Husbands friendship group are cheaters

[Sunseasand1]

My husband has come back from a weekend away with friends and family last month, where one of the group ended up having an affair, which resulted in the end of his longstanding marriage, and a second friend cheated. None of this information was offered by my husband, who said he was trying to protect them.
I am certain my husband was faithful.
Problem being they are planning another weekend away with the group of girls they met, one of whom is now the new gf of his family member.
My husband is now the only member of the group with a wife, and doesn’t want to miss the weekend away with his family members, one of whom lives abroad. But surely I’m right to be worried and upset about this.

If it’s a mixed group trip why aren’t you invited?

He needs to find new friends.

Preferably ones with morals.

Nope, nope, nope! I would not be OK with this.
To be honest, it sounds like they all need to grow up.
And as PP said, it's a mixed sex group trip - I'd be going.

Do you have any reason to believe he'd be unfaithful?

About 5 years ago, my friendship group was going through personal stuff. I went away a few times with them during this time. One was single and very much trying to find a new man and 3 cheated on their husbands.

Then the 3 went on to leave their husbands and I still went away with 4 single friends. I didn't cheat once and had no desire to.

It’s a group of lads (close family and long term friends), going away with the group of girls they met on their last trip away (one of whom is now the new gf of the group since he left his wife for her).

I'm not sure what you're worried about, if you're happy that your husband isn't cheating and isn't going to cheat.

The shenanigans of his family members and friends is disappointing and makes life difficult for those who are friends with the cheaters and the wronged parties.

No, I don’t think he would be unfaithful.
but for his group of friends to go away with this new group of girls I find very disrespectful.

I needed to hear this thank you.

If it’s a couples thing then why aren’t you invited?

Ok, so it's a "lads" holiday with a group of girls who are not their girlfriends, apart from this one new one? So, that is a bit odd.

Why aren't you invited?

I don't see why you couldn't go then -- it's far from a blokes-only trip.

Are you just upset that you aren't going. As to be fair, I'd be more annoyed that I hadn't been asked and nothing to do with cheating or particularly that they were girls. Just that it clearly isn't a lads weekend.

If a girlfriend is coming surely you're invited too then? Everyone of stbxh close friends are now divorced, at least one cheated, stbxh thought it was perfectly fine because he wasn't getting it at home. Turned out every one of his close friend's is an arsehole who don't respect women including him. Him not being bothered by the cheating would worry me.

It’s one of the lads birthday weekend away, with his friends, and his gfs group of friends.
It’s not couples as such. But I’m the only other wife out of the group and so the only one not invited.
I do not know the other group of girls.

Your DH should s going on a weekend away with girls his mates cheated with - and your not invited…. I think he met a little chickadee whilst there himself - he just didn’t get caught

Never a truer saying

‘Show me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are”?

No but you know your husband and his mates. Bloody hell OP…

Errr… in this situation either I’d be going with him or he wouldn’t be going at all.

don’t be a mug.

I’m not upset I’m not going, or not invited.
I don’t know these girls, but the fact 2 of them jumped into bed with two of the lads, ruined a marriage etc. I just don’t think many of them, lads or girls, have good intentions.
I am just upset my husband can’t realise him putting himself in this situation, and causing me upset is an issue.

So this group of men including your husband going on a lads holiday with a group of random women one of whom is the new FB of his mate and he left his wife for her?

Fuck that - yes it’s disrespectful as fuck and I can’t believe your husband thinks you should just accept it as normal.

Personally I’d set my boundaries now otherwise it’ll be a regular ‘oh just going out with the lads plus Suzy and her girls’

Either you’re invited or he doesn’t go. Hes being very very very unreasonable

Why does he keep the company of such morally compromised men? Either invite you or don't go.

I don't think I'm overly controlling or needy....but I'm pretty baffled at the thought of being ok about a "lads holiday" with a group of girls they met on their last holiday, all sounds a bit teenage!

They all sound pretty immature and I wouldn't be keen to spend any time with them, and I would wonder what my partner enjoyed about hanging out with them if I were in your shoes.

It just seems odd that some of the "lads" can bring their girlfriends but your DH can't invite his wife.

I’m fine with all these kind of things and never even ask who my DH is going away with, but this sounds strange to me, and I would be wondering why I’m not invited.

Erm yeah it would be a hard no from me. Obviously it's his choice to make at the end of the day but his shit would be packed and the locks would be changed on his return. I'm not a mug.

Yikes! This is not ok. Your dh is going on a fuck cruise with some horn dogs, if I may be direct. From his point of view I’d be curious what the fun event is supposed to be? Drinking? Banging girls? Gambling? Deep conversations with his brothers/cousins? Oh wait—how likely is that last one?

No he shouldn’t go—he shouldn’t want to go. He will either be the odd man out and the butt of every drunken joke or he will end up pressured to participate.

This group as a whole are true “lads”—wives are killjoys and real life happens primarily in homosocial groups in which girls can tag along for sex and laughs but not much else.

You can’t stop him but I’d have a serious talk to him about how it can potentially affect your view of him and affect your marriage. He is prioritizing a relationship with the men in his family who don’t treat women as equally valued.