A thread for fwb survivors (perhaps a little tongue in cheek)

[FWBSurvivor]

This is a thread for people who've had fwb where it hasn't ended in an ideal way? Which is kinda where I am at the moment.

Usually fwb suits me fine and when things come to a natural end I walk away it takes a little time to mend a bruised ego of course if they've been the one to end it. This situation is a little different.

Maybe I let it go on too long (nearly a year, I usually limit to around 6 months) and I did really like him. There were/are good reasons why it could never have become a serious/permanent relationship and I knew that from the start as did he and it didn't seem as if it would be a problem.

But then time goes on and I did come to like him quite a lot. He's chosen to end things as there are things he wants from a relationship which I simply cannot provide unfortunately. Nobody's fault just... life.

But I am feeling a little bruised as a result of things ending and not sure how long this will last or the best way to move forward.

So I thought a thread to chat with others who've been in a similar boat may help. You never know.

Have you told him you are on OLD?

Hey 👋
No haven’t told him, paused my profile but I’m going back on there because I had an exchange with him today that indicates he’s full of rubbish.
@OfcourseitsaNC
thank you for hit of realism! It stings but I truly need it 😂😅

@Joboomerthat’s so sad. I’m sorry for your friend. I do think one of the health risks of these types of relationships is how isolated we are in them.

@ThatRubyLionplease ditch him

I actually think you are me a couple of years ago! I could have written almost everything you say. I got there and so will you

Thanks @Moresunlessrain☺️🙏

Gosh I’m so glad I’ve got this support network on here xx. I’ve been grovelling to him for 2 and a half days and he’s just said to me stop overthinking god

his exact words

Presumably because I said let’s not let a misunderstanding stop us meeting again and then all of a sudden he tells me to stop overthinking god 😞

Honestly, that would not be a bad thing.

I think you need to ask yourself why you're jumping through hoops to prove yourself to this man. This dynamic is really off, I think he just enjoys upsetting you, I really do. He is not a nice man and no matter what form our relationships take, we deserve to be treated with respect, courtesy and kindness.

Without wanting to pry, can I ask why it is you want a FWB relationship? For me it's because I'm a lone parent now and don't have the time or emotional capacity at the moment for a full relationship, but I still want intimacy and 'somone' in whatever limited way I can. Ask yourself honestly, is this all you think you deserve, because I can tell you with 100% certainty that it's not.

@Clytemnestra21 That was a bit of a disappointing curve ball. Did it come out of the blue or do you think he felt you were pulling away and said it to win you back? Is he generally rubbish at communicating anything remotely linked to feelings and maybe not expecting you to question him?

Thankyou, this is why this thread is so helpful as I just don’t see it as clearly when I’m in the actual situation. X I’m a single parent of 4 he came along in February and we have been Fwb ever since

God, he’s such an idiot.

How’s the swiping going?

I'm glad talking it through helps. Friends IRL dont always get it, do they? I'm fact, very few of mine know anything about my FWB at all!

I see you also have the limited capacity issue - tricky, isn't it? You've not really been in this situation all that long really, do you think you fear not finding anyone else if you let him go?

Do you have any daughters? If so, how would you feel if they told you that someone was treating them this way and what would you advise them?

It really does, apart from this forum no-one else gets the whole fwb thing. x

He text me earlier to say don’t worry about it I said well I do worry so maybe with what he said saying stop overthinking god he was right to say I just feel terrible about it

Yes I do, 3.

Im starting to think it would have been a lot easier if I’d just never met him back at the start of February 😞

Hey fellow survivors! 👋
how is everyone?
so I finally had answer from FwB about making it official. He says ideally he’d like to but he’s worried about the impact on his child and stirring up trouble with his ex so doesn’t want to rush things by putting a spotlight on us.
Whilst I get the anxieties, there’s nothing positive about what he does want with me. He says he cares about me. But there’s nothing showing an intention about the future.
its word salad to keep me stuck isn’t it?

Has he said he loves you? If he doesn’t then why would he want a relationship with you? I’m sorry but yes I think it’s sneaky excuses. And really cowardly of him to say it’s because of his child

@Clytemnestra21 I’m sorry but yes it is. We’ve been talking on this thread for a year now - there is no rushing going on here!!!

i do think he likes you, but I think he’s an absolute muppet and you deserve more. And if there really are issues with either the ex or the child, then frankly, run. You absolutely don’t need that.

I call bullshit sorry 😔 just another delay tactic to keep you hanging around. Coward of a man

@Moresunlessrain@mummypigoink@Kat888
thank you
feeling a bit sad
😔
but it’s pretty clear

This thread is about to get to 1000 and then I think expires, shall we do a new one?

Good idea x

Aw @Clytemnestra21 these situations are the worst becasue there's no catalyst or dramatic event to make you pull the plug. He obviously does like you, but for whatever reason he doesn't want the same things as you. He's being extremely selfish in keeping you on the hook when he knows your feelings.

Even if he does give way eventually, can you imagine what the future would look like with everything such an uphill battle?