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Original poster

Partner moved in now wants to bring cat

598 replies

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 16:43

So my partner moved in about a month ago after living with his parents. He has a pet cat. He moved in without the cat and things were going really well. Now his parents and he is saying he has to bring his cat because it’s not his parents responsibility to look after his cat. However I didn’t agree to having his cat stay with us and I wanted a pet free home. I had no intention to have a pet cat and I thought he understood that after he moved in without it. Now they’re saying they come as a package and I have to let his cat in, which I really don’t want to do. I feel that since it’s my house that I bought as a solo homebuyer that I should surely get a say in who I allow into my home. What would you do?

OP posts:
Dearg · 26/08/2024 17:06

So he doesn’t pull his weight, he doesn’t pay his way, he barely pays child support, and you don’t seem that fond of him. Is that right ?

Then his trump card is that he wants to add a cat in.
Just bin him and pursue child support.

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/08/2024 17:09

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 17:03

No he’s not pulling his weight financially. I pay over a grand in bills and mortgage, he’s paying 200 which is what he paid in child maintenance whilst we were separated.

So he's a shit father, feckless partner, terrible roommate and a crap pet-owner.

He wants you to be his mummy. With sex.

Kick him out and build a life. Get a cat if you want one.

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 26/08/2024 17:09

Have you posted about this prince before?

MrTiddlesTheCat · 26/08/2024 17:10

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 17:03

No he’s not pulling his weight financially. I pay over a grand in bills and mortgage, he’s paying 200 which is what he paid in child maintenance whilst we were separated.

Bloody hell OP, he's properly taking the piss out of you. What does he actually bring to the table? Nothing. Send him back to his mummy and then ask yourself why you've set your bar so low.

Iamthemoom · 26/08/2024 17:10

Hate to say it but... If he's a cat lover and you're not it's unlikely the relationship will work out anyway. Cat lovers aren't compatible with non cat lovers! And your failure to understand he needs his cat with him proves this. Anyone who didn't love my cats wouldn't be getting my love!

ShuviToopya · 26/08/2024 17:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

BeyondOlympicLevelProcrastinator · 26/08/2024 17:10

Nope. Fuck him off - he's a manbaby who doesn't pull his weight, moved in by stealth (from with his parents), and now he is foisting a pet on you that you don't want?

Not a chance. Get rid.

ActualChips · 26/08/2024 17:11

@JC03745 correct, not just is he a boyfriend (zero legal status) he's a parasite and an embarrassment.

nocoolnamesleft · 26/08/2024 17:12

Take the cat, dump the cock lodger.

MounjaroUser · 26/08/2024 17:12

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 16:56

Read my update: there was no conversation about him moving in. He was stopping over helping me looking after our child as we were co parenting. Our relationship developed again whilst he stayed over and he hasn’t moved since and insists on staying and bringing his cat

For heaven's sake, don't let him make all these decisions!

This is your home. He moved in by stealth. His parents will be glad to see the back of him and want him to take his cat with him.

NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

Timeforaglassofwine · 26/08/2024 17:13

Oh my goodness, he is giving you £200 a month to support him, the baby and his parents are saying the cat is part of the package? I think the cocklodger needs to go.

buttonsB4 · 26/08/2024 17:13

Having read your latest update, he definitely needs to move out.

£200 for rent, bills, food and CMS???

That's a complete piss take, you'll have more money if he doesn't live with you, he's supposed to make your life better, not worse 🙄

Iamthemoom · 26/08/2024 17:13

Iamthemoom · 26/08/2024 17:10

Hate to say it but... If he's a cat lover and you're not it's unlikely the relationship will work out anyway. Cat lovers aren't compatible with non cat lovers! And your failure to understand he needs his cat with him proves this. Anyone who didn't love my cats wouldn't be getting my love!

Just to add having read since I posted that he's not pulling his weight financially, get rid of him! He can find accommodation with his cat elsewhere!

Chewbecca · 26/08/2024 17:13

I think you need to decide whether you want a live in relationship with this man or not and determine from there how much compromise you are prepared to make and have an adult conversation about how the pair of you will make things work or otherwise.

mrsm43s · 26/08/2024 17:14

I think it's right that he and the cat come as a package.

So either he and the cat both stay, or he and the cat both leave. I know which one I'd choose!

EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 26/08/2024 17:14

Iamthemoom · 26/08/2024 17:10

Hate to say it but... If he's a cat lover and you're not it's unlikely the relationship will work out anyway. Cat lovers aren't compatible with non cat lovers! And your failure to understand he needs his cat with him proves this. Anyone who didn't love my cats wouldn't be getting my love!

True… but from everything the OP’s said, I expect she’d end up buying the cat food, keeping the cat & baby apart & cleaning the litter tray.

VimtoVimto · 26/08/2024 17:15

Perhaps let the cat stay for and additionally £500 per month.

BeaRF75 · 26/08/2024 17:16

I'd definitely be saying no.
But then I can't imagine having a relationship with a cat-lover in the first place, tbh 😂

TomatoSandwiches · 26/08/2024 17:16

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 17:03

No he’s not pulling his weight financially. I pay over a grand in bills and mortgage, he’s paying 200 which is what he paid in child maintenance whilst we were separated.

He can insist all he likes, this is your house, get rid of him.

PaminaMozart · 26/08/2024 17:16

Oh dear. After your various updates I am concerned about both your baby and his cat.

What's your actual plan - do you even have one?

Singleandproud · 26/08/2024 17:16

If you didn't have a baby with him, would you still be in a relationship with him?

You end the relationship as he is a cocklodger, he grows up and houses himself, the cat and provides a second home for his child. You can coparent outside of the home instead of him moving himself in. Him moving in with no discussion is not on. You have a discussion with him that this situation is not working and that he needs to move out. Child will be available for him X and Y day between 09:00 - 14:00 and you'll see him then.

LostittoBostik · 26/08/2024 17:17

It's your house; say no.

Be aware this might be the end of the relationship if he's a very dedicated cat person. But if he's saying they "come as a package" and you're strongly against (unless you have a mitigating circumstance such as allergy) maybe you're not compatible long term.

romdowa · 26/08/2024 17:17

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 17:03

No he’s not pulling his weight financially. I pay over a grand in bills and mortgage, he’s paying 200 which is what he paid in child maintenance whilst we were separated.

Send him back to his parents

Heartofglass12345 · 26/08/2024 17:18

I think you should accept the cat, then get another cat Grin

K0OLA1D · 26/08/2024 17:18

It would be a deal breaker for me. I'd find my own place with my cats!