Who else has to ask permission to put the washing machine on?

[teacheroffsick]

We do have solar panels so cheaper to put washing machine on during the day.
When I've got mountains of washing, sometimes i just want to bung it on and try to get through it all. I have to say to DH "I'm putting a wash on this evening so don't have a go at me." He then tells me that it would save money to wait until the day. I understand this but as we have loads of washing at the moment, that's not enough to get it all done before school goes back next week. I've told DH that it's weird and old fashioned for me to have to check with him or ask him to put a wash on like I'm some sort of servant. I said that if he insists that I can't put it on this evening, then he'll have to manage his own washing this week so I can focus on getting mine and the kids done. Honestly, it's like living in the fucking Victorian age in this house sometimes with him being the head of the household.

My DH is obsessed with getting the cheapest wash from the machine and the ironing, so he took over both! I just sort and put away now. If he's that bothered, he can just do it!

Don't put up with it, OP.

If he cares so much when his washing is done, put all his clothes in a bag and tell him to do them himself.

And get on with doing yours and the kids' when works for you.

If he doesn't like it then he can leave.

I have solar panels. There's enough daylight at the moment for me to run the washing machine at least twice a day and the dishwasher once completely for free if I'm at home and time it well. Trickier if I'm out if the house but can still make a considerable saving by putting them on timers to go one after the other. My solar panels don't have a battery so if I don't use the energy in the day time I only get a very small (pennies) payment for feeding it back to the national grid.

I don't have a DH but I would be cross with myself if I didn't make use of this and then had to run the washing machine at night. I've done it a few times eg needing a load done before going away or if someone was sick on bedsheets but making use of my solar panels does save me a lot of money.

Your DH needs to sort the washing in the daytime himself if he doesn't like your attitude to it.

The amount you save isn't worth the bother of all this, though obviously your husband is using it as an excuse to control you. Maybe buy a tumble dryer or is that your husband's choice also

Whatever bit of that washing machine that is connected to WIFI, I'd literally smash it with a hammer and see if he gets an alert for that.

Just disconnect it from the wifi, it's not like it's something you can run when no one's there, wifi is useful for things like heating which you use away from the home, why does he need to know when the washing is finished if he is not there to empty the machine

I’m definitely not shagging him. This is all part of a bigger problem. 😥

It’s a ridiculous feature. If we’re home, it’s quite obvious the cycle has finished. No one needs a fucking alert. I’ve tried loads to disconnect it but think i need his phone to disable it.

I still don't understand why it doesn't work equally well to put a wash on at around 9 am every day? Even quicker if you do one at 9 and another around 1. You said you normally do five washes a week, you've got five days left till schools go back, and it's not as if absolutely everything has to be washed and dry to be worn on Monday.

Every time he sulks, throws a tantrum or try’s to be controlling just look at him with a straight face and say “ewww” and walk away.

Worked when my sister did it to her husband.

You could run the washing machine (several times) in the day, why wait until the evening to use more expensive electricity? I do the reverse we have cheaper night time electricity so run the washing machine and dishwasher on timers in the early hours so it's done when I get up.

Another thing you put 'head of house' who decided he is head of house??

This is abuse. If you genuinely think he's the head of house, or he thinks he is, which ever way you look at it, it's abuse!

Still my only answer - LEAVE THAT ASSHOLE!!

I'm three months free of a toxic asshole!! And I can breathe finally 🥰

"Asking permission" is totally weird BUT if we had solar panels and it was cheaper at certain times, we would all be using appliances at the cheapest time. So I can see why he is frustrated too.

Because he's a control freak?!?!

😂But yep agreed, I do not know how any woman can find these types of men attractive?!?! Monitoring and sulking about when you put a load of laundry on to wash has got to be a massive turn off surely???

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀

It’s too controlling and you are an ADULT not ten years old!! Tell him to do one and go and micromanage someone else

If he wasn’t controlling the washing machine I am pretty sure he will move onto something else. You need to snuff this out or leave. He sounds insufferable. Tell him to get a god damn life.

I have lived in places where I didn't have my own washing machine. So I went to the laundrette once a week

I have my own washing machine & drier now

I have never asked anyone permission to do the laundry, ever & never will

OP is, I think, doing this for the most part. But she’s on catch up on a big washing pile and just wants to get through it without another constraint

WTAF?? 😮

Yes to this.

OP, your husband sounds like a controlling twat who should definitely be doing his own washing. I do not understand why you can’t do 2 washes in the day and put the second wash out on the line overnight to finish off drying in the early morning. I don’t put the washing machine, tumble dryer or dishwasher on overnight as my brother used to be a fire fighter and this was a common cause of house fires that didn’t get detected soon enough.

Do you have to ask permission for anything else ?

Do you work & earn your own money ?

I could NOT live like this.