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Original poster

He cancelled a date and is now angry I didn’t reply?

594 replies

Utopiana · 27/05/2024 15:46

Been seeing this man for 2 months ish. We were meant to meet on Saturday at 7pm but I got a message (after I had spent two hours getting ready!!!) at 6 saying “hello, it’s one of my mates birthday tonight sorry I forgot, I will have to show up for a bit, but would be free around 11pm, idk how you feel about that”

I felt like he had a better offer (not the party) and just thought well okay. Went out with my friends instead. No intention of getting into an argument or discussion with the guy.

I have just got a message from him saying “you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

ITS BEEN LESS THAN 2 days.

Was I wrong not to reply to his text? I think any rational person knows someone’s not going to meet them for a meal at 11?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 27/05/2024 18:10

'The decency to cancel' ?!?

With only 1 hour left?

Wow. That's a low bar.

DrJonesIpresume · 27/05/2024 18:11

DelphiniumBlue · 27/05/2024 15:49

So he actually has the cheek to say that you are in the wrong for not replying to his text cancelling the date but wanting a booty call?
I think his follow up text tells you what you need to know about him.

^ This.

Can't be bothered to spend the evening with you because he wants to have fun with his mates, expects you to make yourself available after 11pm, and then gets angry that you don't jump at the opportunity?

What a prince among men. Not.

tothelefttotheleft · 27/05/2024 18:12

@arethereanyleftatall

Imagine how it will piss him off if you don't reply to his second message.

That makes me happy!

Fraaahnces · 27/05/2024 18:14

Fuck that for a game of soldiers! He thinks you’re going to be his booty call? Blech….

CornishTiger · 27/05/2024 18:16

I’d literally leave this on read and ignore him further.

My instincts would be to reply ha ha ha. Gosh you are such a Prince Charming.

TomatoSandwiches · 27/05/2024 18:18

Honestly, he's told on himself with that message op, he REALLY doesn't like being ignored, any response except silence will make him think he's won some weird mind fuck game.

RedHelenB · 27/05/2024 18:20

You should have replied to his first text, it does look a bit sulky if you don't. I'd have just told him 11pm was too late for you to see him and left it at that.

spannered · 27/05/2024 18:21

Is it out of the ordinary for you to go 2 days without communicating? If not, he might think you are using the silent treatment as a punishment. I wouldn't cancel something like this last minute, but if I did and got the silent treatment for two days I'd run a mile!

Avatartar · 27/05/2024 18:21

Text 🗑️
then block

Changingplace · 27/05/2024 18:22

What a rude twat!

I have just got a message from him saying “you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

I would reply, ‘I don’t need to learn anything from you, it’s incredibly rude to cancel on anyone with one hours notice, it’s entirely up to me whether or not and under what timescale I choose to reply and no, you’re not good enough for me’

Then block him and move on.

Changingplace · 27/05/2024 18:24

RedHelenB · 27/05/2024 18:20

You should have replied to his first text, it does look a bit sulky if you don't. I'd have just told him 11pm was too late for you to see him and left it at that.

You’re under the impression that women owe rudeness a reply, they don’t, it’s quite refreshing when you realise that :)

FloofyBear · 27/05/2024 18:24

I would have replied on the night TBH, I wouldn't have been his booty call though at 11pm - I'd have been out with the girls and he could wait til the next time!!

Walkingtheplank · 27/05/2024 18:24

Changingplace · 27/05/2024 18:22

What a rude twat!

I have just got a message from him saying “you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

I would reply, ‘I don’t need to learn anything from you, it’s incredibly rude to cancel on anyone with one hours notice, it’s entirely up to me whether or not and under what timescale I choose to reply and no, you’re not good enough for me’

Then block him and move on.

Edited

Perfect response.

beergiggles · 27/05/2024 18:25

Please carry on ignoring him, please post all his messages here for our entertainment.
"You need to learn" who does he think he is!?!?

MILTOBE · 27/05/2024 18:25

You did the right thing. He made other plans knowing he was meant to be seeing you and then offered you the prize of a very late-night shag with him when he's drunk. Why would anyone respond to that message?

Your friend needs better boundaries, too.

gindreams · 27/05/2024 18:26

DatingDinosaur · 27/05/2024 17:40

I would have replied saying thanks for letting me know but no thanks, enjoy your night.

And left it there. I wouldn't have tried to re-arrange - that would be on him.

So I can understand why he sent that second text. Yes, you did come across as rude and entitled. He had the decency (even if it was a lie/excuse) to message you to cancel/delay. That doesn't make it right to respond with silence, imo.

What on earth are you going on about ? Are you standards that low ? He blew her out with a shut excuse and no notice and then wanted to come around for a fuck

What on earth is entitled about no replying ?

MILTOBE · 27/05/2024 18:26

FloofyBear · 27/05/2024 18:24

I would have replied on the night TBH, I wouldn't have been his booty call though at 11pm - I'd have been out with the girls and he could wait til the next time!!

You'd let there be a next time after that?

Fatotter · 27/05/2024 18:30

You snooze you lose.

Hasta la vista, baby!

blacksax · 27/05/2024 18:32

RedHelenB · 27/05/2024 18:20

You should have replied to his first text, it does look a bit sulky if you don't. I'd have just told him 11pm was too late for you to see him and left it at that.

It's not sulky.

The OP was totally justified in being cheesed off at the date being let down at the last minute, yet being expected to welcome him with open arms later on.

If he had any self-awareness, he would have realised the next morning that he'd put his foot in it. But no, he was just annoyed that he didn't get his booty call, and decided to tell the OP off...

They do say that when a man tells you who he is, you need to listen, and this one has done exactly that.

sellingpetrol · 27/05/2024 18:33

tothelefttotheleft · 27/05/2024 18:12

@arethereanyleftatall

Imagine how it will piss him off if you don't reply to his second message.

That makes me happy!

Agree with this! Just ignore him. Not worth your time!

Ownedbymymainecoon · 27/05/2024 18:34

I actually don't agree with others saying you should have responded.

Replying is a respectful action and he didn't show you any respect in the first instance.

Either way he needs to be history

sellingpetrol · 27/05/2024 18:34

He binned your date at the last minute and expected a pleasing response. Weasel.

TheseBootsAreWalking · 27/05/2024 18:34

Haaaaha ha WTAF where are the manners from this man, I am hoping you will simply toss this one back to where you found him and yes you are right, he found a better offer, thought he could reel you in for 11pm shaggadoodle and no argument there, and now he has thrown his toys out the pram because you know your worth, blimey men are so tactless

DatingDinosaur · 27/05/2024 18:34

Utopiana · 27/05/2024 18:06

Entitled how?

I felt like he had taken advantage of my time! I spent time getting ready and could have realistically had no other plans.

Show quote history

He could have been telling the truth and it was a genuine mistake that he forgot until the last minute.

Your comment about him wasting your time (like he did it on purpose) makes you sound entitled. Or really jaded with the dating game.

VJBR · 27/05/2024 18:35

DatingDinosaur · 27/05/2024 17:40

I would have replied saying thanks for letting me know but no thanks, enjoy your night.

And left it there. I wouldn't have tried to re-arrange - that would be on him.

So I can understand why he sent that second text. Yes, you did come across as rude and entitled. He had the decency (even if it was a lie/excuse) to message you to cancel/delay. That doesn't make it right to respond with silence, imo.

Rude and entitled? Because she didn't fancy being his booty call?

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