**Partner (M40) masturbates all hours and wakes me (f35) up**

[Bathmonkey]

Partner (M40) masturbates all hours and wakes me (f35) up
So we moved in together a few months ago and I slept really badly because I was being woken up in the night and early in the morning by partner playing with himself. I asked if he wanted more sex, which he says he doesn't. I do want more (2-3 times a week isn't enough) but I get exhausted easily (health condition) and can struggle with pain so want to have sex before 10pm which is when I'm too tired as we have to get up early for work the next day. He doesn't like morning sex (when I have more energy) because then he's too tired for work. On the nights that we don't have sex he waits until I'm asleep (probably snoring) and masturbates which wakes me. When I stir (stop snoring or move) he stops and waits and looks over his shoulder to check I'm asleep. This cycle can carry on for a good hour or so, stopping and starting. It got so disruptive to my sleep that I moved out to another room. I miss my partner. I miss sex. I feel like we're drifting apart. I now knock when I go to hug him in the mornings as I don't want to walk in on him having his private time. He acts really sheepish if I don't knock. Is this something that I just have to live with?

So do women. They also watch porn.

I think the issue is more he’s waking OP up with his five knuckle shuffle and doesn’t want sex with her when it suits her because it doesn’t suit him.

Don’t sound very compatible in the bedroom?

I couldn’t lay next to someone who was doing this, hell no. Phone in one hand, cock in the other. It’s erm “private time”. It may be done, but I don’t need to know!

When my cat started doing that I found a spray with water stopped him. He was taken to the vet to be neutered soon after. I’m assuming your DP won’t agree to having his balls cut off, but a quick spray in the face every time he does it might break the habit?

He's grim 🤮
And your standards are on the floor

Urgh another woman so desperate for a man that she inflicts him upon her children.
He is a disgusting man for doing this so openly. What mother brings a man like this into her kids home?

@AE9766 most men certainly do need to.

Masturbating has been linked to so many health benefits, distressing and longevity that suggesting they don't need to is akin to suggesting they don't need to exercise or eat well. It's a need.

@canyouletthedogoutplease

You really fund men and sexuality repulsive don't you

This reminds me of Charlotte and Trey in Sex and The City. It’s not nice OP.

So has a nice Merlot. What's your point?

Distressing or destressing ? Yes masturbation is healthy but excessively masturbating whilst in your bed is not.

Yawn.

Fuck me, this is one of the worst threads I've ever read on here. And that's saying something.

Talk about being desperate.

A person can wank as much as they like, but they shouldn't bother others with it.

Your right to swing your willy ends just where the other person's personal space begins. If you're disturbing someone you're supposed to care about's sleep, you're behaving badly.

If he is caring. Why isn't he going in another room? Ask him? Not to be rude OP but 1 hour? Wow.

He's making you feel rubbish in the first place, AND you're unhappy with your sex life. Two great reasons to leave right there.

He's so kind, sweet and loving that he puts his wanking above your need for sleep and your comfort. He sounds lovely.

Do you know how ridiculous it sounds that you have to knock on the door of your own bedroom in case he's having a wank?

Some women's bars are set ridiculously low.

Oh do shut up 😂 I'm a woman and masturbate once or twice a day, every day, because I have a high sex drive.

Oh do shut up 😂 I'm a woman and masturbate once or twice a day, every day, because I have a high sex drive.

Blimey. When do you get anything else done 😂

That's what my boyfriend says 😂

Christ, fancy waking you up wanking. He does have control over his own body! He should at least go in to a different room if he’s that compelled to offload.

Is this something that I just have to live with?

Ew, no!

Honestly his actions are probably just the tip of the iceberg. He probably does all kinds of creepy, disgusting, pervert stuff online. Not just looking at girls and masterbating. You would probably be deeply disturbed if you went digging. At least, that was the experience I had with my ex. But even if there isn't more going on under the surface - the behaviour you are already regularly witnessing is more than enough to want to end it.

I don't know how you still feel like you love him - he is utterly disrespectful to you in multiple ways and clearly doesn't give a toss about your feelings or how his actions impact your relationship. The reason/excuses for this behaviour are irrelevant. This will eat away at you and eventually destroy you. Start seeing him for the creep he is, get the ick and get out of this cruddy relationship. This isn't even a real relationship, as healthy ones do not function like this. The only relationship he has is with his hand. You deserve better.

LTB.

He's got a sex addiction.
He does it compulsively and cannot stop.

It's not normal.

Thing about addicts is, their mind is always on when the next fix is.

He probably starts thinking about his next wank hours before he does it, and lines up 'good' pictures.

They use masterbation to get the high to cope with feelings they don't want to feel.

Now you are having to shape your life around it in order to accommodate it.

So he does not want to have more sex with you but the selfish git keeps you awake half the night waking, dirty bastard. How is he loving and caring if he keeps you awake all night. Would gross me right out. Two choice, put up with it or move out. I would be running out the door.

This is just grim. Sorry OP but this is not normal behaviour at all.

I agree with other comments but you have stated times when you want sex as you’ll be tired otherwise but the times you have suggested he has said he will be tired…..find some common ground

Find the courage to get rid