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Original poster

Blocked after an intimate video call and now I'm panicking

568 replies

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:18

So I got talking to a foreign guy on a dating site 2 weeks ago, a mixture of video calls and phone calls. There was never anything sexual the whole 2 weeks and in fact we were talking about lots of different things, like music , the meaning of life etc. He never once tried to get me to take my top off or anything the whole time. We were chatting most days as well.
However in the last video call, a couple of nights ago, things turned sexual. The app we used is end to end encrypted however in hindsight I'm now panicking that he video recorded it or has screenshotted stuff, especially now that he has blocked me.
I never took my bra or pants off , but I did show him my breasts a bit with my bra on ( I tried not to show my face in that but I can't be sure) and I did show my hand touching underneath my underwear a bit but obviously my face isn't in it.

At most there might be a picture of me with my bra on but showing my breasts and I also didn't show them both at the one time, if he has screenshotted that part.
I should say he was very aroused during the call and actually came during it. He also showed himself down there fully erect and coming. (Sorry if tmi, just trying to get all context in)
If it's a case where he realizes he just didn't fancy me and has blocked me, then fine, I can deal with that.
But if he has screenshotted stuff or recorded anything then yes I would be a bit worried.
So my question is am I jumping to conclusions and panicking needlessly? Would you be worried about this?

I only realized I was blocked today which was 2 days after the call. I can't believe how stupid I've been, I actually liked the guy.
I think the fact that he never tried to make things sexual for the whole 2 weeks made me trust him and actually it was sort of me who initiated it in the last call as I really fancied him. He also works in IT which makes me worry more as he is IT savvy.
I am never ever doing an intimate video call with anyone ever again.

So should I just forget about this awful judgement call and vow to never do anything like this again or should I actually be worried?
I think the fact that he has blocked me has made me think he has done or is doing something sinister.
Sorry for the ramble,, I'm just actually panicking this morning

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 30/03/2024 07:23

Whatever his motive, he got what he wanted. There's realistically nothing that you can do about it now, so just write it down to experience & don't do anything like that again.

lizzielizard · 30/03/2024 07:25

I'm wondering if, as you said, it was you who was coming onto him that he woke up feeling embarrassed/ashamed at what he's exposed (literally) and decided to block you. That could be very likely if he's from a religious background. If I were you, I'd learn from it and move on. I think if he was interested in recording you, he'd be back for more. Don't worry!

Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:25

@Meadowfinch yeah if he just was using me for sex and got what he wanted , that's ok, yes a bit shit but I can deal with it. I'm just worrying about what he might have done with the video call. I certainly didn't feel like he was screenshotting anything but who knows.
I also have a history of anxiety so that's obviously not helping the situation.

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 30/03/2024 07:26

In the whole scheme of things it doesn’t sound like you were that x rated. A shot of a woman in a bra probably doesn’t have that much currency as far as porn goes. On the optimistic side could it be that he’s embarrassed and nervous that you’ve recorded him? Otherwise it’s probably that he’s achieved what he wanted and he’s off to the next challenge. Probable nothing more sinister than that.

Mrsttcno1 · 30/03/2024 07:27

Honestly OP all you can do now is try to forget about it. Whether he screenshotted it, screen recorded it, just felt the ick the next day- there’s nothing you can do about it now and you’ll never know for sure either way. Just write this off as experience and move on x

Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:27

@lizzielizard he's actually Muslim and told me he was a virgin, he's 28. I find it hard to believe he's a virgin to be honest. But interesting that you mention the religion thing, I never thought of that

OP posts:
CormorantStrikesBack · 30/03/2024 07:28

I’d be concerned it could be some sort of blackmail scam. I’d block him on everything. Make sure all your social media is locked down so he can’t even see your friends on fb, etc.

Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:32

@CormorantStrikesBack yes if he does try to blackmail me, I wouldn't fall for it. I would just contact the police, probably not much they can do though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:33

This is the story of my life, worrying about catastrophic things that haven't happened.
I'm also a bit gutted as I liked him .

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:36

@divebar, yes it wasn't very X rated, he may have managed to get a screenshot of me showing one of my breasts with my bra straps down.

OP posts:
Axx · 30/03/2024 07:38

Try to forget it now but learn from it. Someone you've met online two weeks ago is a stranger.

Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:40

Sorry I should mention, yes my bra was on but I had taken it down a bit and pulled the straps down so he would have actually seen my full breast. God, I'm actually cringing writing this 🤦

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 30/03/2024 07:41

You can't do anything but for goodness sakes be more careful, gullible only works for so long

warmmfeet · 30/03/2024 07:43

He probably married or something

Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:43

Omg update! He hasn't blocked me, my message to him has just been delivered. Wtf. So I haven't heard from him in 2 days since the video call, which I thought was strange as he normally calls me every day.
So I messaged him 2 hours ago and asked was he ok and it went undelivered.
He has now replied to my message saying yes he is ok as I had asked him how he was.

OP posts:
Vaccances · 30/03/2024 07:44

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:27

@lizzielizard he's actually Muslim and told me he was a virgin, he's 28. I find it hard to believe he's a virgin to be honest. But interesting that you mention the religion thing, I never thought of that

A man who cums quickly at the sight of a breast and knickers is hardly likley to be some experienced sexually predator.

As i read your posts, its more likely he is blocking you (or as turns out, a msg delivery issue) as he feels very embarrassed (religion can do that after the act) & he showed you a hell of lot more than you did to him, he might be scared you will blackmail him??

Also, if he wanted you for just sex, he'd have come back for more, after all why not, he saw very little of you.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 30/03/2024 07:45

When you say foreign do you mean he lives in a different country and you were never going to meet in person?

Also "the whole two weeks" reads very strangely - it's no time at all!

Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:47

@CharlotteCollinsneeLucas yes he lives in Morocco, I'm in the UK .

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:50

Literally what would I do without Mumsnet, I go to you guys before I even go to my friends.
He has just sent me a photo of him with his dad in hospital.
This is so typical of me, jump to the worst conclusion possible.

OP posts:
tommika · 30/03/2024 07:50

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:32

@CormorantStrikesBack yes if he does try to blackmail me, I wouldn't fall for it. I would just contact the police, probably not much they can do though.

Not a lot would / could be done for ‘basic’ blackmail.
But at some time in the future you will get one of the fake spam blackmail emails - don’t believe it just be connecting to this.

A friend came to me worried because she had a threatening blackmail email, and she might have to pay up ….. she also informed her manager as she is in a professional role.
Her manager pretty much laughed it off and also said it was just a fake scam.

It was the one that tells you to pay up or they will publish screenshots of the you watching porn. She had been watching porn and was worried about being ‘outted’

What had she done ? - Watched online porn on a girls night out with a circle of women laughing at it.
So she was to be ‘exposed’ as a member of a group of laughing women

@Worriedashell84 In your case, a thing happened online with grown adults.
Any screenshots won’t have anything incriminating or ‘worthy’ of publishing

Either he got what he wanted with an interaction, or he’s also sat at home worried about what he had shown online and you could have taken screenshots yourself

VanCleefArpels · 30/03/2024 07:55

Tread carefully OP. The picture with his “Dad” in hospital can be the start of romance fraud, seeking help with costs etc. what’s to be gained from pursuing this relationship with someone in Morocco??

Axx · 30/03/2024 07:56

Why did you think you were blocked?

Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:59

@Axx because I hadn't heard from him since the intimate video call for 2 days which was weird as I hear from him everyday and then when I texted him this morning, it went undelivered, one grey tick. So I jumped to the worst conclusion

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 08:00

@VanCleefArpels I know, nothing to be gained really. I just really fancy him, he has very good English so we are able to converse and we talk about all sorts of stuff

OP posts:
Letsjustswoosh · 30/03/2024 08:00

A picture of him with his dad in hospital sounds like huge red flags waving OP, it sounds like you’re going to be scammed.