**Partner (M40) masturbates all hours and wakes me (f35) up**

[Bathmonkey]

Partner (M40) masturbates all hours and wakes me (f35) up
So we moved in together a few months ago and I slept really badly because I was being woken up in the night and early in the morning by partner playing with himself. I asked if he wanted more sex, which he says he doesn't. I do want more (2-3 times a week isn't enough) but I get exhausted easily (health condition) and can struggle with pain so want to have sex before 10pm which is when I'm too tired as we have to get up early for work the next day. He doesn't like morning sex (when I have more energy) because then he's too tired for work. On the nights that we don't have sex he waits until I'm asleep (probably snoring) and masturbates which wakes me. When I stir (stop snoring or move) he stops and waits and looks over his shoulder to check I'm asleep. This cycle can carry on for a good hour or so, stopping and starting. It got so disruptive to my sleep that I moved out to another room. I miss my partner. I miss sex. I feel like we're drifting apart. I now knock when I go to hug him in the mornings as I don't want to walk in on him having his private time. He acts really sheepish if I don't knock. Is this something that I just have to live with?

If you read the OP properly mornings are better for her. Except he would then be too tired to work.

Are you some like minded bloke coming out in sympathy by any chance 🙄

No. No they don't. They might feel horny, just like a woman might, but it will go away eventually. They don't have to wank.

Wanking next to your sleeping partner IS vile, disrespectful and gross.

Then refusing sex because too tired? Yeah this dude is gross and clearly has a porn addiction.

LTB

Part of male entitlement is that women owe men sex because they need to orgasm. It's a myth and pure misogyny.

Lots of men have little or no sex drive. Lots of men don't masturbate at all.

The "need to wank" narrative is nonsense bs.

This has honestly made me feel sick , I feel so sorry for you OP

If you believe that then do you also think they have to sit in the front room looking at pictures of women?

@SwordToFlamethrower yes indeed, along with all the blue balls nonsense.

A friend (yes, honestly) just went through this

He couldn't get hard without porn

Rarely finished - Google 'death grip'

Edged all day

Watched porn on the bus - at work - in the pub - you name it

Whacked off at work (knew all the work toilets / showers etc)

Jesus wept, where do you get this crap from 🙄

I know others have said it but no one has said wanking is disgusting. What is disgusting is wanking twice a day next to your sleeping partner, waking them up and disturbing their sleep, while looking at girls on Instagram. It’s disrespectful and it would upset me if my partner was looking at insta pics of other women while wanking over them next to me. I know they wouldn’t be realistically, but they are more obtainable than say porn, porn is an actress and it is fantasy.

He isn’t considering your needs, and I don’t just mean sexually. He isn’t respecting your need for sleep and boundaries either.

OP why don’t you buy a noisy dildo and whack it on full every morning and see how he likes being woken up by that?

Before you moved in I assume you stayed overnight with each other, if so did this happen then?

I'm always amazed at what dreadful behaviour some women tolerate. He has no respect for you.

I hope she left him what a loser.

It sounds like he hasn't adjusted well to living with other people. I'm guessing he didn't think through what you all moving in together was going to mean for his habits and routines. He's still behaving like he did when he was alone.

Are your children living with him too? Did they notice him looking at porn in the living room? Have they not questioned why you are sleeping in a different room after only 6 months?

It's time to leave, with your children. Keep dating, but you shouldn't live together if he continues to be so disrespectful and uncaring (and selfish).

You need to cause a scene. Sorry.

Tell him how gross his behaviour is and kick him out your room. Make it plain the relationship is over if it happens again.

OP why don't you buy a noisy dildo and whack it on full every morning and see how he likes being woken up by that?

Yes absolutely do this!!

You too have drunk the Kool-aid.
This is bollocks. Take a hard look at whomever convinced you of this.

Tell me you're not very good at doing the thinking, without telling me you're not very good at doing the thinking.

Men have no more biological need to masturbate than women. You can tell yourself otherwise to excuse your shitty behaviour and prioritise your pleasure and comfort above that of women's, if you like, but it doesn't make it true.

There is no more urgency to a man's wank than a woman's. This is one of of a scale, the other end being men wanking on public transport because, they need to.

You are part of the problem.

@canyouletthedogoutplease Having been faced with a man wanking on public transport, I can tell you you can never unsee it.

@canyouletthedogoutplease tell us you know nothing about men without telling us you know nothing about men

Fact is, men across all cultures masturbate more than women. There are a variety of potential resonance but they are immaterial to most discussions as the frequency and duration is greater and longer on average in men than women

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9794105/

Men of all cultures masturbate more frequently and for longer duration than woman

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9794105/

Of course they do but the behaviour of the OP partner isn't acceptable or normal.

That's not you doing thinking, that's you quoting some crap flawed research based on anecdotes.

More men than women report lifetime masturbation and recent masturbation; also, men report more frequent masturbation as compared to women

If you stay with it a little bit longer, how did they collect the data about the masturbatory habits of men vs women? Can you think of any other reasons why this might be the case?

You assert that "Men of all cultures masturbate more frequently and for longer duration than woman" To be factual, that statement would need to change that the men surveyed state that they masturbate more frequently and for longer duration than women.

Anyway, back to the matter in hand, no pun intended, one man is so delighted with the length and frequency of his masturbation that he does it in bed next to his woman preventing her from sleeping. Nice one. Slow clap.

There are a variety of potential resonance but they are immaterial

Not quite sure what you mean here, resonance would be more apt used in relation to something vibrating and I'm not sure that's what he's into.

That doesn't mean they need to.

I mean, men generally watch more football than women too, but it's not a need.