Think tomorrow is the day - leaving emotional abuse

[CandyColouredEggshells]

Not sure if anyone has seen my other post, I’ve been speaking to a DA charity and planning on doing a “moonlit flit” and I have a window of opportunity tomorrow which I don’t know when I’ll get again.

I’m feeling so, so guilty right now, I just don’t know how I’m going to do it. Practically I’m 100% there but so scared! Keep on replaying all the times I’ve tried to leave before and the heartbreaking things he’s said to me in the past eg “don’t you want to grow old with me?” between sobs. Honestly don’t know how anyone ever has the strength to go through with this 😩😩

Cats Protection LifelineWebsite: https://www.cats.org.uk/what-we-do/cp-lifeline

Regional Contacts
London/South East – [email protected] / 0345 260 1280
Yorkshire – [email protected] / 0300 012 0187
East Anglia – [email protected] / 0300 012 0283
Midlands – [email protected] / 0300 012 0284
Pets fostered: Cats Protection Lifeline offers a free confidential cat fostering service for people fleeing domestic abuse. Cats are placed in volunteer foster homes, treated as a family pet until they are able to be reunited with their owner. Cats must be over 6 months of age.
How to access scheme: Referrals are taken from agencies and/or direct from the owner, provided they supply confirmation that they are fleeing domestic abuse and going into refuge/emergency accommodation – eg. a letter from social worker, police, support worker or temporary housing provider.

Good Luck !

take that window of opportunity !!!

Hoping for you that it all goes smoothly. Keep the faith that you are doing the right thing for you and your kids. I hope you manage to sort the dog too if it's not too much work on top of all the other things.

Thank you so much for the info about pets, it’s relieved a huge amount of stress, knowing there are charities that will foster pets if for example “D”H says he won’t care for them, I suspect the real issue will be him agreeing to give them back though

You’re strong OP, and you’re doing the right thing. Sometimes you have to have a little mantra. What helped me, and I told my friend and it helped her, was something my therapist said to me - “everything he says, whether good or bad, is a form of manipulation”. This was true of my EXH, and it helped me not to be drawn in by his begging and pleading. It was like putting on a pair of glasses that showed subtitles of his real meaning. There can be nothing an abuser says that becomes true and good, that is worth giving up your reality for. You’ve been abused and you deserve freedom and happiness, no crying should be enough to make you put that pain to one side. He had his chance and his choice was to abuse. Give yourself the chance now, you and your kids, to be happy. If you can take the dog you’ll be happier I think, but also you and the kids have to be the priority. I’d also be tempted to give some kind of defined timescale of when he can see the kids via a note, so you can no contact for a bit. Lay out terms/date so you can not have him pleading about not seeing them. He still will, but then you can know that you’ve told him ‘you’ll see X on such and such day and before then I will not be communicating with you” type thing. Not sure if that’s the done thing, but I think set dates and then distance will help you if you’re worried about him emotionally manipulating you.

Good luck tomorrow OP.

Just follow the plan, one step at a time.

You can do this.

Thank you, this is my plan but I am very worried about him turning up at school 😳

Stay strong and do it..
I use to lay awake at night planning my escape.. but mine was in heat of the moment.. l got my 4 year old daughter out of bed in pj's.. packed one bag as quick as l could and was trying to run out of the door.. but he hit me and wouldn't let me get my shoes.. l did manage to get out and run to the train st at back of our house with no shoes on and catch the train to my mums.. l walked from the station in just socks and daughter in pj's for 30 mins.. Best thing l ever did...apart from one night 3 months later he came into my city and l had gone for a drink with some friends.. he found me and started following me.. we tried to get away.. l was just about to tell a policeman when he threw me under a moving bus and left me for dead.. l was left disabled and he got jailed for attempted murder..( my daughter isn't his thank god).

Thank you, this is my plan but I am very worried about him turning up at school 😳

Oh I can imagine, get yourself out and safe in the first instance. And go from there. I think get physically away, and then look at filing a report with police and contacting women’s aid etc.

I don’t know the full ins and outs of the legalities, but my husband wasn’t arrested after we split, I only had a police report but no arrest. I told the school not to let him pick the kids up and I told him that I’d done that and to pick them up would cause an unnecessary scene and police would be called. He then didn’t attempt because his public persona was his thing. This is just a thought, of course I don’t know the full details of your situation, just thinking out loud. Everyone on this thread is here for you OP and ready and willing to give ideas and advice and hand holds as much as any people on the internet can. I don’t know you and yet I know you can do this! ❤️

You can do this OP, you are strong and resilient. Thinking of you

Don’t forget your passport
and
birth certificate
and DC passports and birth certificates

Hope everything is ok OP xx

So many people on here rooting for you

Update us when you can - you have got this

Hope everything okay OP rooting for you♥️♥️

Good luck , it's hard but so worth it.

I really wish the best for you and your DC. 💐💐💐

Cat protection life line charity uk

Is also another charity that helps women with pet cats 🐈 fleeing domestic abuse situations too...

@CandyColouredEggshells

Cat protection life line charity contact details are on Internet.

Refuge charity can also should know and can pass on contact details of cats protection life line charity too..

I hope everything goes to plan & you get out

Good morning. This is your day to start afresh. Gird those loins and seize the day(to talk in cliches). Seriously, I hope you manage to break free today and are safe. Good luck.

Good luck today. Do your children know the plan re leaving?
Wishing you all the best

Good luck for today

Wanted to send you some love and strength for today. I did this, had leave the dog - short term, I got her back. Take all documentation you'll need. It's a tough decision to make and there will be difficult times ahead but it does get better.

Good luck OP we're all thinking of you.

If you really want to take the dog, please do so. It's amazing how fast help wraps around you and how flexible people are to help once they realise what you've escaped. Lots of people will come out the woodwork offering help with dog x

Good luck today OP 💐
The greatest gift you’ll ever give yourself is your freedom. Nearly there.