Husbands friendship group are cheaters

[Sunseasand1]

My husband has come back from a weekend away with friends and family last month, where one of the group ended up having an affair, which resulted in the end of his longstanding marriage, and a second friend cheated. None of this information was offered by my husband, who said he was trying to protect them.
I am certain my husband was faithful.
Problem being they are planning another weekend away with the group of girls they met, one of whom is now the new gf of his family member.
My husband is now the only member of the group with a wife, and doesn’t want to miss the weekend away with his family members, one of whom lives abroad. But surely I’m right to be worried and upset about this.

Of course it’s an issue ! If I told my husband 4, of 5 of us cheated on their patners on a weekend away or at any point at that , do you not suppose he’d be a real idiot to believe I’m just that one genuine , faithful person? That saying about showing me your friends & me telling you who you are ..?

why would I be the odd one out of my supposed friends ? What makes us friends? What do we share in common?

This.

if he wants to hang out with folk that are cheating then he probably is or would be willing to too. Sorry op!

This is insanity! No way would I be ok with this, as PP have said it’s clearly not a “lads” holiday so why would you not be invited, why does he not want you to go? No way is this normal or something I would trust….

I'm assuming the group of girls are already an established friendship group and that's their reason for not inviting op as she'll be the only one not in a friendship group as such... but it's childish and ridiculous considering op's husband is in his 40s!!

Yes, because she won't have anything in common with a group of women who are much younger than she is, the the group of men (also much older) will have.

I'd not be happy with this and I'd probably call time on my marriage if my own DH was desperate to go under the circumstances you've laid out, OP.

His friends are cheats. And liars. And a marriage has been destroyed. And now your husband wants to go on holiday with the one who destroyed his marriage with the girl he cheated on his wife with, the other friend with the girl he cheated with, and additional girlfriends ... why exactly? To hang out with young, single girls ... without you

Nope. I wouldn't tell him he can't go, but I would tell him I wouldn't be having him back if he did.

This sounds like something Groups of single people do, not married/ in serious relationships. I would not be happy and would expect to be invited or he doesn’t go.

i have girls holidays and my DP goes on lads holidays, but not with groups of the opposite sex, and one they have previously cheated with!

This. If you think your husband wouldn’t be tempted I think you are just setting yourself up to be disappointed frankly. I would be asking why my husband would want to be going away with his single mates and a group of girls half his age. You know the saying what happens on tour…..

I know lol

Your ‘DH’ has just shown you his moral compass, his ability to lie to you and his inability to respect you and your feelings.
You obviously want to believe he hasn’t cheated, and he may or may not have cheated yet, but with this friendship group it’s on the cards. It would be wise to ask yourself why he’s so mighty keen to get right back in the mix with a bunch of cheating blokes and more than willing 20 something women.
Respect yourself OP because you are not being respected by your not so ‘D’ H

My husband went out with an acquaintance for a hobby, camped stayed over and had a great time.
Mixed group lots of booze. He was going again, so I said I’d like to come too.
amazingly enough, he went off the idea of going the second time, with me in tow having a great time, drinking and camping with lots of single people

im sorry… what?! Why on earh
is your husband going away with friends and a group of girls? This is weird. No way would a husband even think this is ok unless he has certain ideas. I really can’t believe you’re ok with this. You should be going or he should not be.

You’d be surprised. Some do.
20 year age gap between my ex and one of the girl he cheated with.

agree with most on here. It’s just really weird, if true. If he goes on holiday and meets random women then will he be okay you do the same with your friends and men you met once?

Not sure that calling women “slags” and saying he’ll likely be stuck with “the ugly one” is a perspective I want to try, thanks! Your post comes across as immature, naive and misogynistic.

What?? Unbelievable….. NOOOOOO!

I'm going to be really blunt here - if you're going to be the 'cool wife' and your husband goes away with those young girls he's just met, please make sure he packs plenty of condoms. At the very least, you do not want him to catch a STD off one of those girls and then pass it on to you if you intend to have a future with this guy.

So your husband thinks it’s ok to go away with a group of single men to meet a group of single women? If one of each are now in a relationship, then you could say “ok count me in” and see how that goes down. Go and spoil the vibe. Obviously they won’t want you to go (and you won’t have to) but you can say to your husband, x is going to be with his new partner so why can’t I come? Trust me, he won’t want you there. Because it’s a lads holiday where they buy the young women drinks and have their ego stroked... (Or more)

I think you ask yourself "Would your husband be ok with this if the roles were reversed?'

Would he be happy that you were the only married girl going away with her group of mates who are acting single with a group of young up-for-it lads?

And he's still your husband?

Why the eye-roll OP? Come on you know this is wrong.

What a carry on! No I would not be happy for my husband to be a part of something like this and, more to the point, I’m confident he wouldn’t want to be.

This isn't very helpful, but my ex's friendship circle was like this. I hated it and it's one reason I left. I don't think he would've cheated but I could never trust him. I'm not surprised you're uncomfortable.

Absolutely no effing way. This whole thing reeks.

My DH would have told me about the cheating mates on the first trip. The fact he helped his mates hide it is the first red flag,I’d have been livid enough at that point. And it goes downhill from there. A group of middle aged cheating men going away with a bunch of 20 yo girls with no morals. Sorry but the fact he even wants to go stinks.

Have the 2 groups been socialising together until now? Are you close to the birthday boy who’s planning the trip?

if this were my husband I actually don’t think he’d go as it’s no longer a boys holiday. It’s something else and he has a wife. My husband spends money on little trips away with his friends and I don’t begrudge him that but I dont see this as the same thing. The perimeters have changed. It’s all a bit weird. You are within your rights to say you’re not happy. His friends sound bloody awful too and the other women. We’re you friends with the wives they cheated on?

OP you seem to really need to normalise this. It’s not normal. It’s not ok. At best it shows a selfish, immature streak and a lack of morals in your DH. Wake up. You’re being taken for a mug unfortunately. Why would he even want to waste the time and money on this extremely weird set up unless he was primed to be getting his end away?

Go with them why is your husband going without you on a mixed trip?