Husbands friendship group are cheaters

[Sunseasand1]

My husband has come back from a weekend away with friends and family last month, where one of the group ended up having an affair, which resulted in the end of his longstanding marriage, and a second friend cheated. None of this information was offered by my husband, who said he was trying to protect them.
I am certain my husband was faithful.
Problem being they are planning another weekend away with the group of girls they met, one of whom is now the new gf of his family member.
My husband is now the only member of the group with a wife, and doesn’t want to miss the weekend away with his family members, one of whom lives abroad. But surely I’m right to be worried and upset about this.

Absolutely not!!! You get like the company you keep and if your husband cannot fathom why you would be upset by this it speaks to his level of disconnect or he's fully playing along with his team. Shoe on the other foot? Would he happily let you take off with a bunch of your girlfriends and met a bunch of 20 something year old lads regularly, who several where having "situationships." Like get a grip and show your wife some respect!

Because he fancies a lads holiday with a group of single women they recently me who are half their age...

This! It’s not a lads holiday anymore

Go with them! If there's women there you should be there

@Sunseasand1 has had an abundance of feedback, but never returned to update. I do hope her H has seen the light and plans to swerve the next party weekend with the 20 year olds and their panting 40 year old groupies.

Lie down with dogs and you get up with fleas.

@Sunseasand1 you're uncomfortable with it because it's not ok. How would he feel about you going away with a group of 20 year old lads, some of whom have wrecked your cheating friends marriages 🤔. It's not a lads holiday, it's 40 odd year old men trying to cling on to 18-30's holidays with girls young enough to be their children 🤢 and honestly I'd be concerned he's comfortable going tbh.

OP, I hope that you took some of the advice on this thread and told your DH it’s not ok to go on this trip.

Sorry but I'd be going with them. If there's girls there as well as guys it's no longer a lads weekend. That way you can suss out the dynamic of the group and see what it's like. If they're pressurising each other to cheat then that's not a group you want hubby to be around no matter how faithful he is. It may well be that with the girls there, there will be additional pressure to "be one of the lads" and cheat. The fact he didn't pro-offer the details about the cheating also gives me the ick. Why would he hide that from you when he's been faithful?

What in the divorce court is going on here!

I Hope you find your self worth OP. This is so far from ok on many levels. I feel like you’re being manipulated into thinking this is alright and worry why that is.

things to ask yourself:

why did he cover up the cheating? You’re his wife, he has a duty to be honest with you first and foremost especially as main cheater was a family member!

as none of the men and women know each other that well, why is is being couched as an issue that you don’t know the girls? He doesn’t really know them either!

why does he even want to go? If he’s not shagging about, seriously, how can this holiday actually be deemed as a fun thing for a married guy?

how do you think he would react if you said you’d like to come? If it’s anything less than really pleased then you’ve got an issue regardless of fidelity.

Hmm yes that's suss and upsetting. If it's a mixed group trip, you should be invited, and the other wife too. What a weird concept that only this particular group of lads and girls can get together without trying to mix/merge with existing partners. Those guys are clearly trying to relive youth and your hubby seems to be caught in it. I'd have a serious talk with hubby about either you joining or him not going.
Or, casually inform him you'll go on a trip with girls and some random guys but he's not invited. See how he likes it 🤷

Exactly, go with them.

I agree tell him your going too and see his reaction if he isent happy you will know he's up to something

I wouldn’t want to go on holiday with that lot! But agree OP should have been invited.

It give an ultimatum. You go or no one goes.

I haven't RTFT though so apologies if this has been suggested.

And PP who quoted 'show me your friends, I'll tell you who you are' is SO accurate.

Him being around the behaviour and keeping dirty secrets like that means he condones the behaviour. If he condones the behaviour he's more likely to cheat than someone who doesn't.

Make of that what you will, but you deserve better.

The OP hasn’t been back in over a week 🤷‍♀️

I noticed this too. Maybe OP went on the holiday? If not hope they’re okay?

Oh Lord do they describe themselves as a "group of lads"? I mean, the name fits the behaviour I guess

What happened OP?

This has to be a joke 😂