Husbands friendship group are cheaters

[Sunseasand1]

My husband has come back from a weekend away with friends and family last month, where one of the group ended up having an affair, which resulted in the end of his longstanding marriage, and a second friend cheated. None of this information was offered by my husband, who said he was trying to protect them.
I am certain my husband was faithful.
Problem being they are planning another weekend away with the group of girls they met, one of whom is now the new gf of his family member.
My husband is now the only member of the group with a wife, and doesn’t want to miss the weekend away with his family members, one of whom lives abroad. But surely I’m right to be worried and upset about this.

Absolutely fucking not.

As a guy, on a mixed weekend and my OH is not invited its easy - I would not go unless you come along

Nope, it's not OK. In fact the whole situation is ick. So his 40 odd year old mate has ended his marriage to date a woman in her 20's? Do they all come from the same country?
I suspect these holidays come at extra cost, part of the lads attraction for them will be the material benefits of being shown a good time, it won't be their looks. What the men get in return, will be the attention from young women.
Totally inappropriate for a married man to be involved with.

Ask your husband if he would be happy with you going away with your friends and a group of lads you met whilst away, then tell him to make the decision and that the decision may affect the rest of his life.

They're not all like this, I go for men who aren't laddy types who hang out in groups which gets rid of a whole set of issues (of course there's always a chance someone will cheat in any situation)
But there are a worrying number who do do it and the wives and partners are completely oblivious. Scary

You definitely need to say to him, right now, today, "I'm probably going to come along on holiday as well seeing as it's mixed couples holiday"
Then just watch his face!
Absolutely no fucking way would my H be going and he seriously wouldn't have the nerve or idiocy to even contemplate it.
As someone said earlier, it's a planned shagfest and your H is included.
Raise your bar OP!

Any thoughts on what posters have written @Sunseasand1 ? It's more than likely that he is already paired up with one of the girls from the last trip.
I mean, it's inappropriate at the very least isn't it?

So to recap. The OP's husband is going away on a lads weekend which isn't a lads weekend because there's a group of girls going who happen to be 20 years younger. 2 of the girls are in relationships with 2 of the lads but the OP can't go because she will be the only wife which would be really weird. She also can't go because apparently nobody will know her, even though the lads are long time friends and family of her DH and they only met the group of random girls last weekend.

Yep, that all sounds perfectly fine. I shouldn't worry about a thing OP.

Little word of caution - my best friends husband of 20 years had a group of friends like this, they went away and met some younger woman, my friend is now divorced as he ex started an affair with one of them behind her back for 5 years.
Not saying your DH would but I can't see why he would want to go TBH.

Eeeeeeeeew!

What losers these blokes must be. Middle aged men with wives and families, chasing around on sex trips with a group of young women who could almost be their daughters. Even if (and that’s a biiiiiiiig ‘if’ OP) your husband hasn’t cheated and isn’t going to, how can you not get the massive ick from him being part of this pathetic nonsense?

This must be horrible and hurtful to you - but please have some self respect and change the locks if he goes on this trip, and use the time to plan life without such a gross, disrespectful overgrown teenager.

Hahaha I was about to say the same thing.

If anything, an honest husband would WANT his wife there - what's he going to be doing while his friends are coupled up?

Why do I suspect there's a third 20yo friend, or if not already, they'll be bringing some single friends to keep him occupied.

Ridiculous. Some really understanding wives out here! This would be a big fat NO from me!

🤢 🤢 I'm sorry but I couldn't respect someone who had friends like that. let alone someone who would want to go on holidays with a bunch of girls half their age.

massive ick

OP please come back and update us when you do tell him you want to go!

I’m the only other wife out of the group and so the only one not invited

Red flag right there. So all the cheaters are bringing their Partners, but you can’t go because your just a wife?

hmm 🚩

they are planning another weekend away with the group of girls they met

He's taking the piss, and he knows it. This is a guy who's going through a mid-life crisis and who wants to pretend he's young and single again, having a laff with his lad mates on dirty holidays. Yuck.

I think it's clear what kind of men they are. They're discarding their old partners for shiny new toys, and that fact you're not invited is just laughable. He's keeping you at arms' length for a reason.

I'm sorry but you put it too politely. let's call a spade a spade. they are creepy middle aged perverts trying get off with girls young enough to be their daughters by plying them with free drinks etc.
the girls might be just having fun, but I doubt they will look back fondly on the times where 40 year old balding sweaty nigel felt them up on some skanky holiday
anyone of either gender who isn't grossed out by such dynamics and actively seeks to be part of that group is someone I would give a very wide berth.

Well said.

Ewwwww

This is so sleazy I don't think I'd want to be with a man who'd even consider going.

Call me cynical but sweaty balding Nigel had such a ridiculous ego that he threw away his marriage for a quick fling with a woman young enough to be his daughter who will be cringing and shuddering in a few months after she’s fleeced him and his mates to supply cocktails for the entire holiday for all of her mates.

Give it a few months, Nigel will be taken to the cleaners by the ex wife and his holiday fling will be shagging 25 year old Nathan and laughing about the sad old bastards who bankrolled their holiday

It's a mixed group, all couples except your husband? Are you only not-invited because you are part of the 'previous' set of women - which would be well dodgy!?
Why don't you go too if you haven't been specifically not-invited?

I am sorry OP but that speaks volumes! Along with everything else he can't really think that it's acceptable for him to go without you .

If he's going on this trip without inviting you, there's something dodgy going on!

If it’s a mixed group and you’re the only partner not invited , surely your DH will be the odd one out - or maybe he won’t ?!