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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband beat me up. Help and advice please

365 replies

unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:19

My husband and I went out on the weekend had a few drinks
Got home had an argument that he started over nothing and he beat me.
Threw me on the floor kicked me, strangled me and smashed my face into the wall and made my nose bleed.

I tried to call the police and my friends but he took my phone so I just went to bed and sobbed and fell asleep

I've ignored him since he is still in the house I don't know what to do... he's saying he remembers nothing and he's cried when he has saw my bruises and cuts and ripped out hair.

I know he has to go I can't even look at him or speak to him or even have the energy to tell him to get out I haven't slept hardly since it happened. My body is black and blue

I'm too ashamed to tell my family or anyone that I've just not done anything and lied about why I called them at that hour, I've just been going to work and carrying on caring for my 2 boys like normal.. (they where not in the house) I feel like I'm in a dream just like I'm just functioning but not really here.

I can't process what has happened at all

What do I do now
I am literally just surviving for my kids and in some kind of limbo I need to snap out of

OP posts:
ProjectsGalore · 05/03/2024 22:24

Police. Things will only get worse from here. So sorry this is happening to you. You must get out.

labourlost · 05/03/2024 22:25

I am so sorry to hear this, please report this awful attack on you. Women’s Aid are really helpful, they can support you & your children.

Eyesopenwideawake · 05/03/2024 22:26

If a stranger had attacked you in the street you would feel outrage, not shame. Grab that outrage with both hands and get him away from you and your children.

Original poster
unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:26

labourlost · 05/03/2024 22:25

I am so sorry to hear this, please report this awful attack on you. Women’s Aid are really helpful, they can support you & your children.

He's being so overly nice and trying to wait on me it's making me feel sick

OP posts:
WoodBurningStov · 05/03/2024 22:28

Another vote for calling the police, next time could be so much worse. If the police are aware they will put a flag on your address so if something did happen they'd be there quicker. You need your prioritise your safety and your children's safety over him.

Original poster
unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:28

Eyesopenwideawake · 05/03/2024 22:26

If a stranger had attacked you in the street you would feel outrage, not shame. Grab that outrage with both hands and get him away from you and your children.

You are right
It's been days now and I just feel so fuckintg ridiculous I didn't get out the house or get him out the next day I just feel
Really really weird and in a dream

I don't even know where to
Start.

So so
Close with my family and it's killing me
I've not told them and I'm like how can I now ???

OP posts:
Redglitter · 05/03/2024 22:29

You need to contact the Police.

If you can't call them, can you message a friend & ask them to call on your behalf. Alternatively go to your local Police Force Web page & report it online.

Please report it. Next time he could kill you

Feliciacat · 05/03/2024 22:29

unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:26

He's being so overly nice and trying to wait on me it's making me feel sick

Show quote history

Of course he is. He knows what he’s done and what the consequences will be. If you let him get away with this then he will only get worse. I’m so sorry you got beaten up. This should never happen to anyone; let alone at the hands of their spouse. Contact women’s aid.

Coffeeeclair · 05/03/2024 22:29

OP, if you private message me, I'll call 999 for you xx

Original poster
unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:29

WoodBurningStov · 05/03/2024 22:28

Another vote for calling the police, next time could be so much worse. If the police are aware they will put a flag on your address so if something did happen they'd be there quicker. You need your prioritise your safety and your children's safety over him.

Will the police call social services and they will want to speak to
My kids ?

I can't put them
Through this

OP posts:
Redglitter · 05/03/2024 22:29

unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:28

You are right
It's been days now and I just feel so fuckintg ridiculous I didn't get out the house or get him out the next day I just feel
Really really weird and in a dream

I don't even know where to
Start.

So so
Close with my family and it's killing me
I've not told them and I'm like how can I now ???

Show quote history

You can tell them now & they'll understand you were scared and tramatised at the time

cestlavielife · 05/03/2024 22:31

Poluce
Gp to rec ord bruises or go to a and e
Or go to boots oharmacy and ask for con sultation

DaughterNo2 · 05/03/2024 22:31

Take photos of bruises. Ring the police!

Coffeeeclair · 05/03/2024 22:32

Redglitter · 05/03/2024 22:29

You can tell them now & they'll understand you were scared and tramatised at the time

Show quote history

This!

cestlavielife · 05/03/2024 22:32

It is not too late
Go tomorro

Ask for ANI (Action Needed Immediately) has been developed by the Home Office to allow domestic abuse sufferers to signal they need emergency help to a chemist.
It has been developed to help those who have felt isolated and more difficult to ask for help during lockdown.
Victims of domestic abuse are able to use the codeword ANI in participating pharmacies (including all Boots stores and participating independent pharmacies) to let staff know that they require an emergency police response or help contacting a helpline or specialist support service.

Original poster
unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:33

cestlavielife · 05/03/2024 22:31

Poluce
Gp to rec ord bruises or go to a and e
Or go to boots oharmacy and ask for con sultation

I've taken pictures of all my injuries when I got out of the bath tonight

He's been sleeping in another room

7 years and he's never done anything like this I'm so so shocked and devestated

OP posts:
thisisasurvivor · 05/03/2024 22:34

You must get out

Police asap

I'm so sorry op
Been there xxxxx

Coffeeeclair · 05/03/2024 22:34

unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:33

I've taken pictures of all my injuries when I got out of the bath tonight

He's been sleeping in another room

7 years and he's never done anything like this I'm so so shocked and devestated

Show quote history

Sadly it's not going to be the last time.
For your sake and the sake of your kids please report him, take pictures and document everything. Police won't question you over why you've waited a few days. You were in shock and didn't know what to do and he took your phone away initially

BobbyBleu · 05/03/2024 22:34

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
Please reach out to a friend or family, even if it's just a txt to say I need help, can you come to me.
If you were my friend, I would absolutely want to be there for you and help you to leave to be somewhere safe even if it was sleeping on my sofa for a few nights.
You said you are close to your family, they will want to know and be able to support you. They love you.
Then you can start to think about contacting the police etc
You can't trust him now. He's the person who is supposed to protect you and love you and he's hurt you.
Please get some support from your friends or family.

Coffeeeclair · 05/03/2024 22:35

Also OP, if you don't feel comfortable talking to the police over the phone, you can also text 999

abbiemk · 05/03/2024 22:36

unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:19

My husband and I went out on the weekend had a few drinks
Got home had an argument that he started over nothing and he beat me.
Threw me on the floor kicked me, strangled me and smashed my face into the wall and made my nose bleed.

I tried to call the police and my friends but he took my phone so I just went to bed and sobbed and fell asleep

I've ignored him since he is still in the house I don't know what to do... he's saying he remembers nothing and he's cried when he has saw my bruises and cuts and ripped out hair.

I know he has to go I can't even look at him or speak to him or even have the energy to tell him to get out I haven't slept hardly since it happened. My body is black and blue

I'm too ashamed to tell my family or anyone that I've just not done anything and lied about why I called them at that hour, I've just been going to work and carrying on caring for my 2 boys like normal.. (they where not in the house) I feel like I'm in a dream just like I'm just functioning but not really here.

I can't process what has happened at all

What do I do now
I am literally just surviving for my kids and in some kind of limbo I need to snap out of

Please leave and tell your family. People saying police but I really think you should go to your family first and with their support then go to the police. Make sure you take photos of everything he has done to you. Please don't feel embarrassed or silly for not telling your family! They'll be happier you telling them now then never telling them and I'm sure they'll understand why you haven't yet, you're probably in shock if this is the first time it's happened. So sorry this has happened to you 😔 and as hard as it will be just think of your boys and what you deserve

Original poster
unmumsyma1 · 05/03/2024 22:36

BobbyBleu · 05/03/2024 22:34

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
Please reach out to a friend or family, even if it's just a txt to say I need help, can you come to me.
If you were my friend, I would absolutely want to be there for you and help you to leave to be somewhere safe even if it was sleeping on my sofa for a few nights.
You said you are close to your family, they will want to know and be able to support you. They love you.
Then you can start to think about contacting the police etc
You can't trust him now. He's the person who is supposed to protect you and love you and he's hurt you.
Please get some support from your friends or family.

I have been avoiding my mum because I think if I see her I'll break down

Why am I being so pathetic

I actually hate him I want him to fuck off

I just keep thinking of my kids and what I will say to them and what life will look like

I know I need to do this

OP posts:
ISeeTheLight · 05/03/2024 22:36

Please leave tonight op. Call the police and women's aid, they can find you a place in a shelter.
You don't want to end up in a news article- woman killed by partner. It WILL escalate.

almostthere75 · 05/03/2024 22:36

Don't worry.. family social services only want to help and protect but YOU have to want to protect yourself and your children which I'm sure you do.

Report him , get it all documented and ask for your friend's support , for your children , to have play dates while you do it.
What a nasty thug.