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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you date someone (male) from the MET police?

229 replies

Givemeonegoodreason · 23/04/2024 21:51

Interested to know, would it be a non starter? I'm female and happy (lucky) to be single but might change it one day!

OP posts:
Sk8erboi · 23/04/2024 21:52

Why wouldn't you? They're not all raping, abusive bastards.
I think as with anyone, you get to know them and look out for any red flags. Ditch if they show any

shakeitoffshakeacocktail · 23/04/2024 22:07

I've avoided men from the military and from the police force. It's personal preference on dating sites who I choose to match with. In real life I would give them a chance but online it's a no.

It's the culture, and that their trained in how to be coercive, use force etc.
the amount of domestic abuse that gets covered up.

Yes there are some good ones in there but personally I avoid

Moier · 23/04/2024 22:09

Wouldn't ever date another cop.
I dated someone in CID..my gosh what an arrogant attitude he had " a know it all".

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 23/04/2024 22:10

shakeitoffshakeacocktail · 23/04/2024 22:07

I've avoided men from the military and from the police force. It's personal preference on dating sites who I choose to match with. In real life I would give them a chance but online it's a no.

It's the culture, and that their trained in how to be coercive, use force etc.
the amount of domestic abuse that gets covered up.

Yes there are some good ones in there but personally I avoid

This. Because I know someone who does and he’s horrid. Puts on a show in front of others and abuses alcohol.

Neverpostagain · 23/04/2024 22:14

I would be very wary. Not just the MET. Essex police are every bit as concerning. And TBF the women officers are no better. Bizarrely I have found the military much less aggressive. Obviously naplt

Almostwelsh · 23/04/2024 22:16

I avoid dating anyone in the police or military.

TitInATrance · 23/04/2024 22:17

Dated ex-MET cop. Biggest liar I’ve ever met, would say anything to achieve his ends, totally unreliable. Some evident PTSD from the job.

Never say never but I’d be very circumspect.

decionsdecisions62 · 23/04/2024 22:21

I would absolutely never date a policeman. It's against my principles.

Lamelie · 23/04/2024 22:23

Neverpostagain · 23/04/2024 22:14

I would be very wary. Not just the MET. Essex police are every bit as concerning. And TBF the women officers are no better. Bizarrely I have found the military much less aggressive. Obviously naplt

Ditto. Forces are surprisingly civilised.

FortyFacedFuckers · 23/04/2024 22:24

Not solely the MET but police in general.

As a PP said if it was online I would avoid but if it was someone that i knew in RL and they seemed ok I might be more open to giving them a chance. I. am sure they aren't all the same but all of the police officers I know (including women) are all extremely opinionated, argumentative & arrogant certainly not the types of people I would choose to be around.

Rockiepride · 23/04/2024 22:28

My partner was in the army for years before joining the police in CID, although he is now out of the force. He is the most stable, honest, trusting, loyal, kindest person I know. He knows how to protect, is intelligent, strong and every other quality you’d look for in a partner. I also happened to meet him OLD. There are good and bad people in all careers. Maybe I just found a diamond amongst rocks, but he’s by far the best human being I’ve ever been in a relationship with

BananaLambo · 23/04/2024 22:29

Never say never, but the police force in general is associated with a dogmatic, misogynistic, authoritarian culture, and I'm not inspired by those attributes.

Perfectlystill · 23/04/2024 22:30

Yes of course. Every profession has a few rotten apples. Doesn't mean they all are.

Deepdivesueandyou · 23/04/2024 22:30

there is a saying...

Fireman cheat, policeman beat.

Always proves true IME.

Face80 · 23/04/2024 22:32

No. I've had one encounter with the police in my whole life and now I hate the police as a whole. Maybe they aren't all bastards but I've seen no evidence of that.

BlondeFool · 23/04/2024 22:36

I'd be very wary. Maybe if I met in real life, probably not from online dating.

onionchild · 23/04/2024 22:54

I was married to a police officer, my brother is a police officer and I worked with the police (civilian) for years.

I would never date a police officer, from any force, ever.

betterangels · 23/04/2024 22:58

Nope. No police and no military,

NewName24 · 23/04/2024 22:58

I mean, the fact of working long shifts, rarely finishing on time, being in a role that meant your holiday could be cancelled at a moments notice, having little flexibility to swap shifts, would be a negative in my view (applies to most Doctors, some Nursing roles, most paramedics as well, not just police) would be a negative in my book - takes them off the 'ideal' list for a new partner, but which of us has a huge selection of 'ideal' potential partners (who also like us) for us to choose from ?

If you can put all that aside, then I wouldn't lump every employee together as if they were all the same, no. I'd get to know them as an individual.

bluebells89 · 24/04/2024 00:19

God no! I find them arrogant and feel the police force attracts a certain type of man. Also apparently affairs are rife amongst each other.

StrawberryWater · 24/04/2024 00:23

I have and never again!

I don't want to say they're all bad (my grandad was MET police and had an exemplary service record) but the dude who I dated was one of the bad ones.

Knew him for a while from uni. He was a bit of a shagger but never heard anything too bad. However I wasn't interested. He begged for a date and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer (hundreds of texts, turning up at my work with flowers, lots of compliments on social media - love bombing basically). Agreed on the date just to shut him up. Said date he proceeded to treat me like shit, call me ugly, said I was lucky he took a liking to me as no one else would and then chatted up the waitress (even implying to her he had a big dick). He was an utter asshole. Oh and he expected sex. I told him to get lost and never contact me again. Lots more texts and unwanted attention followed etc. I had to threaten him with telling his boss about his behaviour if he didn't leave me alone. Fucking psycho.

MegsNaiceJam · 24/04/2024 00:30

Based on past experience of dating a West Mids police officer, no. Also had a bad time with a military guy. So no police or military ever again - accepting that they aren’t all bad, I am not taking the risk.

Cadela · 24/04/2024 01:04

God no. My cousin recently joined the police, and yes he’s exactly the type you’d wish to avoid. I feel for his wife.

And it’s not a ‘few bad apples’ I’d say the majority of the police’s forces countrywide are bad apples, with a few good ones thrown in.

FlamingoFloss · 24/04/2024 01:07

Sk8erboi · 23/04/2024 21:52

Why wouldn't you? They're not all raping, abusive bastards.
I think as with anyone, you get to know them and look out for any red flags. Ditch if they show any

This.

Ponderingwindow · 24/04/2024 01:08

This is unfair to the upstanding officers, but I would probably not. I grew up in an abusive home. I have taken careful measures as an adult to make sure my child and I are safe and that we have an exit plan. Dating or marrying a police officer might make it harder to get assistance if I had to call and report my partner to the police because I would be reporting him to his friends and colleagues.

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