What harsh words from others have stuck with you for life?

[blackbutterfly22]

''You really aren't very photogenic, are you?' (Said by my ex husband about 25 years ago and still haunts me to this day when someone takes my photo).

'You'll never find anyone again' . (Said when I got divorced 8 years ago and I truly now believe that there is something wrong with me as despite dating lots, no one seems to want to be my special person.)

Anyone have comments from others that keep rearing their heads throughout life?

A friend of my parents one evening, when I was around 7/8 years old. We had as a family gone for food woth some other families. I was upset, although I can't remember why. My parents friend took me to the bathroom and told me ' you always ruin everything for your parents, stop it'.
It's never left me. I still feel like I was never good enough.

Said by my aunt to my Mum....'the idea of wrinkley going to university is preposterous'. She wrote it in a letter which I found on the death on my Mum 42 years ago. I got a 2:1 in widely regarded 'difficult' science subject, but still feel like an imposter as I shouldn't have been 'allowed' to go.

Around 20 years ago my sister came to my work place and met my colleagues. One of them said to me ‘I was always the plain one with my sister too’ 🥲

My first baby, premature emergency caesarean, six months after the sudden death of my father, baby colicky due to being so small, infected caesarean scar that even the GP balked at, my 'caring' husband told me I was just using him as my meal ticket.

A few years ago my mum had quite randomly re connected with an old friend that she hadn't seen for over 30 years, and had invited me, DH and DS1 who at the time was a baby, to lunch with this lady. I must admit I immediately didn't particularly like the woman, there was a strange stealth hostility about her, she came across quite bitter. At one point she asked my age and I told her - 35. "Oh my, now that IS old" she replied, really emphasising the words. It's always stuck with me and I'm even older now but feel really conscious of my age and what people might think if I tell them.

My mum when I was a lot younger around 17 said I had legs like Max Wall , I'm 60 now and have always hated my legs since .
Another one was my ex telling me i couldn't sing , I used to sing in a choir, so I didn't sing after that as I believed him , he told me years later he was only joking but I took it to heart and lost all confidence in my voice .

I have had horrible things said to me, but have taken none of them to heart, since they weren't true. Otoh, if someone politely gives me criticism that is warranted, I'm grateful because I know that's something I should work on.
Cruel words from people I like can hurt because it proves those people don't care as much about me as I thought they did and because it pains me to see people be needlessly cruel in general. It's not because I take their bullshit on board.
Also, cutting comments about shallow things like status or looks reveal more about the person saying them than they do about you. I don't value those things so it's nothing to me.

I do understand why other people feel differently about this though.

Virtually everything my controlling, narcissistic mother said to me.

"I hope you fail miserably on your own" when I decided to leave a marriage where I was taken for granted

Oh no! You really should start singing again if it gives you joy, because isn't that what choir is about? It's not really about technical skill so much, is it.
My mom was not a technically skilled singer, but she sang in a professional choir for many years. She loved it, and that was what made it most beautiful to hear. She was never going to be a soloist, but she wasn't bothered by that.

Any chance she meant it in the sense of wow - she's that age already?!?!

Oof! That is vile. So sorry.

'You have legs like buttress roots' (when I was 12)

"It's a shame your top half isn't matched by skinny legs, you'd be a top model' (age 16, size 6/8)

'Just as well you have a pretty face, shame you're chunky' (age 23, weighing 8 stone 9)

Now fully middle aged and actually fat and realise looking back it was pure jealousy' I"m actually angry now that I let these comments waste the best years of my life hiding in drab oversized clothes to hide my 'huge' size 8 body.

Hoping history doesn't repeat itself. Some arsehole told my 6 stone daughter she was fat only yesterday. She is about as far away from fat as you can get. What's wrong with people!

“… will never make anything of herself because she never speaks up for herself” my mother talking about me to a friend while I stood within earshot aged around 8-9.

I was in a children’s’ home when I was 4. I was getting very silly (probably) in the car with two of the aunties in charge of me. One of the ‘aunties’ said, “ Easip .. you take a joke too far.” It’s nothing really but I’m nearly 54 so it must have really stung to be one of my few early memories. I hate to be embarrassed, really hate it, so it must have made me feel really ashamed of myself.
I was in another children’s home in my teens. The woman in charge told me I’d have been a prostitute if they hadn’t taken me in. I remember being flabbergasted , shocked and a general feeling of being falsely accused because at the point she said that, it couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Dm rang me to say my db had not received a wedding invite from family member.
I told her that I didn’t have an invite either.
Dm - ‘Well nobody likes you.’

That wasn’t even the worst.

I liked singing when I was little but my mother (who fancied herself as a singer) wouldn't let me enter the local music festival because "I was a toneless little bitch"

After a break up with someone I thought I saw a future with, I was very young though. Found out he actually had a fiancé. I broke it off and he from there on ignored me mostly (we worked together) apart from him calling my house and me hanging up. the night before his wedding I saw him in a nightclub and drunkenly approached him, asked him why he didn't like me (idiot that I am) and his response was the worst out down I e ever had and it has NEVER left me, he said "I don't NOT like you, I'm completely indifferent to you". I was crushed. I was only 23 at the time and now I'm 49

I’m shocked, Some people are evil.

Not me but my mum, whose mother very unhelpfully dubbed her the clever one and her sister the pretty one and neither ever forgot it.

What on earth possessed her to be so cruel?

@Tattyhabits how horrible for you. Please tell me you aren't still with him x

I over heard my mum say to my dad that I'd never go to uni like my sister.

I felt like shit for a few minutes then thought hey I'm 16, I could be the prime minster yet! I did get my degree, a 5 bed detached house. Anyone who's says 'you will never...' is a personal challenge now,and I do. I always do. It's like a red flag to a bull.

But I always feel stupid and have imposter syndrome

What on earth possessed her to be so cruel?

She was a vile, horrible woman and my sister and I have never thought of shedding a tear for her. I don't know why she had us as she showed us no affection and nothing we ever did was ever good enough.

‘You’d be pretty if it wasn’t for your big nose’

said to me when I was 17.

Shallow maybe to have remembered that, but at 17 things like that hurt.

"none of my children look like me unfortunately" said by my conventionaly beautiful mother.

"You don't look anything like your beautiful mum" said by my friend.

" Free spirit had a massive hooter (nose) " said by a work colleague.

"You would be much prettier if your lips were thinner" said by friend and sister in law.

"She didn't get a figure like that by eating small portions " said by work colleague.

"You have too many things wrong with you " a school friend referring to my unconventional looks.

"Your hips are too wide and your shoulders are too narrow" said by my mother in law