He cancelled a date and is now angry I didn’t reply?

[Utopiana]

Been seeing this man for 2 months ish. We were meant to meet on Saturday at 7pm but I got a message (after I had spent two hours getting ready!!!) at 6 saying “hello, it’s one of my mates birthday tonight sorry I forgot, I will have to show up for a bit, but would be free around 11pm, idk how you feel about that”

I felt like he had a better offer (not the party) and just thought well okay. Went out with my friends instead. No intention of getting into an argument or discussion with the guy.

I have just got a message from him saying “you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

ITS BEEN LESS THAN 2 days.

Was I wrong not to reply to his text? I think any rational person knows someone’s not going to meet them for a meal at 11?

I'd be replying "I communicate perfectly well with those worth my time. That doesn't include you. Have a lovely life."

Indeed

I don’t think it’s anything to do with being a woman. She could have replied “screw that, I’m not waiting around for you.”

I would literally reply with a thumbs up and nothing else.

I would have replied. A bit late to tell me now. I'll probably meet up with some friends instead, 11pm not good for me.

I've allowed someone to treat me like a back up plan in the past and it didn't go well in the end, if they can dump you with an hours notice for a better offer it's not going any where. And If this is the 'honeymoon period' good luck!

He’s a delight isn’t he. Agrees a meet up, pulls out last minute and then suggests a booty call. Then is annoyed when you don’t fall at his feet or chase him around. His tone is condescending and obnoxious. I would block and move on

He’s shown you his true colours early. Block and forget.

I would have replied, and declined his 11pm suggestion.

But his text is outrageous! “I am so sorry about Saturday, I’m guessing from Your silence that you were pissed off, which is fair enough, it was really flaky of me .I really would like to see you, give me a chance to make it up to you? “ might have been an acceptable message from him.

Nit a bloody lecture on how he thinks you should behave in the face of his rudeness!

I probably would have replied, but I think it’s actually worked out much better that you didn’t. It’s allowed his true colours to shine through even more brightly.

Yeah a thumbs up is a perfect put down!

IN THE BIN

It is often good to give someone enough rope to hang themselves. Like you said let’s them a chance to show their true colours

I love the thumbs up as well

Personally I'm shocked that you didn't rapidly take him up on his offer to fit you in to the end of his night when he's highly likely to be pissed as a fart and stinking of lager and kebab. How did you resist?

Your lack of reply was a reply in itself. What an absolute wanker. Throw him back.

😶

See him at 11pm? Yeah, for sex. He's not a keeper.

I would reply 'you need to learn not to be a selfish wanker' and block, You are not wrong to ignore him though, there's no forgiving his crappy behaviour.

I probably would have replied 'that doesn't work for me' in response to a question about meeting at 11.

After all that message though, I would just leave him on read. And ignore any/all future messages.

Or 'you weren't the only one who got a better offer'. Then block.

Thanks everyone, my friend has commented I was “too harsh” but not really understanding why.

I don’t think it’s rude to not reply to rudeness.

Honestly…human stupidity is endless….Dump him. He probably expected you to “give him what he wants” ie let him check on other offer AND remain his other option. Honestly…some people think too high of themselves.

😂😂😂 well I know, must’ve been the sheer excitement from such an offer which made me forget to reply

"I don’t think it’s rude to not reply to rudeness."

I agree. He "forgot" his friend's party and gave you an hour's notice.

so tell him you forgot to text a reply "sorry, I forgot to reply to say - not seeing you again. I have standards".

He has been an unbelievable wanker.
a thumbs up is the perfect response. Or perhaps a laughing emoji.

I would continue not to reply as clearly he finds it annoying and he deserves to be annoyed after his rude behaviour but I would also now block