Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Think tomorrow is the day - leaving emotional abuse

179 replies

CandyColouredEggshells · 12/04/2024 21:46

Not sure if anyone has seen my other post, I’ve been speaking to a DA charity and planning on doing a “moonlit flit” and I have a window of opportunity tomorrow which I don’t know when I’ll get again.

I’m feeling so, so guilty right now, I just don’t know how I’m going to do it. Practically I’m 100% there but so scared! Keep on replaying all the times I’ve tried to leave before and the heartbreaking things he’s said to me in the past eg “don’t you want to grow old with me?” between sobs. Honestly don’t know how anyone ever has the strength to go through with this 😩😩

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 01/06/2024 16:41

You rant as much as you like !

don't see any emotion/s to him

he doesn't need to know you are dancing around the kitchen in joy at him begging to move on

or weeping into your pillow that he is moving on

AcrossthePond55 · 01/06/2024 21:13

@CandyColouredEggshells

Asking for more of the house proceeds (if for no other reason than because you'll be disadvantaged by the debt HE incurred) isn't going 'cap in hand' to him. It's getting what you deserve to start your new life in the best possible financial position. You may not 'need it' to start your new life, but it will make that new life easier. Nothing wrong with that. I think you're just so used to putting his 'needs' first that you aren't adequately considering your own.

When you (or your solicitor) says "We/I want more % from the house proceeds" that's not 'asking', that's telling. Where it goes from there, you'll have to negotiate and see. And by the time that time comes around he'll already be 'stirred up' about something or other, I'd bet my bottom dollar on it.

I hate to sound like Ms Bossypants, but you need to work on getting yourself out of this fear of him. Because you share a child, he may be around for a long, long time and you don't want to spend those years kowtowing to him out of fear.

RandomMess · 01/06/2024 22:42

Ask for 60% "concede" down to 55% and let him think he's won!

If you are housing your child and sacrificed your career etc it's usual to get slightly more.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page