Would you date someone (male) from the MET police?

[Givemeonegoodreason]

Interested to know, would it be a non starter? I'm female and happy (lucky) to be single but might change it one day!

In-joke for the difference in culture between the services!

More seriously, the different services tend to have some differences because of the different ways they deploy - both in training/routine duties (away in a ship or submarine for months as normal pattern; usually at one location but sometimes bugger off for a long exercise; or perhaps be pampered with fluffy towels....)

But the biggest difference isn't between the services. It's between military and civilian.

The blue light services (and including trauma care medics) are arguably the nearest, and do have an element of putting themselves in harm's way and going that extra mile for others. But even though they can work long hours and need to stay beyond their hours, and sometimes have leave cancelled; they are generally in one place and not away for weeks at a time, and never mobilise to project force elsewhere. And if they do go to assist with disaster relief overseas, it's a volunteer, rather than being sent on 48 hours notice.

Edited to add:

The Navy sail the world, with thousand yard stares, and at at-oneness with the sea and the stars above it, which seafarers used, in days of yore, to navigate (the Navy is the Senior Service)

The Army are strange insanitary beasts, who can fight and sleep anywhere, including out in the field under stars (ka pongos, because where the army goes, the pong goes too)

The RAF stay in 4 star hotels and expect to be home in time for tea and medals. (Either that, or they're a bunch of garage mechanics).

I would discriminate, yes. I have had to deal with the British Transport Police over the years of working for TfL and in 22 years I've got on with only two or three. The rest were arrogant, uncaring and prejudiced.

I hate giving statements to Old Bill after something has happened. And I am never in a room with a copper on my own. Nope.

This….could’ve written it myself. My dad was in the MET for years. Good and bad in all walks of life 😊

You have to put this into context. Starting salaries were cut a number of years ago, zero recruitment for some time, crime levels up, no formal interviews. Result a total disaster and moral at an all time low.

No wonder there is a lack of perceived confidence in the Police plus the incompetence of the CPS and the lack of jail accommodation for those who get a jail sentence.

Using someone's profession as a red flag is more akin to random gambling and not a smart strategy.

Maybe, but what do you lose by being over-cautious rather than under-cautious about something that makes you wary? Nothing. Using someone's profession as a red flag does not stop you from looking out for other red flags in other people too. Nobody's saying 'I wouldn't date a police officer and that's my only red flag'. So why would it not be a smart strategy?

Why do you need others to justify your position though? If YOU don't want to date a police officer, don't. As you said yourself, you can choose who you want to date for whatever reason. But others don't need to agree it's a "smart strategy."

Just like if you decided "I'm not going to date anyone who can't do a cartwheel." Or "I'm not going to date anyone under 6 foot". Absolutely your decision, and you might have your reasons, but I'm entitled to think "that's a stupid reason to judge someone on."

Do you actually HAVE any evidence that 'Statistically, [police officers] are more likely than average to do X?' though? If I'm assuming X is 'behave badly towards women they are in a relationship with?' or something along those lines.

Or is your evidence based on 'there have been some articles in the press recently about police officers so I'm assuming those officers are a proportional representation of the role rather than those cases are in the news for multiple reasons?'

There are figures like this:

The conviction rate of police officers and staff for domestic abuse is 3.4%, lower than the 6.3% in the general population.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/mar/17/80-percent-of-uk-police-accused-of-domestic-abuse-kept-jobs-figures-show

This research, conducted in the US and looking at correlations between DV and occupation, is also interesting:

— Men in "physically violent occupations" (i.e. police, military, correctional) 43 percent higher;
— Men in "female-dominated occupations", 47% higher;
— Men in "dangerous occupations" (i.e., working with explosives, mining, emergency workers), 23% higher.

https://www.workplaceviolence911.com/docs/20030316.htm

The one about men in female dominated occupations is particularly disturbing. Some of them really hate us, huh?

Imagine spending your working day with women and feeling so enraged by it you have to go home and hit your wife. 😔

Yeah it’s a horrible statistic

I did go on a couple of first dates with met policeman pre covid, I'm only judging on a first meeting but neither of them seemed the least bit sleazy, very respectful and polite, didn't go in for a kiss, a bit too nice, they weren't for me so I didn't see them again. A few have committed awful crimes that have been in the press and tbh it would make me think twice if I was dating now, I guess you never know especially with online dating who they really are, you have to be on your guard with anyone. As for being cheats, well m

Men from all professions could do that. There's worse professions I would avoid.

"The Hidden Extent of Police Misconduct and Domestic Abuse Allegations:
The figures reported, concerning as they are, likely represent just the tip of the iceberg. Under-reporting and data inconsistencies suggest higher incident numbers. The National Police Chiefs’ Council (NPCC) has indicated that these reported cases amount to 0.7% of the police workforce as of March 2022."

that doesn't show that male police officers are more/less likely than men in general to abuse their partners though, does it?

and neither does fickleflint's. Albeit it is of course highly concerning that convictions for officers are lower, that doesn't mean that the acts committed are higher, those are 2 completely different things!

Hell no.

One of my oldest and dearest friends joined the Met and her H joined about ten years later and he is the stereotype. HAted that she was successful and did so well, hated she outranked him, emotionally abused her and then eventually had an affair with a woman he met in the course of an investigation. AFAIK nothing was done. She is very happily remarried.

Nope. Two close friends married police officers (both met) and they are absolute wankers (one divorce so far, next very close). Cousin also about to break up with one.

There's a reason they've had to establish a unit to investigate themselves. Look at the stats around police and abuse. It's astounding.

ACAB. What makes a person want to be a cop? Predators.

Yes I would.
I have personally known 3 completely solid ones, and they were all very senior in the Met.
I think you have to go by an individuals merit. There are scumbags in all walks of life.

Bullies and control freaks .

I did, for 5 years.

He was kind, generous, funny, gentle, interesting, good to be with. They aren't all Wayne Couzens.

What makes a person want to be a cop?
It varies. Some people join because they like to exert power over others. A better recruitment, vetting and training programme could stop this (along with less pressure from government to recruit more officers regardless of who they are).
Others, like DH, joined to protect the vulnerable. And he does. Day in, day out. Every time a terrible story comes out about a police officer he questions why he stays but each time I remind him how much good he’s done and how much good he can keep doing if he stays. I’m very, very proud of him.

Wtf?
No, that is not a saying

Yes of course I would.