Are there any good men left?

[TeamCurlies]

I'm in my late thirties, two children and 2 years post divorce. I'm ready to find love again.

I'm on two dating sites and I've been on one date in the last 6 months and all I see is red flags everywhere.

I can't help feeling that first marriages for most men have failed for a reason. I know you could say the same for women but it's well known and experienced that most marriages fail because of men. I can't imagine there are many men my age yet to commit for the first time?

Looking around at my friends, the ones in happy marriages are generally with Christian men who have strong moral and family values and take their marriage vows seriously. I am not a Christian.

I went on a date with one man who was still bitter with his ex wife 5 years post divorce which I felt was a major red flag.

I feel like I've missed the boat.
My ex was a disappointing choice from the beginning I now realise.
What is the likely background for a good man who might make a good husband at my age? I can't imagine that many men are wanting to commit for the first time? Has anyone found a good man post divorce at my age? Where might I find one?! Surely if they were a good family man, their wives would have kept them in the first place?!

Maybe I'm just being cynical but I'd love some advice!

There will be a bunch that made mistakes but are very much worth getting to know. A family member is mid 30s, married young and separated reasonably recently, has a young child. He will be a catch once he gets through the divorce and establishing stability, he grew up very fast the past year or so having to maintain stability for their child and try to support his wife. He might be a bit bitter to be fair, but that’s understandable in his case.

@Codlingmoths I am sure there are many like him. Thanks.

I've had this response so many times. It's demeaning and definitely not helpful!
It is a remark usually said by smug people who think being widowed or divorced is something that would never happen to them so I've stopped discussing it with them.

I had a friend go through a marriage break-up and warned them to ignore "wise words" from most married people. They are story making about why it could never happen with them. Typically, those most happy to pontificate wisdom on marriage have the most long suffering spouses.

My "favourite" is "I'm so glad I no longer have to date/met my husband before OLD".

In other words, "I'm glad I don't have your shitty life. So happy that unlike you, I married someone decent, and am a real catch myself, so will never date again. Go me."

Found My DH in his late 30s. Divorced because she’d had an affair. Took him years to get over it and be ready for a committed relationship again. I guess it’s a timing/luck thing as if I had met him a few years earlier he just wouldn’t have been ready

And yet you know that if they did end up splitting that ‘my Nigel’ would be on Tinder and sending dick pics faster than Usain Bolt

Absolute nonsense. Lesbian marriages have by far the highest divorce rates. Gay marriages by far the lowest.

The obvious conclusion is clear. Most of my friends initiated the divorce from their men. I found that women are far less tolerant of minor behaviours than men are. Modern women are often intolerant which clearly explains the difference on divorce rates between gay men and lesbian women.

Some women are too self obsessed and modern life thinking they should be the centre of the title. Obviously with two women both cannot be. Lol

Lesbian women have the highest divorce rates. Gay men the kowesr. I really think many women today including many of my friends have unrealistic expectations of marriage and solely focus on their own needs rather than their partners.

This explains the highest divorce rate amongst lesbians where two women are involved.

also be realistic - you have 2 young children and only divorced two years ago. Yet expect Prince Charming to come in and take all that on?

Think- what do you have to offer him?

Realism seems to have escaped modern women.