Blocked after an intimate video call and now I'm panicking

[Worriedashell84]

So I got talking to a foreign guy on a dating site 2 weeks ago, a mixture of video calls and phone calls. There was never anything sexual the whole 2 weeks and in fact we were talking about lots of different things, like music , the meaning of life etc. He never once tried to get me to take my top off or anything the whole time. We were chatting most days as well.
However in the last video call, a couple of nights ago, things turned sexual. The app we used is end to end encrypted however in hindsight I'm now panicking that he video recorded it or has screenshotted stuff, especially now that he has blocked me.
I never took my bra or pants off , but I did show him my breasts a bit with my bra on ( I tried not to show my face in that but I can't be sure) and I did show my hand touching underneath my underwear a bit but obviously my face isn't in it.

At most there might be a picture of me with my bra on but showing my breasts and I also didn't show them both at the one time, if he has screenshotted that part.
I should say he was very aroused during the call and actually came during it. He also showed himself down there fully erect and coming. (Sorry if tmi, just trying to get all context in)
If it's a case where he realizes he just didn't fancy me and has blocked me, then fine, I can deal with that.
But if he has screenshotted stuff or recorded anything then yes I would be a bit worried.
So my question is am I jumping to conclusions and panicking needlessly? Would you be worried about this?

I only realized I was blocked today which was 2 days after the call. I can't believe how stupid I've been, I actually liked the guy.
I think the fact that he never tried to make things sexual for the whole 2 weeks made me trust him and actually it was sort of me who initiated it in the last call as I really fancied him. He also works in IT which makes me worry more as he is IT savvy.
I am never ever doing an intimate video call with anyone ever again.

So should I just forget about this awful judgement call and vow to never do anything like this again or should I actually be worried?
I think the fact that he has blocked me has made me think he has done or is doing something sinister.
Sorry for the ramble,, I'm just actually panicking this morning

She said she has decided to end it so idk why this thread is still going and why everyone is still grilling her? 🙄

Everyone who has been a victim of a scam-romance or otherwise-probably thought at one point that they'd never be fool enough to fall for a scam.

I read somewhere that the most vulnerable people to scams/other types of crime-are the people who think it'll never happen to them because they don't put measures in place to protect themselves.

Think the people who get into strange cars because "if the driver is dodgy, I'll see it in his eyes," people. The more aware and cautious you are-the safer.

I'm not going to "slut shame" you-but engaging in sexual activity online with someone that you don't know isn't smart. You know this-or you wouldn't have created the thread. You know it is risky-so I'd strongly urge you to not do it again.

This isn't about being a "prudish nun" it's about not taking unnecessary risks. You don't know him and online-anyone can be whoever they say they are. For all you truly know-he's a married man, working in a call centre, celebrating because he got you to act just as he wanted a lot sooner than anticipated and he's thinking he's onto a winner.

No, you can't simply take people at face value until they show you they can't be trusted. That is foolishness and a disaster waiting to happen. You probably don't act that way in any other area of your life-I assume you don't get into strange cars with strange men-right? So why act foolish here and extend the benefit of the doubt on someone who hasn't earned it?

Why not err on the side of caution, block him (because let's be real-even if he was legit-where is it going?) and find someone else that is less risky? And don't fool yourself that only unattractive women get scammed. Scammers target anyone that bears the hallmarks of being vulnerable-and vulnerability isn't measured on the attractiveness scale.

The women on Tinder Swindler were all young, slim, attractive and successful women. They were all targeted by the same man, using the same tactics that they all fell for and I am sure that their level of attractiveness played into why he chose them as his victims. It probably gave him an increased thrill knowing he'd scammed not only women-but beautiful, successful women too.

I think the point was, even if he's not a pro scammer he could still be a visa-hunter.

Either way, it's not looking rosy

Well you’ve changed your tune. Nuns is it and 🙄🙄🙄with all due respect,posters are telling you uncomfortable truths
You've got yourself in a right potentially compromising mess with an online wanker(literally) and you’re giving it 🙄🙄🙄 to the nuns on the thread
I genuinely wish You well and I think you’re understandably feeling got at and so are defensively acting out
Take some time, think about your vulnerabilities don’t get compromised again

oh I see you’re laughing 😂😂 at us nuns as opposed to 🙄. Yes because we are the problem

Where did she say that?

Page 15 at 11:22.

16:22 today Ok I will block him that kinda covers it

OP, you’re being disingenuous. A few hours ago, when you first posted, when you thought he’d blocked you, you thought you were looking at a situation where this virtual stranger had recorded or screenshotted you masturbating, possibly including your face. Now you have a ‘plausible’ explanation of his silence, you’re being retrospectively all positive about it, and are getting cross and self-righteous that other people are still more concerned that you seem to be struck by the gentlemanliness of a total stranger not requiring you to take your clothes off on a video for a whole fortnight.

OP thinking of it from his point of view, what does he have to gain from chatting to and dating a well heeled British woman who is single in her 40s?

You tick a lot if boxes:

Not married
Got money
Western morals (up for internet sex and sex in general without marriage) not judging just that it’s different to his home set up

The only way to tell if he’s serious is to let him know you’re heavily in debt (of course you’re not) so he knows you’ve got no money.

no money to fly him over, no money to give to his sick dad, no money to support him with a spousal visa.

If he’s still interested in you just for sex, it may last a bit longer…

But if you took sex and money off the table, I wonder if he’d still be interested in you.

Seriously ask yourself what he wants from a 40 year old woman with a kid in the U.K.?

When if he’s that good looking he could have his pick of women in Morocco and presumably could go to places in Morocco where he could meet some western women the same age as him. Who would be attracted to him if he’s that good looking?

Why is he hanging out online with a 40 year old British single mum all the way over in the U.K.?

It’s got scam written all over it.

Experienced the same slurs over 40 years ago in Sydney. Total disrespect from young women whose parents had fled wartorn regions in Lebanon, welcomed to Australia as refugees. We were students at the time. I was told we had been called sluts because we had gone to the movies in the middle of the day, with the teenage brother one of us as a chaperone by the way.🤷‍♀️🙄

I’m seeing a lot coveted slut shaming on this thread, like somehow doing a sexy video call with a young hot Moroccan guy is a bad thing and she should be punished. The pearl crutching brigade is out full force today. Looks like “dirty white wh-ore” is not only shouted in the street by young Muslim boys but by English women on the internet too.

Right?

I think he probably is a scammer but Lordy, video sex is safer than STDs.

If my nudes ever get leaked I hope I'm 70 so I can remember how great I looked. 😉

not quite sure what you mean by "coveted" as it doesn't really make sense in the context of that sentence but if you're suggesting it's jealousy, why would any one be jealous of the OP having the opportunity to see a close up of an ejaculating penis?

A hot guy naked and turned on?

I can certainly see the appeal.

And not just nuns, but old too! 'Granny' used as an insult... nice bit of ageism there... ugly's not just on the outside...

I'm reminded of Tania in 'Muriel's Wedding' screaming 'I'm beautiful!!!!' as it all slips away from her...

There’s many reasons why women get slut shamed by other women, they go from internalised misogyny, fear, envy etc…

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle why would any one be jealous of the OP having the opportunity to see a close up of an ejaculating penis?

Because (hold on to your chair) many of us find the view of a young good looking hot guy ejaculating highly erotic and a massive turn on.

I think most of us are concerned for her safety than slut shaming. The reality is that allowing yourself to be naked on video can end up with unwanted consequences. I’ve seen it happen with ex friends and the police involved.

I agree with you, blackmail for “sexy” pics or videos is a big thing, I would never indulge in it with online strangers, but there’s a big difference between warning the OP from the dangers of revenge porn and slut shaming her, I’ve seen plenty of the latter on this thread.

Good for you. I'd rather actually be with a man , the whole man , not a close up of a a spurting penis on a screen.

And like other posters I'm finding the fetishisation of his ethnicity a bit distasteful. I see in your previous post he wasn't just any "hot young guy" but a "Moroccan, hot young guy"

FFS the OP started the thread saying she was worried about the video being online, telling her that it would be unwise to do it again is not shut shaming!

And, if that floats your boat, would be absolutely fine, if we omit the OP’s total panic when she first posted, that a total stranger might have identifiable screenshots and/or video of her masturbating topless, and be planning to use them for blackmail purposes.

The fetishisation of his ethnicity isn't pretty either.

Good for you! But sometimes not all of us want to be with “a man, a whole man”, sometimes life gets complicated, we may have a busy job, small children, aging parents or simply no desire for a relationship, we just want 15 mins of hot Moroccan young guy with a penis.

I'm assuming she meant covert. Which doesn't really fit either given it was pretty much in plain sight. It's one thing to warn the OP about being scammed, but there's been posters climbing over themselves at the opportunity for some misogynist moral judgement, and their ill disguised glee at the thought of a woman who dares to express herself sexually getting her comeuppance. Not everone obviously, just certain unpleasant individuals claiming they are 'embarassed for' a woman they've never met that she's 'predatory' and other silly hyperbole. Even after the OP agreed to block the guy they kept coming after her.