to Mummy and call CSA

Effectively, you have another child. A man sized one.

OP, when you say he refused to leave, do you think you'd be happier without him there because it sounds a bit like you weren't given much of a choice?
I bet his parents were flipping delighted he was finally shifting out, and now they want to seal the deal with the exit of the cat...
Possibly followed by a rapid lock change?🤔
I agree with PP's, it's about more than the cat, it's about being railroaded into taking him in, never mind his pet.
When it comes to contributing, he doesn't sound that smashingly useful to be honest 😬

Why are you accepting this?

So @Alyssah2 he’s mooched his way in ‘accidentally’, didn’t mind leaving the cat and now does want the cat and his parents agree? No. Chuck him out and take the £200 maintenance without having him and his aggro. Otherwise this is the first step in them controlling you. Red flags all over.

So that £200 he gives you covers half the bills excluding the mortgage, all his food, and his contribution to his child's needs? Nappies, etc?

It’s absurd, struggling to understand why Op tolerates any of it. The cat is just the final straw if anything but not the main or only issue.

I get wanting the father of your child to be part of your household but it should be mutually beneficial. Accepting such unfavourable conditions to keep a man is akin to bribing a man to stay with you.

A lot of women need to have more self-esteem. It’s very sad.

Come on. That £200 was for the child surely? Not him and the child? You’re better of financially without him there. He doesn’t have to pay ‘the mortgage’, it’s called RENT because having a home is not free unfortunately

Absolutely not. If £200 is his CM then what exactly is he contributing to his cost of living. Him being there means you'll pay extra in council tax, water, gas, electric, food shopping. You will also lose benefits if you receive any. Him being there literally only cost you money. All his is contributing is being a parent to his child which he should do regardless. Your current arrangement is literally taking food out of your kids belly. No one gets to live for free. Send this man child home to mummy and daddy.