Husbands friendship group are cheaters

[Sunseasand1]

My husband has come back from a weekend away with friends and family last month, where one of the group ended up having an affair, which resulted in the end of his longstanding marriage, and a second friend cheated. None of this information was offered by my husband, who said he was trying to protect them.
I am certain my husband was faithful.
Problem being they are planning another weekend away with the group of girls they met, one of whom is now the new gf of his family member.
My husband is now the only member of the group with a wife, and doesn’t want to miss the weekend away with his family members, one of whom lives abroad. But surely I’m right to be worried and upset about this.

If another couple is going you should go with your DH, then the single lads can pair up with the girls and your DH isn't left like a spare wheel or get dragged into something he shouldn't and normally wouldn't do.

You should definitely be invited to go yourself !

Agree its about morals. I wouldn't be happy with a lads weekend away where they met a bunch of women.

It's really, really weird you are not invited. You say one of the girls became a girlfriend...Well you are his wife!! It doesn't matter if you don't know these girls or whether they are his mates. These girls got accepted into their inner sanctum so why not you?! This is ----Fucked up!

I would not be happy for him to go- He sounds v immature tbh. The company he keeps says alot.

Have a word with him. He needs to grow up

I just can't imagine the amount of headfucking your husband must have done to you to make you think this is even remotely appropriate op.

It's actually nuts. He must be a real horror.
Either that or he's a total pathetic pussy who chooses his frankly, vile friends, over you. And even still, that still makes him a headfucking twat as he must be running some ridiculous guilt trip to get you to 'ok' this (obvious fuckfest den of debauchery) trip.

It's gross.
He's gross.
Just like his gross friends.

I think either you go with him or he doesn't go.

I don't believe this is trustworthy behaviour.
I don't believe he is socially aware or emotionally intelligent tbh if he has no idea why this whole set up is odd.
Plus he is normalising shitty behaviour by choosing to stay in that group.

It's not just a lads weekend away if a girlfriend and her friends are going. That's a group event where they, including your husband, don't seem to want you. I would be seriously thinking why not?

OP honestly, take it from me- it's not the cheating you should be worried, per se- its the LACK of JUDGEMENT behind his behaviour- him thinking this is all fine is the concerning thing.
It's normalising it.

Tell him to grow up- He can celebrate his mate's birthday don't the pub when they're back.

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck. and quacks like a duck....
Sorry OP but this just isn't right.
My DP has lots of female friends (as i have male) and we both go away by ourselves but this would be a massive nope unless i was also going.
I can't believe he is even considering going knowing that you know what went on last time.
What would he say if you announced that you were going away with the girls and a group of random men you met on a trip (and some of the girls had been unfaithful with) ?

At first I was going to say that if you trust him it shouldn’t be an issue him going away but changed my mind cos actually I’d be annoyed at this. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my DH going away with a group of girls he met last year. I’m be more annoyed that he is disregarding your feelings on it just because he doesn’t want to miss out on a lads trip.

It's very odd, it's not a couples thing except for the "new couple", yet it's mixed, but the only women welcome are the new women? Yes?

Fuck that my H wouldn't be going.

He would suggest he celebrates the birthday in the local pub when they are back.

It's all a bit childish anyway grown ups needing group birthday trips away.

It's not a lads trip though is it?! It's a trip with women and men excluding @Sunseasand1

I just can't understand how you are ok not being invited? What is the difference between a wife and girlfriend exactly in this context???

How old are they and your husband?

Crackers, isn't it?
Group of blokes going away with a group of women they met and fucked last holiday and the good little wife is staying at home with her fingers in her ears going lalalala nothing weird about this nothing weird about this nothing weird about this I trust him.

Girls are mid 20s. The lads around 40. 🙄

Tell your DH you want to go if it's mixed sex now and watch his reaction

I mean im just thinking about the base morals...if I found out my friends were horrible scummy cheats, I wouldn't want to associate with them anymore. Now, maybe one friend had some convoluted circumstances that I could sorta sympathise with...but this guys just totally excused both of these guys AND wants to go on another holiday with them and the people they cheated with.

Like... helllllooo...moral fibre where art thou? Anywhere? Nope? Decency? Standards? Anything like that? Nope, not a shred of it.

People in your life are supposed to make you aspire to be better. Not drag you down into the shit. This guy is rolling in the gutter with these losers. Telling you it's normal! Sooner or later he's going to drag you down into to the mire with him.

Oh my days OP.

Please, trust me when I say that unfortunately, the company one keeps is very telling. It is the judgement- them thinking a) they have anything in common with 20yr olds is worrying b)cheating on their wives c)not inviting you

This is a semaphore of red flags!

Oh this makes it even worse.

Correct it’s not a lads trip

The lads around 40.

Really don't think the word "lad" applies to anyone over 35 max...

Tel him you're coming with him. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

OP an ex told me once he was in a club ( he was 44 at the time) and that a mate of his motorboated a young woman and got kicked out of club. I was shocked, he said he was too ( ex was in loo so did not witness), and that he (apparently) asked his drunk friend what happened that night but left it at that without any probing once mate said nothing happened.
He told me all this on our way to a wedding. I asked him who out of his mates was this- he said it was the groom!
WHAT THE-

Ex for a reason.