Who else has to ask permission to put the washing machine on?

[teacheroffsick]

We do have solar panels so cheaper to put washing machine on during the day.
When I've got mountains of washing, sometimes i just want to bung it on and try to get through it all. I have to say to DH "I'm putting a wash on this evening so don't have a go at me." He then tells me that it would save money to wait until the day. I understand this but as we have loads of washing at the moment, that's not enough to get it all done before school goes back next week. I've told DH that it's weird and old fashioned for me to have to check with him or ask him to put a wash on like I'm some sort of servant. I said that if he insists that I can't put it on this evening, then he'll have to manage his own washing this week so I can focus on getting mine and the kids done. Honestly, it's like living in the fucking Victorian age in this house sometimes with him being the head of the household.

Maybe he has a point?

Who pays the utility bills?

Stop asking. A job needs to be done so do it.

I've never asked to put the washing machine on. Sometimes I tell the kids to out a load on though!

What happens if you just out it on? Does he ignore it? Go ballistic? Or sulk? Unless you are really struggling financially a d count every penny I think he is totally unreasonable.

The day I have to ask that would be the end of my marriage.
How to you maintain a semblance of partnered married life (sex, fun, respect) in that setup?

What?
Het him to do the laundry….. simple!

What happens if you just put it on without giving notice?

If I just put it on, he'll have a rant and then sulk.

Be a rebel… put the washing on without telling him first.

Why does it matter who pays the utility bill - we're married. Same money.

Attractive...

I mean is he actually preventing you from putting the washing on or just making a suggestion (which is as annoying as it might be correct)? Couldn't you just ignore him?

Our washing machine is in the kitchen and annoyingly loud so I check that DP doesn't have plans to spend the afternoon relaxing by cooking first but that's not exactly asking permission.

Well that's just very childish of him. Ignore ignore ignore.

None of us "have to" ask and you don't either.

Why are you indulging this nonsense?

You understand the savings benefit of a daytime wash so it boils down to the fact that he doesn't trust you to weigh that against the need to address a huge pile of laundry.

Who made him king of the laundry logistics?

That doesn't mean one of you can't be prudent.

We have Economy 7 and have a timer so we can set the washing machine to come on at night.

Sorted.

Say what? Do you have to also ask to put the heat on? Does he tell you how many minutes you can take under the shower. Or how far you can go in the car? Not normal.

Let him rant and sulk. Options are if you are responsible for the laundry then you do it in the time that you choose, if he wants to take it over then his choice of time.
My first husband was a sulker and for years I walked on eggshells so as not to get days of the silent treatment. Once I learned to ignore it he pretty much gave it up.

I’m in the same situation. Even worse, the stupid washing machine has WiFi and links to his phone and sends him an alert when it’s finished, so he knows when I’ve done a load even when he’s at work. Then he makes snide comments.

Depends. If the extra money spent on washing at night is going to affect your finances to the point you are struggling to feed yourselves then he has a point.

If it just because he's a bit tight then he is wrong.

Either way you should have enough awareness of the family finances to make this decision on your own.

It never occurred to me ask my DH about any household stuff that needs doing. If it's actually cheaper to run the machine during daytime then I would just get on with it for yours and the kids and DH can do his own. After having to do his by himself a few times he might just stop.

Please don't let this continue. I don't know if you realise how bizarre this is (not criticising you, just pointing it out). It's really not acceptable.

He has no point. And it doesn't matter who pays the bills. Washing clothes is a job that gets done when the person who does the washing is able to do this. Night or day. The person who takes the responsibility of doing the washing so that everyone has clean clothes on loop is the one who gets to decide when it's done.

A good answer.

Who made him king of the laundry logistics?

See, I would absolutely make him the king of laundry logistics going forward. Not just his own laundry; everyone's. He evidently has strong feelings about it, so it's all his. And yes, I'm sure he would crash and burn and nobody would have clean pants/uniform/whatever but I am at best chaotic neutral so that wouldn't put me off.

Do yours and the kids washing.

Take his washing, put it in a bag. Do the same with all the rest of his belongings. Put them outside. Put him outside. Tell him to fuck off and not come back.

Lock the door and enjoy the rest of your life without a sulky man-baby.

The end.