Husband has told me he is going to Thailand.

[Ilivetosleep]

My husbands older brother turns 50 this year. He is married and hads a new born baby. This afternoon when I got home from work ,my husband has declared that him, his brother, his nephew and two of their cousins are going to Thailand for his 50th. He hasn't mentioned this to me before and we have 4 kids and custody of my niece. Would you find this odd and worrying??

Clearly you have not been to Thailand.

No, it says I've spent quite some time in Thailand. PPs have posted that they live in Thailand. You would have to be unbelievably stupid to visit there and not notice.

I know the OPs DH isn't going anymore but I would warn anyone going to make sure they are fully up to date with Thailand's laws - the new government is looking to reclassify weed as a narcotic again shortly (back to large fines and jail time). Even now you can get into trouble if you have too high a THC strength or a get a small fine if you smell too strongly of weed.

Or sons.

Have you actually been to Thailand?
I have (woman here) and yes a fabulous country, beautiful, fantastic food and beaches. But my stomach still turns when I think of the tiny tiny part of the astonishing sex industry, including seeing young Thai boys and girls (think primarily school age) with middle aged/old white men around them.
I was not looking for sex bars or the red-light district, you couldn't avoid it.
It shocked me to my core.
Unless you've been there you can't imagine how blatant it is, how seemingly 'normalised' and obviously how massive it is in terms of tourism.
I wouldn't joke about it.
It's absolutely heartbreaking.

Believe it or not, some of us have actually spent a lot of time there and read up.

The statistics, and no, I'm not looking them up for you but I have researched it, do bear out that sex tourism is a massive issue in Thailand. It's also true that all male groups or solo male travellers are often there for sex tourism or take part when they are there. My boyfriend, who was travelling with me, was offered constantly. It's also true that the majority of women in the sex industry in Thailand started before 18. Meaning they either are underage or were underage.

None of that is racism. What is racism (and misogyny and abuse) is white men going there to fuck Thai women and girls who wouldn't look at them if they weren't trafficked, addicted, poor or pimped. It's repulsive.

There you have it. The sensible one knows what they are going there for.

The men were draped around the children or had them sitting on their laps btw. Very casually, very open about stroking them etc.

Honestly can't believe people are saying there's no problem and all those men are there for the pad Thai.

Agree with @MrsTerryPratchett I was there as a young woman with my young bf at the time.
We walked around holding hands as usual.
He was constantly propositioned, people trying to pull him away from me. He was shocked too.
We aren't prudes. But it was dystopia.
This was Bangkok, away from their and in the resorts we didn't see it as much/at all as we were with more the backpacking/party crowd.

But back in the airport on the way home, there they all were again. Garry Glitter types absolutely everywhere with their arms around young women/girls/boys.

Not just British men, Germans, Russians, Americans, Australian were the languages/accents we heard.

I met a guy who spent the entire 2 hours regaling me with stories about his best friend’s Thai wife — how she was quiet, how she did what she was told, how she kept a clean house, how she did the laundry and cleaning without a single complaint, how she had dinner waiting for him every single night when he got home from work, how she never talked back, blah blah blah…

And then he tried to convince me that the government of Thailand had invited him over to spend a month as “their special guest.”
He was leaving in the next few days — but he wouldn’t have accepted if he’d known he was going to meet me.

Go. By all means, go.
Creepiest dude ever.

People are criticising sex tourists not Thailand or the Thai people.

Lived in Thailand, yes the food and culture are amazing but it's also full of nonces after kids, very openly and brazenly. Sorry to bust your bubble but no-one is exaggerating that. Nothing against the Thais but the sex industry there is insane. It's not racist to state a fact.

You wouldn't have noticed it but the number of asian men going into Thailand, the Philippines for the sex trade is phenomenal too. Many ask for 'virgins' and you know what that means. The white ones stick out but all the mfs going there for paid sex are reprehensible.

Yuck. I often need to catch a connecting flight in Bangkok and the plane is chockablock with seedy white men clearly there for a bit of sex tourism.

He thought he’d try his luck and has backed down now he knows it’s a firm no. The intention was still there though.

I would’ve agreed with you before I went there.

The sex industry is at odds with the culture and it’s awful to see.

Absolutely @mirax I was aware that the Asian trade is enormous too.

The poor Hmong and others who are trafficked into it. It's a tragedy.

Wow. I like the idea of saying you were so
upset you booked a week in Ibiza. I would also use this to point out very clearly you never want to hear the Morocco comparison again, all it tells you is that he doesn’t do enough parenting if he thinks it’s fair to compare leaving him to.. look after himself while you go on holiday vs him leaving you to look after 4 kids. And you’ll be out Saturday and he can use that time to make
sure he remembers what 4 kids are like.

(i too wonder if he was sussing you out)

Wow, that's not a gross generalisation or anything is it?
Would you assume all hen parties are 'bucket of cocktails', leering at the fit blokes at a performance of magic mike, and ending with their legs akimo in a gutter at 2am?

Omg, you expect people to 'express an interest' in the culture of the country they are going on holiday to before going?
How much of an interest? Get a degree? Spend 6 months watching youtube vids? Learning language and bus timetables?
I hope that those rules apply to you and that you spend weeks reading up on all aspects of life relating to the country and venue of your holidays.

That’s so fucking ignorant. Thailand is a beautiful country with wonderful history and culture, breathtaking scenery, incredible food, vibrant nightlife. What you’ve said is just downright insulting to an amazing country that is so much more than a sex industry. Awful comment.

What a prince...

This was my first thought. Thailand is beautiful but I find it creepy whenever I hear about men going without their families for some reason

@wherearemywellingtons it is disgusting that such an amazing place is treated like a brothel and worse by men.

Women recognising the fact isn't disgusting.

Have you been there? It's a beautiful place. I wouldn't be worried at all but my dh would definitely be going for some kind of sport, he'd hate anything to do with the sex industry

Erm no my hubby or myself talk it thru and usually all is fine depending what we want to do