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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he cheating

544 replies

Lostandconfus3d · 17/06/2024 18:27

Is he cheating?

My partner (M50) has been acting weird towards me (F37) for a while. Sex hasn’t been as frequent. He goes between being lovely to acting like he doesn’t want me around and snapping with me.

A couple of weeks ago I found viagra in a suitcase he uses when we travel or he goes away for work trips. There was only 1 left in the pack of 8. I questioned him on this and he blew up claiming he uses them for me when he has had a few drinks and can’t preform. I cannot think of one occasion when he has been drunk where he could have taken them and if he did it didn’t work!

I chose to rug sweep thinking maybe he was telling the truth or I was mistaken. Last week he was being super off with me didn’t want me around. He told me Thursday night he was having an early night and said he would speak to me the next day. When I woke to message him in the morning he had been online at 3.13am although he had told me he was sleeping by 10pm. When I asked if he slept well he said he went straight to sleep after he said goodnight.

I went to his house the next morning and all of my possessions were “hidden” in the spare room with the door closed. Shoes, clothes everything. He said he was tidying my mess and not to over think. I then seen 2 bottles of wine, a bottle of Prosecco (which he doesn’t drink) and several beers in his bin. It’s making me question is he cheating? I never mentioned the drinks I did ask again if he slept well or if he had been up late and he was adamant he went straight to sleep.

Has he been taking the viagra for someone else? Hiding my belongings when someone else is coming over to stay up drinking with him all night??

I will add he has previous for EA/possible kiss/seeking validation which I discovered by snooping a few months back and he promised he would never hurt me this way again. I’m so confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Elasticatedtrousers · 25/08/2024 20:09

He is absolutely beautiful and I am NOT a car person so this is a huge compliment.

He will help you heal, and I love his name!

Tiredofallthis101 · 25/08/2024 20:50

Awwww super cute! A reliable man hopefully. In his own cat way.

DollyBelle · 27/08/2024 19:05

How are you doing today @Lostandconfus3d ? X

NZDreaming · 02/10/2024 00:37

@Lostandconfus3d hope you and Sidney are doing well. Cars are so funny, my current foster kitty just got into an argument with a hairbrush she didn’t like the look of! I hope your time off work was beneficial and life is feeling a bit calmer.

Lostandconfus3d · 10/10/2024 16:58

Had court yesterday. The case got flung out of court before trial. His lawyer found a loop hole in some paperwork the police didn’t handle correctly. Maybe for the best, I was a nervous wreck at the thought of taking the stand

OP posts:
BluebellsareBlue · 10/10/2024 17:51

I've been following along quietly in the background and you have done so well and been so strong. You should be proud of yourself.

Now there is nothing hanging over you regarding him, he is a nothing, he doesn't exist. Now go on and live your best life x

DollyBelle · 10/10/2024 18:12

Have been wondering how you are? How are you bring on?

momtoboys · 10/10/2024 20:30

I have been thinking about you. I am so happy you have your kitten. He is so cute. Animals can bring so much comfort. I hope you are well and now that the court is out of the way maybe it will bring you some peace. I wish him fire ants in his britches.

NZDreaming · 10/10/2024 22:14

@Lostandconfus3d it must be frustrating for him to not face any repercussions but at least you no longer have to think about him. I hope you are able to move forward, focusing on what is best for you and your future. Take care

Greenhedge1 · 10/10/2024 23:10

OP, please look at a move for Sid and yourself, a fresh start.
You deserve only the best.

AcrossthePond55 · 11/10/2024 15:55

@Lostandconfus3d

Well, that's sucks. I know you were worried about testifying, but it sucks all the same.

Just take a deep breath and think 'onwards and upwards' from now on. I do agree with a PP, have you considered moving. Even if all you do is move across town it will still be a fresh start and he won't know where you are.

NZDreaming · 09/12/2024 20:16

@Lostandconfus3d hope you and Sidney are keeping well. Hopefully he hasn’t climbed the Christmas tree!

CuppaTea23 · 10/12/2024 09:55

Yes I think of you sometimes @Lostandconfus3d and hope you embraced some new hobbies and connecting with old friends!

Lostandconfus3d · 19/12/2024 02:05

Thanks for checking in

OP posts:
StopInhalingRevels · 19/12/2024 07:55

Hi @Lostandconfus3d

How are you!!

Lostandconfus3d · 19/12/2024 08:07

I’m doing ok. I have my good days and bad. Feeling a bit down in the run up to Xmas, but this is normal as this is when my dad passed and I don’t really have anyone around me. But generally I’m better

OP posts:
Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 19/12/2024 09:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

NZDreaming · 19/12/2024 09:23

@Lostandconfus3d Christmas is a challenging time for a lot of people for all sorts of reasons. I’m sure your Dad would be thrilled to know you are away from that awful man and moving forward. In fact it’s exactly 6 months since you took the decision to put yourself first and embark on this new phase of life. You’ve come so far since then and should be very proud of yourself. Maybe 2025 will be the year of making new connections.

DollyBelle · 19/12/2024 09:36

How’s your lovely cat doing @Lostandconfus3d ?

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