Who else has to ask permission to put the washing machine on?

[teacheroffsick]

We do have solar panels so cheaper to put washing machine on during the day.
When I've got mountains of washing, sometimes i just want to bung it on and try to get through it all. I have to say to DH "I'm putting a wash on this evening so don't have a go at me." He then tells me that it would save money to wait until the day. I understand this but as we have loads of washing at the moment, that's not enough to get it all done before school goes back next week. I've told DH that it's weird and old fashioned for me to have to check with him or ask him to put a wash on like I'm some sort of servant. I said that if he insists that I can't put it on this evening, then he'll have to manage his own washing this week so I can focus on getting mine and the kids done. Honestly, it's like living in the fucking Victorian age in this house sometimes with him being the head of the household.

There are 4 adults in our house.
dh, dd, ds and I. We all work full time (bar dd who works part time and is at uni).

I do a wash every single day whether it’s clothes, towels or bedding. I don’t ask permission, that’s just weird.

i load the machine in the morning, dh puts it on when he gets home from work and I hang it up when I get in, repeat next day and the next day and the next.

if he isn’t happy tell him that he is in charge of the laundry.

Washing isn't that expensive anyway, I alway do a couple of hot washes on Sunday during the half price electric times and I think it saved about 50p

I love this routine

“He likes to remind me that he earns more.”

Ah and now there’s the rub. This isn’t about washing. Op is married to a total cunt.

I've said it before on MN over the years, but most women only really start to understand the patriarchy once they have children.

I see his point. You've shelled out for solar panels so he wants you to take advantage of the free electricity.
We've got solar panels plus a battery. I'm 'mindful' of when I put appliances on but if washing is piling up and there's no sign of the rain letting up for days then the washing machine goes on regardless. I have the app which shows what we're generating and storing though - I don't need DH's permission - I'm an adult and make my own decisions.

Waaay too controlling. Yes solar is there to offset costs, but when the weather is bad life still has to go on.

Are you with Octopus at all OP? I can download to the batteries at very reduced rates overnight to lower costs or download at low (or recently negative) prices and then export at much higher prices to offset electricity costs. With the batteries this means I can wash anytime of day.

Tell him to go fuck himself.
With a sharp rusty pipe.

You are married, you risked your life to go through pregnancy and birth and you are doing majority of household work.
He is in debt to you already.
So what if he earns more?
In marriage money is shared.

If he does not like the way you wash clothes he is free to become the Lord of Laundery and do it all by himself in whatever time convenient for him.
Also, buy a dryer. Unless you are starving it will help you out withtiming as understandably you wash overnight if you need to catch first glimpse of morning sun to dry it.
Probably once your tight prince becomes Lord of Laundery he will realize how liberating it is to wash and dry at own conenience.
Stop facilitating this shit.

Tbh I still can’t understand your washing routine. At the previous house when DD was smaller I had very limited space for drying which actually worked only during the day and couldn’t put the machine on during the evening because of the noise ( it was related to its position) so I always washed during the day (except for school uniform emergencies) sometimes putting it on timer. If it’s cheaper during the day I would wash during the day it didn’t matter what my DH would think about it. It would be my thinking.
However the way your DH approaches this issue is really annoying. Who is he to give you permission for washing? If he is so clever he should do all the washing himself.

Tell him, if he's such a fucking laundry expert, that all laundry is his job from now on. I can't believe young woman are accepting this sort of crap in the 21st century. I've been married 37 years and never would my husband dream of speaking to me like that!

That would just be for one load, though. Unless you're going to stay up late to unload/put the next lot on.
OP says she has loads to do this week.

Our dishwasher does this and DH will often comment on it, but only in joking terms - I’m off this week so he’ll send a text when the dishwasher finishes to say ‘so you’ve been up for at least an hour then lol’
If I thought he was serious then he’d be doing it himself.

We've never been on an equal footing since having kids. He likes to remind me that he earns more.

Do you want to stay in the marriage?

This is a bit weird, who cares my DH will ignore the noise of washing finishing and it beeping, who wants to check with an app, whilst not at home ? Strange. 😯

Need to reach some kind of compromise. Tell him calmly sorry your gonna have to put it on if the stuff is building up. I could not relax with all that work to be done and I’d be resenting him. Tell him you need to work together to get it done in the times he wants

Are you home in the day?

That's the point that would really affect my answer.

If you don't work and could have done it in the day then he's not being nearly as unreasonable as if you're at work with only the evenings to do the laundry.

A bit weird he has the washing machine on his phone.

The difference isnt to do with where you live it depends on whether you've bought battery storage.

I dont know the stats but my guess is most houses don't have batteries but that will probably change over time as things become cheaper

I have Economy 7 too.

Not if you have several loads a day it isn't.

And E7 is never going to be cheaper than free (on a good day).

If people read all the op’s posts - it’s not about the laundry

😂. This. Do this.

I am in Portugal and we have solar panels for hot water and then battery solar power for electricity throughout the day. I don't think I have seen any that don't have batteries (or at least they are using their solar electricity whenever they want, not just during the day)

Yeah I wouldn't be putting up with that shit. Can you block the notifications to his phone?

Why is it notifying his phone if you do the washing

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