Have men become more...repressed (dating?)

[Pinkbonbon]

OK this is a weird one but has anyone else noticed a shift where men are not kissing till like 3 dates in now?

And, last time I dated I also noticed, basic polite compliments of 'you look nice' seemed to have vanished too (que paranoia xD).

It just seems so different from a decade ago. Maybe because I'm getting older. But I also wondered if it's just because times have changed.

I'm finding IM the one who wants to be tactile on dates now but worried about freaking THEM out.

Like I think because I've been approaching things in the manner of just wanting to go out, do a little drinks and a bit of snogging and see where things go. I'm not just looking for short term but, I'd like to sample a little, see if there's good chemistry.

But it's like men have become repressed!
Either that or I've become scary xD
Just wondered if anyone else was noticing similar.

It comes from YouTube. Incels are telling young men that feminists will do this and that.

At the same time, the ten percent of men who are rapey fuckers are still being rapey fuckers.

62% of female students suffer a sexual assault at U.K. universities. 7% of those are serious. If male students come out of university thinking it’s common to be accused of sexual assault, this is because it’s common at university for sexual assaults to occur.

When they do occur, very little happens to the perpetrator. I’d imagine the effects in the victims are probably at least as severe as the effects in the men accused. I’d also imagine that whatever these perpetrators tell their mates, very few of the accusations are really made up.

The vibe from some on this thread seems to be that the worst thing about rape and sexual assault, is how women complaining about it impacts the poor menz. 🙄

Why can’t men just improve their social skills, learn to read body language, learn suitable compliments all without accidentally raping someone, just like women do? We’re not asking men for anything above what women seem to manage.

That’s rather a simplistic view, given that regardless of her lack of social skills or inability to read body language it is difficult/impossible for a woman to rape a man, accidentally or otherwise.

Why can’t they? Are there swaths of men in prison for telling a woman she looks nice?

Are you saying that it’s possible for a man to accidentally rape a woman because he has poor social skills?

This thread:

"Why are men reticent around dating?"

"Well it could be this, this and this reason."

"No, those reasons are all wrong. Men should just know exactly how women want them to behave in any given circumstance and conform to that."

Do you actually want to improve the chances of men and women having successful dating experiences or do you just want to tell men they're wrong?

Are you serious?! So then by that logic, there should be just as many women sexually assaulting men and being inappropriate creeps, because we’re just as capable as men of that, and yet, we don’t, not anywhere even close to the same numbers of men. So why do men struggle with this so much?

Is it just on women to improve it then? Because we actually seem to be doing ok in terms of reading body language, social skills, compliments and not assaulting anyone, so maybe it’s men who need to pick up their game a bit, or is that asking too much of them?

No, Naunet was saying that.

Men are raping women.

Women are saying “This man raped me.” Often they are not going to the authorities, because let’s face it, what’s the point?

Accused man then says, “No I didn’t.”

Man’s friends then believe friend and get the idea that you can’t do anything without being accused of rape by the evil wimminses.

Me Too was about women telling men that this stuff happens. That you need to believe us. Me Too was NOT about women accusing men of being horrible when they were really just behaving like regular decent men.

I didn’t get that from Naunet’s posts.

Sorry, I read back and I can see she said it, but in a ironic tone.

Absolutely this ^^ everything is the fault of men, no matter what it is,
how can that be ?

the truth is women want men to behave one way in one circumstance and another way in another given circumstance and somehow use magic to decipher that
or they like telling men that they are constantly wrong ( which is probably more clearly the case) and then going on the internet and complaining about it

“eye contact, she's playfully touching your arm or chest .. ..”

I find that very Interesting @Pinkbonbon . She’s”playful” if she’s touching his arm or chest. Vice versa, some people would cry assault.

So glad I’m not young!

Touching a man’s chest is is hardly equivalent to touching a woman’s breasts, is it?

Who exactly cries assault if someone touches their arm on a date?

Exactly.

Can the incels on this thread kindly fuck off.
You're so bloody obvious.

Just sod off with your bullshit about basic flirting being rape accusation territory.

Men and women do read body language differently though, I’ve had boyfriends who I had no idea they fancied me & vice versa. I’m not sure you can put all the blame on men so from their pov it’s wiser to ignore the language & ask.

Of course misreading the signals & going for a kiss wouldn’t lead to an accusation in 99.9% of cases but it’s still embarrassing & I imagine many young men just don’t want any association with acting pushy etc

The OP made the point that women often dress up & make an effort to look nice & keep to their side so men should do more of the chasing but if you’re meeting someone for the first time you don’t necessarily know that that isn’t their usual style & many women don’t dress for men but other women anyway

Why not ? , surely an unwanted touch is an unwanted touch no matter ?

or does equality only work one way these days

I absolutely would, well I might not cry assault. I don’t want anyone touching me without making it clear what they’re about to do. You don’t speak for everyone, nor do I, but we shouldn’t be all treat the same.

Nellodee · Today 10:47
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Touching a man’s chest is is hardly equivalent to touching a woman’s breasts, is it?

it absolutely is if it’s uninvited/unwanted. or do only the feelings of women matter?

But it's NOT an unwanted touch. Because you read eachothers body language.

People have been successful at that for thousands of years.

If you do touch their arm and there's no reciprocation or they aren't happy about it, you back off. It's not difficult!

I appreciate too may not like to be touched at all. However, that’s a far cry from saying you would accuse someone who did it of assault. Just like me saying, “It’s not assault” is a far cry from me saying, “I’m okay with being touched on the arm any place, any time and everyone else would be too.”

Who exactly cries assault if someone touches their arm on a date?

But there’s nuance, it’s not about an unwanted touch being labelled as assault but some women would be offended & would not want a unasked for touch even if their body language showed they liked the person.

So, what you are saying is that men don’t make advances in women because they feel it may be embarrassing if they are rejected?

This is a very different position from the people who are arguing that men don’t make advances because, post Me Too, they are rightfully afraid that if they do, their lives will be ruined because they may be wrongfully accused of all assault.