He cancelled a date and is now angry I didn’t reply?

[Utopiana]

Been seeing this man for 2 months ish. We were meant to meet on Saturday at 7pm but I got a message (after I had spent two hours getting ready!!!) at 6 saying “hello, it’s one of my mates birthday tonight sorry I forgot, I will have to show up for a bit, but would be free around 11pm, idk how you feel about that”

I felt like he had a better offer (not the party) and just thought well okay. Went out with my friends instead. No intention of getting into an argument or discussion with the guy.

I have just got a message from him saying “you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

ITS BEEN LESS THAN 2 days.

Was I wrong not to reply to his text? I think any rational person knows someone’s not going to meet them for a meal at 11?

I think its rude to not reply, but don't blame you not meeting him at 11, i woulf have done what you did, but i would hwve responded to the message

Ugh. Throw this one back.

You weren't wrong. It's be rethinking about seeing him again though.

So he actually has the cheek to say that you are in the wrong for not replying to his text cancelling the date but wanting a booty call?
I think his follow up text tells you what you need to know about him.

I think you should have replied to acknowledge and decline.

However, I’d ditch him entirely for his tone. You barely know the guy and he’s acting like he’s the adult and you’re a child he has to educate. That goes really poorly down the road.

I’d consider throwing this one back. First he cancelled your date with short notice, and then he thinks he can educate you on how to behave and is patronising. This doesn’t sound very promising.

He would've been free about 1am more like for a shag on his way home. He was just lining up his booty call. Yeah.. PASS!!

“you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

And you need to keep your promises when organising a date douchebag!

I think you should have responded but I'd ditch him, how patronising!

He sounds horrible!! Do not date this man, please!

You would have to have the absolute worst judgement and boundaries in the world to not block this fucking idiot immediately.

I would probably have replied with something short and vaguely passive aggressive like ‘ok’ or 👍 just to acknowledge receipt but wouldn’t have said anything else and wouldn’t have bothered trying to sort another date. Anyway if his original cancellation wasn’t a red flag the message he’s sent today certainly is so sounds like you can get rid and will have dodged a bullet.

I guess he did ask a question at the end of that text about meeting later that day and I probably would have replied let's leave it for today then. But no, it's not right that he gets to be arsey that you didn't.

I think you should have responded however I’d probably reply to him now saying that you need to learn to plan your time and don’t let people down. If this happens after 2 months then I don’t see a future for us.

End message , then block.

who wants a guy who ditches you at the last minute because he presumed oh had a better offer!

@Utopiana chuck him back. He's not a good 'un.

He made plans with you and could have taken you with him or called and apologised and arranged to meet you later. Instead he chose an impersonal text then got mad when you didn't chase after him to accommodate his booty call after.

He's the rude one. You can do better.

CF, .....you have handled it perfectly.
One hour befor you meet and he cancelled? CF.
I wouldn't dream of replying.
Another loser who thinks women need to tolerate any bullshit they dish out.
Do not respond, you don't owe his rudeness any reply.

I think it's fair enough not to reply when you've been ditched at the last minute and basically relegated to a booty call.

He's just trying to make you feel like you're in the wrong so you apologise and pretend it's OK.

I wouldn't reply.

Female conditioning demands she reply. 🙄
Screw that. He is rude and deserves zero response.
Well done OP, perfectly handled.

I think you should have responded.

By not responding you've found out fast he's not the one for you!

What an asshole.

Reply "Entitled much? You cancelled on me last minute as your mate was more important than our date. Given I have no interest in seeing you again I don't owe you anything, let alone ego-massaging communication"

“you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

You totally have the right to go silent, you owe this lowlife nothing

He wanted for you to engage so he can downgrade you: train you to accept to be cancelled at short notice, accept the conversion into a sh*g, pressure you if you didn t accept, you did the right thing by taking your time, he immediately showed his true colours

Ditch!

Awful first message from him and even more awful second one!

Yeah, leaving aside that he expected you to wait around to 11pm for the pleasure of his company, 'you need to learn to communicate better' would do it for me. Pompous arse.

Sounds like a bit of a knob tbh. He forgot about a mates birthday, that late in the day!? Don't believe that tbh and to say he will see you later at 11pm, sounds like a booty call to me.

After that message i wouldn't regret not responding. He's talking down to you and that's really off putting

It's rude not to reply but he's a twat too, so nothing lost here. Move on.