Husband beat me up. Help and advice please

[unmumsyma1]

My husband and I went out on the weekend had a few drinks
Got home had an argument that he started over nothing and he beat me.
Threw me on the floor kicked me, strangled me and smashed my face into the wall and made my nose bleed.

I tried to call the police and my friends but he took my phone so I just went to bed and sobbed and fell asleep

I've ignored him since he is still in the house I don't know what to do... he's saying he remembers nothing and he's cried when he has saw my bruises and cuts and ripped out hair.

I know he has to go I can't even look at him or speak to him or even have the energy to tell him to get out I haven't slept hardly since it happened. My body is black and blue

I'm too ashamed to tell my family or anyone that I've just not done anything and lied about why I called them at that hour, I've just been going to work and carrying on caring for my 2 boys like normal.. (they where not in the house) I feel like I'm in a dream just like I'm just functioning but not really here.

I can't process what has happened at all

What do I do now
I am literally just surviving for my kids and in some kind of limbo I need to snap out of

Some days are going to seem so much harder than others and this is still a massive thing for you to get over, be kind to yourself.
I used to work for a domestic abuse charity working with children who had witnessed and/or been victims of domestic abuse.
I'd recommend contacting a charity local to you who can offer not only you support but also the children. They are experts in these situations and sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who isn't family or friends.

She'll have to tell them something if the police investigate. I don't think she needs to go into any detail about what happened but 'he hurt me so I left because we should always leave people who hurt us' is fine imo.

Life isn't a ball park. Even for kids. We're so caught up in the notion of preserving innocence that we don't realise that they've likely suffered as much as we have in abusive relationships. And would love someone to just be fricken honest with them (within reason).

And personally, I think everyone, irregardless of how old they are, has the right to know if someone close to them is violent. Whether they are 8 or 108.

I agree with the previous two posts. Simple and supportive but tell the truth and that way you won't have to back track on anything with the DCs in the future.

Hope your ok op .

Hope everything is ok with you and you have plenty of support xx

Ok so I regularly do referrals for domestic abuse and I always completes this RIC checklist.

If you tick 'Yes' 14 or more times it shows a high risk case which needs a multiagency discussion.

Please report to the police. Please call your local DV agency. Please seek professional help.

Non fatal strangulation is such a high risk indicator.

Please contact us at womens aid for support. We would advise you to ring the police to report it and contact us..theres support out there.

Yes, the case would be referred to MARAC as high risk.

Please don’t blame yourself for not acting more quickly- you will have been in shock and just survival mode.
You’re doing great now but please report to the police. It will give you so much more protection going forwards. It will mean he can’t come back to the house. If you don’t report then he can legally return to the house whenever he wants.

Stay strong, OP. You have no reason to feel guilty at all, please try to remember that.

I really hope you're doing OK and that you spend some lovely family time with the kids for Mother's Day.x.

How are you doing op ?

Hi OP

im noting you haven’t been online for a while and really hope that you and your H have not reconciled.

I grew up in a home filled with DV. We knew about it - we were terrified by it and we had to endure it until we all left home (at age 16). Rather than thinking about guilt and love please try to think if this is why you had children! They will not miss him (well they wouldn’t if they knew the real him and that real him will always come out!)

we all have very limited contact with our mum as she failed completely to protect any of us. I wish she hadn’t….

please put the needs of your children above anything else xx

OP, how are you? Have been hoping that you’re living a better life now with your children and support of your mum and family. 💐

Yes echoing this.

I hope you stayed away from him op and are living a better life.

Hope you’re ok OP x