Would you date someone (male) from the MET police?

[Givemeonegoodreason]

Interested to know, would it be a non starter? I'm female and happy (lucky) to be single but might change it one day!

If they were nice, I’d give it a try. It sounds difficult to find anyone who is worth dating so I wouldn’t write them off on this basis alone.

They are all the individuals. I don't even know why it would put you off?

My dad was in the police, although not the MET. As a family it made things difficult. My mum had to find part time work that was flexible and fit around us kids and my dad's shifts. We often had to have Xmas day on another day because dad was working. We had to reschedule holidays because my dad was called up to court that week. We'd all have to be quiet if dad was on Nightshift and there were 4 kids in the house so you can imagine that was difficult. Then there was the nights he was on call and would have to get up in the middle of the night. It took its toll on my dad as well. Constantly flipping between day and night shifts and of course the stress that came with the job. He's seen some horrible things. A lot of police end up with PTSD and other mental health issues. My dad struggled with mental health when he retired from the police.

I know police officers get a bad rep because of affairs etc but my reasons for not dating a cop would be entirely different.

What drove them.tojoin? Power and control

Cynical? I think some people want to help. You could say the same about Drs.

Recruitment processes were outsourced meaning limited face to face interviews and background checks so more bad apples slipped through but I don't believe that anyone signing up for the services is inherently flawed.

I think I would avoid City Bankers first before services & police.

How many fireman and policemen have you dated to prove this theory true?!

I know a few policemen (and women) and most of them are complete arrogant arseholes (including the women).

This is so familiar! Went on an OLD with a copper and he chatted up the waitress. I went to the loo and they were still engrossed in flirty conversation when I came back. I genuinely think he forgot I existed. I picked up my things and left them to it without a word

He's not the only first date I've had with police, but they never make it to a second. PP was right I think it's a certain type of personality (male and female) that are drawn to the force.

Yes. Don’t read into the media, they’re not all murdering bastards!

I know a few policemen and they’re decent people, so I’d have no qualms on dating a policeman.

In a nutshell no.
My choice but I don’t need a man to have kids with or a man to rely on so I can be very choosey.
Not looking for a man either so that will affect my judgement.
If I was just looking for a bloke to shag and go on a date with then yes, no problem.
For a long term partner, no.

I knew someone in the Nuclear police. Applied to many forces and couldn't get in but was accepted by nuclear. He just LOVED carrying a weapon. Awful man

Help who? The police and military exist to protect the state first and foremost, and the people only insofar as we sign up to the status quo. The minute we threaten the status quo, we find that the police are not there to help us at all. Many middle-class white women discovered this for the first time at the Sarah Everard protests. As someone who's been on many protests for various issues over the years, one of the first things you learn is that the police are the enemy of any protestor.

No police and no military for me. Our values wouldn't align at all. Even the "good ones" (ie who aren't actively racist or misogynist, and who genuinely exist in a bubble where they're not affected by an institutionally racist and misogynist working culture) will probably have a conformist, traditional mindset that's opposed to what I believe.

It really is and there have been a few of them recently. I am married to a now retired police officer and my dad was also a 30 year service officer. These threads are started just as another way of police bashing.

I worked for the police as a civilian and yes there were officers I met that I didn't like or trust but the majority were decent human beings. I work in education now. There are some people I work with that I don't like and trust but the vast majority are good decent people.

These threads are tiresome now. If you don't like the police then go join and help change things. And now all the replies will come about what's the point in them joining because ........

Even aside from the fact that the majority of exposure I have to police behaviour is via the stories that get into the press - leaving a bit of a 'you don't have to be an dick to work here... but it helps' impression on me.

I think there are jobs and there are jobs.

The policeforce, like the military and some others, exposes people to inhumane levels of violence and anger and evil and I think it takes a special person not to be changed for the worse by it. Either through densensitisation (leading to their own boundaries moving in the wrong direction) or sensitisation (leading to depression, anger, etc).

Neither of those sound like they are good options for a partner for me. But, like a pp, I'm not looking for a partner and so that will affect my answer - because it would already have to be someone very special to change my stance.

My husband wanted to be a police officer from the age of 4- I'm not sure that was for the power and control 🙄.

He is kind and loving, we've been together 25 years. The government have shat on them from a height and he absolutely hates the job now and can't wait to retire.

When our children were babies shifts were great! Meant we could go out on days other than the weekend. It becomes worse once they are at school but it meant my husband had lots of time walking the children to school which other dads didn't get.

Days I work and he is on a rest shift my dinner is on the table.

Not all police officers are awful!!!

I was married to a soldier once. We were young. He's still a bit of a dick apparently but the only one he's harmful to is himself, he has just about enough brain cells to know not to eat himself.

The fireman? Fuck. The fireman ruined my life.

My lovely DH does not wear a uniform and is perfectly sane. Thank goodness.

*I was married to a soldier once. We were young. He's still a bit of a dick apparently but the only one he's harmful to is himself, he has just about enough brain cells to know not to eat himself.

The fireman? Fuck. The fireman ruined my life.*

I definately don't mean to trivialise your life which, no doubt, was hard and painful to go through but if a novel started this way - I would definately keep reading. Nice way with words

he has just about enough brain cells to know not to eat himself.

🤣🤣🤣

will probably have a conformist, traditional mindset that's opposed to what I believe

Again, a huge misunderstanding of many of the individuals within the police. The whole ethos of the new police education programme since 2016 has been to encourage free thinkers who will change things.

I definately don't mean to trivialise your life which, no doubt, was hard and painful to go through but if a novel started this way - I would definately keep reading. Nice way with words
Me too.

Very much depends, if I met a serving or ex police officer and we could have an intelligent debate about his concerns about institutional misogyny within the force or his sadness about the lack of trust in him based on recent and historical events I would definitely give him a chance.

If however he started telling me about how I wouldn't believe what x group (women, certain races etc) are really like and how people believe all this snowflake stuff but real life isn't like that and some people just need a slap, or how it's a disgrace his mate got done just for laughing at a homeless woman that had insulted him etc then it would be a hard pass.

I'm pretty sure there are decent people in the police but not sure they are in the majority.

The only 2 male policeman I have ever met were possibly psychopaths. The first definitely, scared me to death. I nearly wrote a post here years ago about the experience but honestly it sounded so bonkers I thought people would think I was a troll. The second policeman I actually called the non emergency number as I felt he was in stalking territory with me. The police said 'What do you want me to do about it?' So no. Personally I'd rather dip myself in honey and offer myself up to a bear than date a policeman.

Yes.

I did for 5 years. He was kind and good fun. In the end we were just going in different directions. I wanted children and he didn't.

But that didn't make him a bad person. He won three commendations and a Queen's medal before he retired.

You shouldn't tar everyone with the same brush.

I sincerely hope that none of the "police haters" on this thread never need help when they are in a dire situation.

TThey are usually first on scene at a bloody fight,, horrific Road accident, murder scenes, unexpected deaths, having to break news that a loved one has been killed in terrible circumstances.

Will drop everything and put all resources into a searching for a missing child.
But hell no, we don't need them
What a bunch of useless tossers.......

Not a bloody chance!