Found condoms - is it ever innocent?

[MissisK]

I found a box of unopened condoms in DH’s draw. We don’t use them and haven’t for literally years. Is there ever an innocent reason for him having them?

I don’t want to jump to conclusions but we’ve had a rocky marriage and lack of intimacy for years.

Why would he put them in his drawer when he knows I put the washing away and could quite likely find them. I will speak to him but need to get my head straight.

Thank you all. I am going to ask him but I know it’ll be more of the same. I need to be in the headspace where I don’t get emotionally guilted into giving yet another chance. I am questioning absolutely everything. And despite all the flags, I am struggling with feeling that I may be wrong about this. And even as I type this, I know all the signs are there but I am so worried about being wrong. That may sound ridiculous given the evidence but I need the mental strength to know that leaving is the right thing before I decide to tear our family apart :(

@MissisK it's not you tearing your family apart. Your H has already done that by pulling back from the relationship, has condoms in his drawer where you would find them and now two are missing. This is all on him.

💐

@Fannyfiggs is right, he's the one tearing your family apart. He left them where he knew you'd find them and knows you know about them, so he knows you'll see that some are gone. Either he's a complete idiot or he's trying to get you to end the relationship so it's not 'his choice'. Either way he's a massive bell end and he's taking the absolute piss. By the sounds of it he's probably only hung around this long for financial reasons. Get rid - you can do this!

Just found the missing condoms in his car, unused. Head is racing as to why he’s driving round with condoms in his car. He’s at work until late but I’m going to ask him what’s going on tomorrow.

Come on OP.

Don't let this man turn you into a woman searching for and counting condoms.

None of the reasons he has those condoms in the car are good news for you. Even if he’s just doing it to hurt you.

Start planning to move on from him. Better things await you OP. Get ready to go and get them. This does not have to be your life.

💐

@MissisK Head is racing as to why he’s driving round with condoms in his car.

Sorry OP, I think there’s only one reason why they would be on his car.

There are 2 explanations. 1. He is messing with your head on purpose. 2. He is cheating or looking to cheat. And as a bonus he is lying either way. You have also mentioned signs and red flags, which presumably are in addition to the condoms.

before I decide to tear our family apart
Where are you getting this logic from? If you cheated on him do you really think that he would be the one tearing the family apart if he left you?? He is the one tearing your family apart with his behaviour.

@MissisK I'd be prepared for him to try and get you to move out as you're ending things. This has manipulative CF written all over it!

My head is well and truly out of the sand. I won’t be taking the excuses.

@MissisK i take it you’ve probably finally got the truth or near to it, Hope you are ok x

This is not good,I feel you may have a world of hurt coming your way,sending hugs x

@MissisK did you ask him about the condoms?

What happened in the end? Did you talk to him about the condoms?

How's things OP?

Checking in OP, how are you?

@MissisK Just caught up with this thread again since summer, hope you're OK op. Whatever the result is. X