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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Think tomorrow is the day - leaving emotional abuse

179 replies

CandyColouredEggshells · 12/04/2024 21:46

Not sure if anyone has seen my other post, I’ve been speaking to a DA charity and planning on doing a “moonlit flit” and I have a window of opportunity tomorrow which I don’t know when I’ll get again.

I’m feeling so, so guilty right now, I just don’t know how I’m going to do it. Practically I’m 100% there but so scared! Keep on replaying all the times I’ve tried to leave before and the heartbreaking things he’s said to me in the past eg “don’t you want to grow old with me?” between sobs. Honestly don’t know how anyone ever has the strength to go through with this 😩😩

OP posts:
Spencer0220 · 13/04/2024 15:17

Well done.

He may not have been abusive to DD, but she was still living in that environment. It's crazy what energy kids pick up on. Please be careful with school pick ups and drop offs. He might try and turn up at those.

Spencer0220 · 13/04/2024 15:18

Sparklfairy · 13/04/2024 14:12

The wait for him to realise will be tough OP, but don't be surprised if he doesn't even acknowledge you've gone. Sometimes these men explode, but other times they stubbornly refuse to give away any perceived 'power' and would rather leave you stewing waiting for him to get in touch. That's how they see it anyway.

Try and distract yourself in any way you can.

This is a really good point

rockingbird · 13/04/2024 15:50

Well done OP. I remember so vividly driving away with a car load of stuff thinking is this real. The next few weeks will certainly test you but stand firm and write down the top 5 reasons you left - I still have mine and read them when I'm having a wobble. It's a good reminder! As pp has said, don't be surprised if he doesn't get in contact straight away, yet another twisted form of control .. step away from your phone, distract yourself as much as possible and most importantly be proud of yourself for taking such a big step forward into your new life.

imgonnalooseit · 13/04/2024 15:52

Well done OP have you got any family you can contact for some support? Instead of sitting in hotel alone x

ConfusedNoMore · 13/04/2024 16:05

Top tip right now.... Get a PAYG phone. Block your exh on YOUR phone and give him the new number. Only switch it on as and when it's necessary.

Id prepare yourself for your phone to ring off the hook when he realises so switch it off if you can.

10 years on. Exh still has a special phone just for him. He's largely behaved himself lately but I still don't want him on my normal phone.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 13/04/2024 16:29

Spencer0220 · 13/04/2024 15:17

Well done.

He may not have been abusive to DD, but she was still living in that environment. It's crazy what energy kids pick up on. Please be careful with school pick ups and drop offs. He might try and turn up at those.

If he has parental responsibility, he is able to go and pick them up at any time so tell the school what is happening and ask them to call you if he tries.

AcrossthePond55 · 13/04/2024 16:48

@CandyColouredEggshells

Oh, well done!!! Welcome to your new bright future!

As far as DD, there will soon be a 'new normal' for her with her father living 'elsewhere' and she'll settle into it. There are probably just as many children with divorced parents in her peer group as there are children with two parents in the same home. She'll find her way with your love and support, both of which I know are in endless supply.

Just take it a day at a time and try not to fret about his reaction. Whatever it is, you won't be there to see it. Just remember that nasty, hollering phone calls can be ended with just the press of a button and doors can be shut with him on the outside.

zeibesaffron · 13/04/2024 16:53

You are amazing - it will be fine and eventually it will be bloody fantastic. I appreciate he is a good Dad, but a good Dad does not abuse his wife/ partner/ Mum of his children.

Keep going, keep looking forward and if you ever have a wobble or a moment come back here - we have you xx

CandyColouredEggshells · 13/04/2024 17:44

Well I’m actually stunned, I read a couple of pp’s about not acknowledging they’d gone and thought “no way”

Well I’ve just called him because I thought I might be sick if I didn’t get it over with and he was already home, had noticed I wasn’t there but didn’t think anything untoward (the car was packed with allsorts; things like my cats ashes, DD’s school bag, about 10 pairs of shoes, how he didn’t think anything was off I don’t know). He was surprisingly calm, I feel very unnerved.

OP posts:
Mumofoneandone · 13/04/2024 17:50

CandyColouredEggshells · 13/04/2024 17:44

Well I’m actually stunned, I read a couple of pp’s about not acknowledging they’d gone and thought “no way”

Well I’ve just called him because I thought I might be sick if I didn’t get it over with and he was already home, had noticed I wasn’t there but didn’t think anything untoward (the car was packed with allsorts; things like my cats ashes, DD’s school bag, about 10 pairs of shoes, how he didn’t think anything was off I don’t know). He was surprisingly calm, I feel very unnerved.

Stay strong - he might be reacting this way as he's genuinely not bothered or it could be more games.......
Make sure you have someone you can contact if you feel you want to contact him/go back to make sure you stick to your resolve. Everyone is very vulnerable at this stage in the proceedings. If you are really concerned about him, contact the police to do a welfare check. DO NOT GO BACK YOURSELF.

unsync · 13/04/2024 18:03

Well done for leaving. He will still be messing with you, in fact more so as he realises that he is losing control of you, so it is likely that his abusive behaviour towards you will increase if you do contact him. You no longer need to appease him so block him, at least for the timebeing, and try not to think about what he is doing.

Focus on you and your child, and the immediate tasks you need to carry out. Stay strong, you can do this.

isitbananatimealready · 13/04/2024 18:07

Well done OP, stay strong and block him now, at least for the time being. He might have sounded calm, but it probably hasn't sunk in yet that you actually properly mean it.

Temporaryname158 · 13/04/2024 18:08

You left before and returned so he’ll be planning all the same tactics he used last time to achieve that.

block him and report his abuse to the police

cracktheshutters · 13/04/2024 18:41

CandyColouredEggshells · 13/04/2024 14:04

Well, I LTB.

Currently sat in a hotel anxiously waiting for him to notice I’m gone, I have moments of being happy/relieved but overall I feel sick.

Telling DD didn’t go as well as I would have liked, tried to keep it as age appropriate as possible and not tell her too much but she was asking what I was doing and getting anxious. She was really upset and saying she didn’t want to leave (little white lie I told her we'll come back; she might if he behaves himself but I won’t be) but she seems ok now.

Hope you’re ok, looks like you’ve had some great advice in the thread, you should be so proud of yourself ❤️ keep yourself safe

AcrossthePond55 · 13/04/2024 18:54

@CandyColouredEggshells

He was surprisingly calm, I feel very unnerved.

Obvs there can be many reasons for this, but one of them may be that he's not all that surprised. They know 'what they are' and they often wonder why we put up with it (even as the abuse continues). So he may be thinking "Well, I guess I always knew I might push her too far and this might happen". If you're lucky, he's already looking around for, or has found, his next 'victim'.

Don't let your guard down but try to relax and not give it too much head space. There may be a shitstorm or there may not be. But as Hagrid said "No good sittin' worryin' abou' it. What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does".

Words of caution though:

-Don't agree to meet him anywhere alone or go back to the house 'to talk'.

-Agree to NOTHING regarding finances and/or the DC until you've run it by a solicitor.

-If he's going to see the DC, meet in a public place or arrange for him to see them at a safe third party's house. Always remember that he has equal parental rights. He has the legal ability to take the DC and not return them. If you think this is a possibility, you must get a legal agreement before he sees them with you not present.

-Assume that phone calls are being recorded or overheard and text messages screen shot*.

-The best form of communication is via email. Emails don't demand an 'instant response' like a text. You are able to digest and scrutinize his words carefully and then equally carefully craft a noncommittal response*. Remember "I'll have to give that some thought and get back to you" is a valid response to just about anything.

*One of the first things I learnt as a bureaucrat was 'never put anything in writing, but if you do, read it 5 times before submitting it. Better yet, have someone else read twice first'.

rockingbird · 13/04/2024 19:08

Hmm I'll be honest his calm manner concerns me. Was he a calculated person? Could he sit back and absorb this in order to plan his next move? I'd be making sure trusted friends and family knew where you were and what's going on. Don't meet him in person, not without someone else being there. Don't hand over your child until you're absolutely sure he's not going to pull some sort of stunt. I appreciate this is hard right now be please remind yourself as often as you have to why you left, before I go to bed each night I write down three things I'm thankful for.. try that, it's a bit of a game changer. Get yourself a nice note pad and write down how you're feeling - I've also done this and reading back over the past year and a half is really helpful. Be strong, for your child but also for yourself x

CandyColouredEggshells · 13/04/2024 20:47

He can be quite calculated, a recent example; I’d got my phone open on the table on Google maps because I was going somewhere for an appointment, he went over to it and picked it up and I tried to casually wander over and look over his shoulder. He said I was very possessive over my phone (I probably am, I’m always worried about leaving a tab such as this open or a call in my history from my DV support worker). When I got home that night he for a completely unrelated reason told me about a docu-drama or something he’d watched about a man who murdered his wife because she was having an affair, and in his words “they played an extract of the 999 call he made saying he thought she was dead and he’d killed her, and it was chilling but you can understand how he could do it”.

OP posts:
BosworthBosworth · 13/04/2024 21:05

Congratulations OP, I'm sure you're still in shock and others have much better advice than me, but what a brave and wonderful thing to have done. Nothing will make more of a difference to your daughter (and your) lives than what you have done today- well done x

Someonescatmum · 13/04/2024 21:48

@CandyColouredEggshells that is really sinister even if it's coincidence only.

rockingbird · 13/04/2024 22:30

Yes agree with the pp, sinister. Keep your guard up. Who knows where you are? Are the DV team aware? They can help you keep safe.

Sara93 · 14/04/2024 08:26

Well done for taking this big step OP. Agree with others that you should block his number for a while and get a payg phone. All the best with your new start ❤️

UmberScroller · 14/04/2024 08:49

Please could you update on how your doing and what your next steps are? In a very similar situation however possibly worse I have 3 young children no money stuck in a rural village with no car. I suffer physical violence and mental I'm drained I do not have the courage yet I'm scared and I can't bare to think about upsetting my children I need help but I don't no where to turn to I can't do things secretly as I'm never left alone.
I wish I could be as strong as you.

ap1999 · 14/04/2024 08:56

UmberScroller · 14/04/2024 08:49

Please could you update on how your doing and what your next steps are? In a very similar situation however possibly worse I have 3 young children no money stuck in a rural village with no car. I suffer physical violence and mental I'm drained I do not have the courage yet I'm scared and I can't bare to think about upsetting my children I need help but I don't no where to turn to I can't do things secretly as I'm never left alone.
I wish I could be as strong as you.

It would be great if you could start your own thread and perhaps we can all give you some ideas and encouragement for your situation.. the MN posse are so fabulous at practical advice and serious support/understanding. Are you safe to do that ?

UmberScroller · 14/04/2024 08:58

Absolutely not everything gets checked, I'm nervous to write this.

ZekeZeke · 14/04/2024 09:21

UmberScroller · 14/04/2024 08:58

Absolutely not everything gets checked, I'm nervous to write this.

I'm sorry you are in danger, please please call womens aid.

OP, well done on being so brave. Your DD will understand when she is older.