Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he cheating

544 replies

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:27

Is he cheating?

My partner (M50) has been acting weird towards me (F37) for a while. Sex hasn’t been as frequent. He goes between being lovely to acting like he doesn’t want me around and snapping with me.

A couple of weeks ago I found viagra in a suitcase he uses when we travel or he goes away for work trips. There was only 1 left in the pack of 8. I questioned him on this and he blew up claiming he uses them for me when he has had a few drinks and can’t preform. I cannot think of one occasion when he has been drunk where he could have taken them and if he did it didn’t work!

I chose to rug sweep thinking maybe he was telling the truth or I was mistaken. Last week he was being super off with me didn’t want me around. He told me Thursday night he was having an early night and said he would speak to me the next day. When I woke to message him in the morning he had been online at 3.13am although he had told me he was sleeping by 10pm. When I asked if he slept well he said he went straight to sleep after he said goodnight.

I went to his house the next morning and all of my possessions were “hidden” in the spare room with the door closed. Shoes, clothes everything. He said he was tidying my mess and not to over think. I then seen 2 bottles of wine, a bottle of Prosecco (which he doesn’t drink) and several beers in his bin. It’s making me question is he cheating? I never mentioned the drinks I did ask again if he slept well or if he had been up late and he was adamant he went straight to sleep.

Has he been taking the viagra for someone else? Hiding my belongings when someone else is coming over to stay up drinking with him all night??

I will add he has previous for EA/possible kiss/seeking validation which I discovered by snooping a few months back and he promised he would never hurt me this way again. I’m so confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Aquamarine1029 · 17/06/2024 18:29

Of course he's cheating on you. You know he is. Even if he weren't, (he is), you should dump him immediately for the horrible way he's been treating you.

ManilowBarry · 17/06/2024 18:30

Yes he's cheating.

TakeOnFlea · 17/06/2024 18:31

Yes. Obviously. He's not even trying to hide it

Alllllthemunchies · 17/06/2024 18:32

Yes without a doubt. Get yourself out of this now.

IDontFeelItAnymore · 17/06/2024 18:32

I don't know why you're confused, he is stone cold 100% cheating on you. I'm really sorry but he doesn't even really care to hide it.

cushionstar · 17/06/2024 18:33

How long have u been together & do you have children ? X

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:34

Right now I feel stupid. I think I’ve been conditioned to accept his excuses and it’s made me doubt my own reality.

after the previous EA situation he done nothing to reassure me and basically told me to get over it. Changed all his passwords on his devices so I wouldn’t see anything again.

the pills I was made feel guilty as he was “embarrassed” he needed them and I was making him feel less of a man and wasn’t to bring it up again.

OP posts:
Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:35

cushionstar · 17/06/2024 18:33

How long have u been together & do you have children ? X

We have been together for almost a decade. I briefly split with him in 2020 as he wasn’t treating me correctly. But we got back together.

no children, he has 2 adult children who I am close to

OP posts:
rupsky · 17/06/2024 18:36

100% cheating! Horrible old man.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/06/2024 18:36

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:35

We have been together for almost a decade. I briefly split with him in 2020 as he wasn’t treating me correctly. But we got back together.

no children, he has 2 adult children who I am close to

You don't live together, correct?

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:38

Aquamarine1029 · 17/06/2024 18:36

You don't live together, correct?

No we don’t live together. When we first got together he said we would eventually. It’s never happened. I stay there a few nights a week and do all the household stuff and maintain his gardens etc as well as my own home and work full time

OP posts:
SamW98 · 17/06/2024 18:38

He’s a lying cheating piece of shit who will continue living this way because that’s who he is.

You don’t have children or live together so get out asap and don’t look back. Hes a sad old man thinking he’s all that.

cushionstar · 17/06/2024 18:39

Ok no house togther no kids easier said than done but he's defo cheating I'm sorry and u can do better c

NoChanceNoWay · 17/06/2024 18:40

OP, you are basically a free maid/housekeeper. Go, pick up your stuff and never ever look back.

Focus on yourself and be happy without him. You deserve better than this.

IDontFeelItAnymore · 17/06/2024 18:40

rupsky · 17/06/2024 18:36

100% cheating! Horrible old man.

Old? He's 50.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/06/2024 18:41

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:38

No we don’t live together. When we first got together he said we would eventually. It’s never happened. I stay there a few nights a week and do all the household stuff and maintain his gardens etc as well as my own home and work full time

Lucky for you. It's far easier to dump his sorry arse. Tell him it's over and block the cheating prick. Honestly, op, move on. How much more of your life do you want to waste on this horrible man? He is playing you for an absolute fool.

Sue152 · 17/06/2024 18:42

He sounds like a very horrible cheat OP, shame you ever got back with him. Dump him but don't tell him the genuine reasons as he will just lie and gas light you until you don't know up from down. Just make up something spurious and don't have him back again. Ever.

FrenchandSaunders · 17/06/2024 18:42

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:38

No we don’t live together. When we first got together he said we would eventually. It’s never happened. I stay there a few nights a week and do all the household stuff and maintain his gardens etc as well as my own home and work full time

Read this back OP … he’s taking you for a mug. Get rid.

SillyLemonZebra · 17/06/2024 18:42

IDontFeelItAnymore · 17/06/2024 18:40

Old? He's 50.

He’s older than her I think is what was meant. A couple more years and he could be her Dad. I think that was what was being expressed.

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:44

Aquamarine1029 · 17/06/2024 18:41

Lucky for you. It's far easier to dump his sorry arse. Tell him it's over and block the cheating prick. Honestly, op, move on. How much more of your life do you want to waste on this horrible man? He is playing you for an absolute fool.

He is away for work this week. I have taken time off and been in his home minding his grandkids so his daughter can work. I am thinking if I can work up the courage I can empty my things wen he’s gone. i feel like such a failure

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 17/06/2024 18:45

rupsky · 17/06/2024 18:36

100% cheating! Horrible old man.

He’s not old.

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:46

Berlinlover · 17/06/2024 18:45

He’s not old.

We don’t need to go down the how old is old conversation. He’s older than me but that’s not wot the post is about

OP posts:
Elasticatedtrousers · 17/06/2024 18:47

Sweetheart why, just why are you with this jerk?

He’s a cheat, a time waster, a liar, a manipulator, a user and I’d argue abusive to boot.

Seriously you’ve wasted enough time with this prat.

You. Deserve. Better.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/06/2024 18:51

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:44

He is away for work this week. I have taken time off and been in his home minding his grandkids so his daughter can work. I am thinking if I can work up the courage I can empty my things wen he’s gone. i feel like such a failure

Call his daughter to come fetch her kids, get your things and leave his home, right now. His daughter can mind her own children. For fuck's sake, op, stop being this man's doormat and skivvy. You don't owe him anything. Walk away, right now.

Fontainebleau007 · 17/06/2024 18:52

Yes he's cheating