I’m a British female going abroad with fiance and will marry him Islamically- anything I need to consider?

[Greyrabbit24]

My fiance and I are in our 20s. We are planning a visit abroad to his home country, which is Arab. We’ll be spending a day in his family’s home before travelling around the country on our own.

My fiance is not religious but his family is. We will be having a nikah, the Islamic wedding, it will be a small family thing where the imam comes to the home to give a short ceremony.

My fiance is not religious at all and this is more of a thing done to please his family.

We will be arriving late at their home so they’ve said it’s ok if we sleep together for this night as it’s one night before the nikah. I’m also aware that I’ll have to be very covered and my fiance suggested I cover my hair during the ceremony.

Just wondered if anyone had any experience with this? I’m expecting it to be a small easy thing- is there anything else worth considering? I want to be respectful to them but at the same time I don’t want to lose myself trying to please them. Thanks all!

Don't rush into anything. What country is this ? Is anyone from your family attending ? You're right the ceremony will be simple and easy but it literally will mean you're married islamically and for his family. I seriously would not rush into this . How long have you known this man ?

Are your parents concerned?.

Will you be having an additional civil ceremony in the UK?. If not why not?. A Nikah ceremony carries NO legal weight in English civil law because it’s only recognised as a religious ceremony.

Does he expect you to covert?. What about any children you may go onto have by him?. Where are you both going to live going forward?. How well do you know his family, will they expect you to support and or otherwise take care of them too?. These are but some of many questions I would be asking.

Check it will be legally recognised as a marriage in the UK as it may well not be.

have you checked the law? What does the ceremony mean in law? Do not sign anything in a language you don’t know. Sorry but I’m continually amazed what I see going on.

do you have children or plan to have them?

what citizenship does he have and what is yours?

Not recognised in uk law , also probably unusual you have their blessing to share a bed the day before you get married?
what is the reason you having the ceremony?

I would only do this if you have a legal marriage in the UK first.

Why are you doing this? Is it legally valid in his country? Are you planning to marry legally in the UK? Or am I misunderstanding and this nikah is just to allow you to share a bed while in his country on holiday?

Do you speak the local language? Do you have your own finances? Do you have a male relative traveling with you and your fiancé?

I would insist on a civil partnership or marriage done at the registry office BEFORE going abroad to do the religious wedding. Otherwise you could be in a tight spot of your fiancé refusing to get a legal marriage or partnership because “we are already married in the eyes of God and that’s what really matters” or some such.

It won't be considered legal here in the UK. Depending on which of you has put more into the marriage financially, this could work in your favour, or not, should you ever divorce.

We will be having a legal UK marriage later this year. This nikah ceremony is basically to please his family- they are religious and want my fiance and myself to be Islamically married before living and sleeping together ( he is hiding that we currently live together here in the UK). I am aware that the nikah bares no legal value

If you are being coerced into this I would speak to your fiance and hold off. Having a wedding of this sort to please his family is not the right reason if you do not intend to follow Islamic customs. Is it even legal in the UK?

Why wait? It’s less than £100 to do the legal bit here in the U.K.

If it's a country that recognises Sharia law, your Nikah is legal marriage, you are also considered married in the UK - it would carry legal weight. Is that your intention?

Please check the legal sitaution carefully. Some of the replies you have had so far are not (necessarily) accurate. The kind of ceremony you are describing would not be legally recogised as a marriage if performed in this country BUT if it is legally recognised in the country you are marrying in then it is likely to be a legally recognised marriage here too.

You need to be very clear on the legal consequences of this ceremony both where it is performed and here (assuming you are in England?). Don't do this just to please his family.

Advice to anyone getting married regardless of religion: Stay financially independent always. This enables you to stay in a marriage because you want too, not because you have too, and trust me, the difference between the two is humungous.

Keep your financial independence. You are so young and things aren't always what they seem.

Doing something that you don't want to do just to please your parent means that you are not mature enough to get married.

If you were my daughter I would do anything to persuade you not to go ahead with this.

I'm amazed they think it's OK for you to sleep together the night before. If they are so traditional, I think you are giving them a stick to beat you with.

So one is only mature enough to get married when they can hand on heart promise they will never do anything that pleases their parents but is no skin off their back? It sounds more like a recipe on being selfish and uncaring which isn’t a good attitude to take into a marriage!

Lying to your family, but then doing something you don’t agree with just to please them doesn’t bode well. How long have you been together and how old are both of you?

You’ve written recently about your fiancé, are you sure you want to go ahead with this?.

It bares no legal value in UK if done UK. Your marriage is legally recognised if it is recognised in that country iirc. Absolutely check that

Well it kind of is, when its a marriage

@Mia85 is correct. If it is a legal wedding on the country you are in then it is a legally valid marriage here: https://www.gov.uk/marriages-civil-partnerships-abroad

If it is just a "blessing" type ceremony in the way nikkah is seen legally in the UK then it is very different situation.

Be sure you know what you are doing and it's legal standing. The religious ceremony is simple but there are cultural variations depending on country so you may need to give more details of you want info on practicalities from that respect