Husbands friendship group are cheaters

[Sunseasand1]

My husband has come back from a weekend away with friends and family last month, where one of the group ended up having an affair, which resulted in the end of his longstanding marriage, and a second friend cheated. None of this information was offered by my husband, who said he was trying to protect them.
I am certain my husband was faithful.
Problem being they are planning another weekend away with the group of girls they met, one of whom is now the new gf of his family member.
My husband is now the only member of the group with a wife, and doesn’t want to miss the weekend away with his family members, one of whom lives abroad. But surely I’m right to be worried and upset about this.

100%

I would go with my husband just out of curiosity for all these folks😁

This is bonkers. Your husband is going away with a group of random women? If it were a sport, or a group of uni friends … but it’s literally a group of random women

You either go too or he stays home. It’s disrespectful and, quite frankly, a bit odd. You need to explain clearly it’s not ok and, if he still goes, I’d have a serious rethink about his respect for your feelings. It’s not about cheating, it’s about putting you in sn uncomfortable situation and choosing them over you, his wife.

Exactly this, no chance would my husband but be off on holiday with his cheating mates and their mistresses alone. It's not a guys trip so zero reason you can't go and if he has any respect for you he would want you to be there.

Let's put it this way, surely he doesn't want to be the only one without a "lady" there? Everyone's off getting laid with their mistresses and he's going to do what exactly? If he doesn't want you there then I'd be asking questions about exactly what he got up to last time.

Sorry to say that I agree with this

to be clear: the trip away is a sex trip in general and I would be angry is my dh wanted to do the trip

almost nobody thinks their husband will cheat. Until it hapoens. And often the cheaters are people who think cheating is appalling and “would never”.

Your husband is willing to protect them because they are willing to protect him

I think it’s weird you haven’t been invited. Red flag number 100 for this trip.

The fact you haven't been included suggests they are setting him up with someone also attending this is not appropriate behaviour of someone married.

It’s a no from me

Such bollox. If you are not invited he should not be going. End of.

I love your answer

Nobody can be put into a situation they don't want to be. If your husband doesn't want to cheat then he won't. It wouldn't bother me as I trust my husband and if he went against that trust then it's all on him.

A married man is going on holiday with his male family members. They are specifically going on holiday with a group of women, some of whom the male family members cheated on their partners with the last time they went on holiday. The men and the women they cheated with, as well as the whole group view this behaviour as acceptable. The whole group includes the OP's husband. He stayed loyal to the group and didn't tell his wife about the cheating until she found out herself.

Now, I'm not a betting woman but I'd be willing to bet the remaining £37 I have left until pay day that OPs husband cheated during the last holiday and has plans to cheat again this time.

Why else would a married man want to go on holiday with a bunch of singles who are clearly having a drunken shagfest? If he genuinely enjoyed their company, he'd invite his wife to join in the fun. They're all drinking and having sex whilst he's sitting quietly and nursing his pint? I don't think so!

OP, with the greatest of respect..

You do not know that your husband ' won't cheat'. This site is littered with threads from mumsnetters who's amazing moral DH always said they were against cheating, did exactly that.

If he can't see what is wrong with going away and meeting these girls again , then he has no respect for you.

I know you want to believe that this is OK, but it really, really isn't.

As a previous poster has said, they know that they will all cover for each other..what a cosy situation.

Yep. What happens in Vegas (or Amsterdam, Benidorm, Magalluf etc) stays in Vegas

Think I would ask all gf/wives or no gf/wives, which is it?

Yes I agree with all the pp. There is no way your DH is planning to sit and play gooseberry while all the other guys are playing away with these women. He will have a woman set up.for him.
I don't understand why you are passively accepting that you aren't invited. If you are his wife it shouldn't matter if you don't know the other women.

Blimey OP I’m relaxed about separate trips for married couples but this is really odd!!

Ask him if he’d be happy if you had been on a girls weekend away, met a group of fellas, two of whom shagged a couple of your mates, then you’d all arranged another weekend to meet up with them again 😳

Absolutely.
Judge someone by the company they keep.

2 thoughts - first, as others have said, why aren't you going?
Also, I once worked with a guy who was married, his besties were single and they'd all go out on the pull together, brag about it. Think he felt peer pressure to be the same as them. OK so he was sort of a scumbag, but it's not the ideal environment.

If you trust your DH then it wouldn’t worry me (he could cheat at any time).

I would be questioning his morals a bit but I have friends who’ve cheated on their DHs and although I do not agree with it at all, it’s their mistake to make and not mine.
It may make them a crap wife/gf but it doesn’t make them a crap friend.

I wouldn’t say anything to him about it tbh but even if I was invited I probably wouldn’t go myself, especially if you are friends with the ex wife.

100% this ... couldn't have said it better myself!

I am more of the view the wife doesn’t get invited ….. why?
i don’t see why your dh wouldn’t want his wife to go .

would he not feel like a spare part being the only single guy there .

Your dh is acting like he’s single if question what he did on these “holidays “

Why on earth would he this it was ok to go in holiday with a group of random girls? Let alone with men who cheat?

He's taking you for a mug.

And if he's disrespectful enough to do this then he's likely looking to cheat on you too.

'Protecting his friends' ...2 of whom are cheating scumbags. Yeah, he's protecting them because he doesn't actually see anything wrong with what they do. Because he does it too.

Sorry but any man who remotely suggested going away with a group of women, without me...immediate dumping!

So none of the ‘lads’ knew these women until the last time they went away? One left his wife for one, and a couple of others cheated?
Im pretty easy going but it’s a no from me. I expect they’ve got someone lined up for your dh with or without his knowledge. Your dh knows they won’t tell you either because he didn’t tell on them.