He cancelled a date and is now angry I didn’t reply?

[Utopiana]

Been seeing this man for 2 months ish. We were meant to meet on Saturday at 7pm but I got a message (after I had spent two hours getting ready!!!) at 6 saying “hello, it’s one of my mates birthday tonight sorry I forgot, I will have to show up for a bit, but would be free around 11pm, idk how you feel about that”

I felt like he had a better offer (not the party) and just thought well okay. Went out with my friends instead. No intention of getting into an argument or discussion with the guy.

I have just got a message from him saying “you need to learnt to communicate better, you can’t just go silent when you don’t get what you want or what is offered is not good enough for you.”

ITS BEEN LESS THAN 2 days.

Was I wrong not to reply to his text? I think any rational person knows someone’s not going to meet them for a meal at 11?

Beautifully put, it's so true!

Knobhead. Get rid

Too right. He knew long before an hour before you were due to meet not being entitled I would have replied but he wouldn’t have liked it. Only to say goodbye

My standards are fine thanks. As is my self respect.

As it stands, I think the guy has had a lucky escape because the OP seems to have punished him for what? For communicating with her that he's double booked himself? Just because she wasted time? These things happen and if someone is going to get in the huff about it and play silly games, then yes, I think that is entitled.

Roughly translated as," I treated you badly when I dropped you last minute to see my mates and still wanted a booty call, but didnt expect you to treat me badly back so now I am going to get mardy and make it all your fault".

Get rid.

No, you're right - rudeness isn't entitled to a response. I think you handled it well, and his treatment of you is disrespectful. Personally I wouldn't continue with this twerp.

@MILTOBE - no, but I would have responded so wouldn't have got that response. But no, if that's a typical way for him to react then he'd be thrown back in for sure

@DatingDinosaur
If it was a genuine mistake and this was actually a nice man who is a bit forgetful, then the follow up message from him should have come again the next morning profusely apologising and offering to make it up to her. But instead he told her off for not responding to his rudeness!! Does that not give you a clue that this isn't a nice man making a mistake?

Where’s the game? I don’t want to speak to him, so I didn’t. Double booking yourself is fine, realising an hour before that you’ve double booked yourself is the behaviour of a teenager.

Cancelling an hour before meeting is rude AF unless it’s a medical emergency for him/someone he loves.

He deserves no response and those calling it unreasonable need to raise their own bar.

He’s a cf! Cancelled at ridiculously short notice and says she’s rude?! Seriously!

💯- he got a better offer but still fancied a shag.

Totally disagree that you were rude and entitled OP - that’s on him.

I don’t think he deserves a response after blowing you out last minute and his message since shows you he’s an entitled dickhead who thought you’d jump when he wanted you to. If you’d taken him up on his low bar offer, the precedent would be set for future behaviour.

Well done for treating the twat with the respect he deserves - absolutely zero

I think he was rude. He could have met you first, then gone to have a beer with his mate at 11pm instead. He choose the better offer and thought you'd be his boots call at the end of his evening. As if you'd want to see him after numerous pints and a curry! Ew.

Are you a professional doormat or just for men? If

He was rude/disorganised, she just didn’t reply. He interpreted that. OP just said nothing.

You don’t have to accept shit behaviour you know? You are allowed to manifest irritation/not just be a fawning doll.

Exactly this. And when he’s clearly trying to meet you for a shag at the end of the night.
What an absolute twat.

@DatingDinosaur

A decent guy who would have genuinely mixed up
1/ would have kept his word to OP to start with

2/ or would have been at least way, way more contrite, apologetic and polite
3/ would not have tried to schedule a booty call at 11pm in passing
4/ the follow-up message wouldn t be oozing with entitlement/frustration

To be honest, I do think you were rude not to reply to his message and just decline to see him at 11pm and tell him to get on his bike. He behaved very badly, both cancelling when he did - and for the follow up message, but 2 wrongs don't make a right.

In any event, he deserves to be dumped and you've probably had a lucky escape

I would have declined the Slot you in at 11 "offer" but wow, the cheek of him now. His indignation suggests he feels no responsibility for how things panned out.

Just entitlement to cancel at an hour's notice and for you to smile and say "ok!"

Nope. That was a booty call at 11pm. Kick him to the kerb

@arethereanyleftatall I agree his follow up message should have been apologetic. And it probably would have been if the OP had replied to his first message.

To all those saying I should raise my bar, it's not about raising bars, it's about manners. I think all those who would ghost/ignore the guy for something like this have low bars.

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Nicely explained 👌
Threads like this show how some women end of with utter twats as partners.
Imagine being so desperate that you feel obliged to be polite to someone that has dropped you one hour before you meet to go on the piss with his friends, but is prepared to grace you with his presence late in the evening to dump his load.🙄
Wow!
What a prince....that's definitely a prize you have there.🤢🤮
Well...I am very happy with my fxxk that for a game of soldiers attitude.
Had far to much respect for myself to entertain such behaviour in any shape or form and have reared my children likewise.
The OP owes zero courtesy to anyone who would cancel like this.
Accepting such treatment is teaching ANYONE that tries to treat you like this that you have zero self respect for yourself.

Well done OP, do not dignify his uncouth behaviour with a response.
Your standards will serve you well.

He said 'idk how you'd feel about that'

I think not responding very clearly shows how you felt about that.

He sounds a bit thick tbh.

I've read somewhere and think this is good advice...

Say no to a man early on in your relationship. His reaction will tell you all you need to know.

I'd bin him off, OP. He sounds patronising and misogynistic.
You can do much better.

I disagree with the PPs you quoted. If you let him treat you like that, then that sets a really bad precedent (better to throw this one back unless he makes a lot more effort in future).