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Original poster

Husband has told me he is going to Thailand.

400 replies

Ilivetosleep · 16/05/2024 20:34

My husbands older brother turns 50 this year. He is married and hads a new born baby. This afternoon when I got home from work ,my husband has declared that him, his brother, his nephew and two of their cousins are going to Thailand for his 50th. He hasn't mentioned this to me before and we have 4 kids and custody of my niece. Would you find this odd and worrying??

OP posts:
travailtotravel · 16/05/2024 20:35

I'd expect a discussion. Is he proposing to bo alone. How will he afford it? When will you get your break?

MrsKwazi · 16/05/2024 20:37

There is only one reason for men-only hols to thailand and that is for the cheap and readily accessible sex industry.

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 16/05/2024 20:37

I wouldn't find it worrying at all - what do you think is worrying about it?

GailTheSnail · 16/05/2024 20:38

I'd be asking what he had lined up for childcare.

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 16/05/2024 20:39

MrsKwazi · 16/05/2024 20:37

There is only one reason for men-only hols to thailand and that is for the cheap and readily accessible sex industry.

I can't help but worry about this. We've been married 20 years & together for 25. I don't think he's ever cheated on me. His brother though is awful.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 16/05/2024 20:40

travailtotravel · 16/05/2024 20:35

I'd expect a discussion. Is he proposing to bo alone. How will he afford it? When will you get your break?

He's going with his brother, his nephew and two male cousins. His brother is not faithful at all to his current wife or the one before.

OP posts:
BeckiWithAnI · 16/05/2024 20:41

My husband wouldn’t “tell” me he’a spending thousands of pounds flying half way around the world on a jolly when we have 5 kids at home and we’re not even invited.
He can tell me so-and-so at work is having leaving drinks he wants to go to, he can tell me he’s going off to see his folks at the weekend.
He doesn’t just get to shirk his domestic responsibilities for a long haul holiday with zero discussion.

yawningagain · 16/05/2024 20:41

Would you be worried if it was Tenerife? or are we going down the generalising/racist rabbit hole again

Screamingabdabz · 16/05/2024 20:41

Yep sex tourism. Or worse. Why are a bunch of blokes going to Thailand otherwise? Had he ever shown any interest in Thai culture before now?

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 16/05/2024 20:42

It's really starting to upset me. prior to having kids just after we got married I went ro Morrocco with my sister for a long weekend and he said if I can then he can. I don't even know how long he is planning on going for.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 16/05/2024 20:44

My husband would never tell me he is going on a holiday. He would talk to me about spending a large sum of money and leaving me with sole responsibility of our child. Then I would probably send him on his way if there were no complications.

so just off the bat I would be annoyed and worried.

meemawww · 16/05/2024 20:45

At least one of those men is a predator

Edenmum2 · 16/05/2024 20:46

It sounds like communication isn't great with you two. I don't have the perfect marriage by any stretch but my DH would never 'tell' me he's showing away on such a big trip without talking it through, especially if he's leaving you to sort out childcare.

It's not necessarily the trip that sounds worrying but his attitude is definitely off

WeDreamInPhosphoresence · 16/05/2024 20:46

I know a guy who goes there for holidays with his brother, son, and two nephews.

Every morning they go straight to a blow job bar and...yeah.

Hopefully that's not the kind of trip they're planning...

rockingbird · 16/05/2024 20:48

WeDreamInPhosphoresence · 16/05/2024 20:46

I know a guy who goes there for holidays with his brother, son, and two nephews.

Every morning they go straight to a blow job bar and...yeah.

Hopefully that's not the kind of trip they're planning...

Eww, absolutely vile behaviour. Sadly OP I think it's clear why they are going. 🫣

FictionalCharacter · 16/05/2024 20:50

So these 5 men all think it's fine for them to go on holiday leaving their wives behind, including his brother's wife who has a newborn baby?
That's without the implications of an all-male group going to that particular destination.

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 16/05/2024 20:50

Edenmum2 · 16/05/2024 20:46

It sounds like communication isn't great with you two. I don't have the perfect marriage by any stretch but my DH would never 'tell' me he's showing away on such a big trip without talking it through, especially if he's leaving you to sort out childcare.

It's not necessarily the trip that sounds worrying but his attitude is definitely off

Communication isn't great as we're always out with the kids. He's at rugby practice at the moment and I've only just got in with the younger ones. We're both constantly exhausted. I work full time.

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 16/05/2024 20:55

I remember an ex boyfriend telling me that if ever a man told me he was going/had been on holiday to Pattaya they were going for sex, almost certainly under age sex.

5 blokes, one with a new born, think it's OK to dump their wives and spend a lot of money without discussion going to somewhere well known for sex tourism - absolutely I'd be unhappy.

JustAGalWhoLovesBooks · 16/05/2024 20:56

It might just be me, but it wouldn't bother me at all. Just like if I wanted to go away, I would hope it wouldn't bother him. I actually like the break from him! Obviously, as long as childcare was sorted and it didn't impact my work. DH went to Dubai for a week last year, and I was quite pleased about it!

OpalSpirit · 16/05/2024 20:59

yawningagain · 16/05/2024 20:41

Would you be worried if it was Tenerife? or are we going down the generalising/racist rabbit hole again

??

Having lived in Thailand for years I would absolutely be concerned about my partner going on a men only holiday out there.

Unless they are going on a cultural tour of temples, we all know why they are headed there.

OpalSpirit · 16/05/2024 21:01

JustAGalWhoLovesBooks · 16/05/2024 20:56

It might just be me, but it wouldn't bother me at all. Just like if I wanted to go away, I would hope it wouldn't bother him. I actually like the break from him! Obviously, as long as childcare was sorted and it didn't impact my work. DH went to Dubai for a week last year, and I was quite pleased about it!

Nope, totally fine for a partner to go away assuming money and responsibilities are covered.
In this case it is the destination that raises red flags

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 16/05/2024 21:05

He has been away before with the same group and his 'sensible' brother. Who apparently doesn't want to go on this trip.

OP posts:
GreenClock · 16/05/2024 21:06

Ilivetosleep · 16/05/2024 21:05

He has been away before with the same group and his 'sensible' brother. Who apparently doesn't want to go on this trip.

There’s a reason why the sensible sibling is steering clear, OP.

datcherygrateful · 16/05/2024 21:07

What is it with men and questionable behaviour regarding holidays on the Relationship thread today? This is the THIRD one I have seen today

Redlarge · 16/05/2024 21:08

MrsKwazi · 16/05/2024 20:37

There is only one reason for men-only hols to thailand and that is for the cheap and readily accessible sex industry.

I think this too