**Partner (M40) masturbates all hours and wakes me (f35) up**

[Bathmonkey]

Partner (M40) masturbates all hours and wakes me (f35) up
So we moved in together a few months ago and I slept really badly because I was being woken up in the night and early in the morning by partner playing with himself. I asked if he wanted more sex, which he says he doesn't. I do want more (2-3 times a week isn't enough) but I get exhausted easily (health condition) and can struggle with pain so want to have sex before 10pm which is when I'm too tired as we have to get up early for work the next day. He doesn't like morning sex (when I have more energy) because then he's too tired for work. On the nights that we don't have sex he waits until I'm asleep (probably snoring) and masturbates which wakes me. When I stir (stop snoring or move) he stops and waits and looks over his shoulder to check I'm asleep. This cycle can carry on for a good hour or so, stopping and starting. It got so disruptive to my sleep that I moved out to another room. I miss my partner. I miss sex. I feel like we're drifting apart. I now knock when I go to hug him in the mornings as I don't want to walk in on him having his private time. He acts really sheepish if I don't knock. Is this something that I just have to live with?

I despair! Are you so desperate for a man that anyone will do?

He was looking at pictures of women in the front room before. I've told him to stop that and as far as I know he has. He thought it was normal? I have children I've said to stop that shit immediately.

Seriously fucking grim. He knows it’s not normal but he’s pushing your boundaries. And you’ve got kids in the house?? Absolutely no way is that acceptable behaviour.

So this kind sweet and loving man openly ogles women in front of you, wanks watching porn laying next to you and refuses to stop even though you’ve told him it’s an issue?? Leaving isn’t just an option it’s a priority - he’s repulsive

This can't be real.

You have poor health and he's regularly waking you up because knocking one out while looking at other women on instagram - yet you want to stay because he's so lovely "apart from this".

Jesus wept. I think that's enough internet for me today 😭

My ex was grim. I hate what this OP's excuse of a partner is doing, and my ex would know that and he would use it to try to control me. I didn't really want sex with him towards the end but he would sulk and moan and whine and create if I said no at night and even then he would want it again in the morning, waking me up. Even if I had sex with him again he would then start doing what this man is doing in front of me to try and guilt trip me. It was horrible.

Move back into the room - insist on having sex when you want it & call him out on him waking you ever. Single. Time.

If you still like his personality in 6 months then your sorted if he changes or becomes bitter he's not the man for you.

His 'personality' is purely what he can get away.

This makes me feel sick.

OP your bar is so low, you’ve tripped yourself up. Read what you’ve posted then bin him with all his tissues( assuming he uses them instead of your sheets!!)

Are you saying no one in a relationship should be masturbating?

I think the this is a problem you have. Not the masturbator.

Waking people up is not on but suggesting that it's weird to masturbate in a relationship is suggestive of sexual hang ups.

I'm so saddened by the words used to describe masturbation here.
Disgusting
Revolting
Sick
Vile
Weird
Repulsive

Waking your partner up is not at all acceptable but the language used here is a real insight into what women feel about masturbation age sexuality.

Masturbation is normal and healthy and a very good way to relax and self soothe. It releases whole host of beneficial hormones.

Doing it in a manner that is disturbing others sleep is not ok but the language used here makes it clear that many women find the mere thought of a man masturbating to be something abhorrent

@MillshakePickle

Why had he turned down more sex in favour of his right hand?

Has the OP said this? I read that the OP would like more sex but can't because she gets exhausted not because he won't

Literally no one has said that. No one. Unless I missed it.

No one has said masturbating in itself are any of those words.

Everyone has said that the manner in which the ops partner is choosing to do a perfectly healthy thing, are indeed all of those words.,

Insist on sex? You mean like force him to have sex with her? That's all kinds of fucked up, abusing and controlling.

The way he's doing it is disgusting, not the act of masturbating itself!!!

He's not the one who is too tired. It's OP who is too tired.

Just because you love him it doesn’t mean you have to put up with that every bloody night
move back out so he can wank to his hearts content and you can find a more respectful guy

What have I read? This is appallingly behaviour - not the wanking per se but how his sexual behaviour is being allowed to take place without any acknowledgment of other peoples boundaries and quite frankly, common decency.

Get rid of this awful man. He prioritises his sexual urges over you and your children.

Man wanks himself off in a shared bed with a 'sleeping' female whos physically uncomfortable but hes in a relationship = acceptable

Woman insists on having sex with a man she's in a sexual relationship with or ends the relationship = sexual offender

My reading comprehension is absolutely fine. The op would like more sex before 10 pm. I was working under the presumption that when she offered more sex or to initiate more, it would have been at an earlier time or time that could work for both of them.

The op has offered alternatives, is my understanding, and he has not/won't do this.

Not sure what the point of your post is?

Are you hard of reading? Literally NO ONE has used those words to describe masturbation - not a single person.

the language used here makes it clear that many women find the mere thought of a man masturbating to be something abhorrent

You’ve actually made that bit up because no one has said anything of the sort so it’s not ‘clear’ at all

That’s not the issue - the PP’s are all very clear about what they’re saying so not sure why you don’t get that?

But just to repeat once again -

Wanking - absolutely normal

Wanking watching porn next to your sleeping partner constantly waking them up, refusing to have sex because he’s too tired in the mornings and saying no when asked to want in another room so she can get some sleep plus watching porn the living room with kids in the house - not fucking normal

Hope that helps with your comprehension

Please re read the entire thread. You've got this 100% wrong.

I don't know a single woman who would dispute the benefits of masturbating, and shock, horror most women do as well. Some even use porn. I know truly shocking stuff.

The thing that's disturbing, vile, repulsive and the rest is the fact that this man is getting off over other women, whilst next to his sleeping partner...I wouldn't ever dream of laying there and flicking my bean, while H was next to me asleep. Although, I probably could. Nothing short of the apocalypse would wake him.

You're reading what you want to see from this thread.

Absolutely bizarre response from you

Read the OP - he’s too tired for morning sex. Probably because he’s awake half the night watching porn and wanking

The responses from @burnttoad are so utterly bizarre...could @burnttoad be the ops 'partner' trying to gaslight? (And just embarrassing himself in the process)

There tends to be a real revulsion towards male masturbation, particularly on here, but they all do it.

No that doesn't make it clear.
You're just assigning your own meaning to it and running with that.

He probably wouldn't be too tired in the morning if he wasn't wanking all night!